Bahala manlimbong basta daug! This is a concept
being stood upon by people who are highly competitive that even if others see
them as NOT deserving of the win, they do anything just be recognized. They do
not consider waste of resources or hurt feelings since they are centered to the
WIN. The problem with this mindset (or behavioral dysfunction) is that winning
moments are fleeting. After the euphoria, another set of recognition is craved
for... Unless the unhealthy ambition is confronted, the craving for recognition
escalates to the point that their families and personal lives are affected.
Research studies
suggest that there are different kinds of self-esteem. Some people may have a
secure sense of self, regardless of the situation, whereas others may have
unstable or fragile self-esteem that varies depending on their last
accomplishment or whom they are able to impress. When they are doing well, they
feel great and even superior to others, whereas when they encounter setbacks,
they tend to feel shame and self-doubt. This results in anxiety and vigilance
around social status and performance. They have to keep comparing themselves to
others to make sure they are measuring up and haven't fallen behind (Greenberg,
2011).
This is the reason
why these individuals see other people as their competitor. Since they are
comparing themselves to others and they feel some sort of inadequacy of others’
successes, they often develop contempt towards the so-called competitor. They
will even reach the point of putting others down through character
assassination. They consider this as normal since they are driven with an
abnormal urge to compete.
Psychology Today said
that these individuals have a survival mentality and may be jealous and
controlling. The basis for this is often a deep insecurity about having their
emotional needs met. They may have had parents who were critical, played
favorites, or were unavailable or inattentive to their emotional needs. This
model does not take into account the fact that humans are inherently social
beings and that connection and cooperation with larger social groups can increase
our personal and environmental resources.
In our social
encounters, you deal with a lot of people. And if ever you have a set of
strengths others appreciate, the jealous and envious ones will pull you down. They
are not comfortable with your winning moments and will find ways and means to
surpass you with their own so-called recognition.
If we need
recognition from others to feel good and we perceive that we don't get it, we
get frustrated. This frustration can then lead to negative emotion, rebellion
and, in some cases, ego driven childishness (Villani, 2013).
These people exist. We
could not help their presence since they might be placed in our areas for us to
strike a balance with ourselves. We could make them as an inevitable fact NOT
worthy of emulation. Since we have blind spots, we might as well check whether
we manifest the symptoms of being too ambitious like them or not. Striking a
balance in our lives leads us to inner serenity and happiness.
We won’t allow them
to take away our peace. Let them blame their parents for playing favorites and
we wage our own battles. We often win them if our intentions are geared towards
the common good. By doing so, even if we are not recognized, we are happy deep
within. We are content that we are blooming where we are planted.
If they muddle with
our efforts to be positive, allow them to be cooked with their envy. Let them
succeed with their superficial moments while we thrive in love and affection
with our family and loved ones.
Discovering that
having things has little to do with obtaining peace can be a lifelong
mission. There are some people in the
world that have more and some have less but as long as basic needs are met
there is no correlation with the accumulation of wealth, material possessions,
and peace. Nothing from the outside
seems to be able to bestow peace or contentment.
We nourish our beings
within.