Superficial

Bahala manlimbong basta daug! This is a concept being stood upon by people who are highly competitive that even if others see them as NOT deserving of the win, they do anything just be recognized. They do not consider waste of resources or hurt feelings since they are centered to the WIN. The problem with this mindset (or behavioral dysfunction) is that winning moments are fleeting. After the euphoria, another set of recognition is craved for... Unless the unhealthy ambition is confronted, the craving for recognition escalates to the point that their families and personal lives are affected.

Research studies suggest that there are different kinds of self-esteem. Some people may have a secure sense of self, regardless of the situation, whereas others may have unstable or fragile self-esteem that varies depending on their last accomplishment or whom they are able to impress. When they are doing well, they feel great and even superior to others, whereas when they encounter setbacks, they tend to feel shame and self-doubt. This results in anxiety and vigilance around social status and performance. They have to keep comparing themselves to others to make sure they are measuring up and haven't fallen behind (Greenberg, 2011).

This is the reason why these individuals see other people as their competitor. Since they are comparing themselves to others and they feel some sort of inadequacy of others’ successes, they often develop contempt towards the so-called competitor. They will even reach the point of putting others down through character assassination. They consider this as normal since they are driven with an abnormal urge to compete.

Psychology Today said that these individuals have a survival mentality and may be jealous and controlling. The basis for this is often a deep insecurity about having their emotional needs met. They may have had parents who were critical, played favorites, or were unavailable or inattentive to their emotional needs. This model does not take into account the fact that humans are inherently social beings and that connection and cooperation with larger social groups can increase our personal and environmental resources.

In our social encounters, you deal with a lot of people. And if ever you have a set of strengths others appreciate, the jealous and envious ones will pull you down. They are not comfortable with your winning moments and will find ways and means to surpass you with their own so-called recognition.

If we need recognition from others to feel good and we perceive that we don't get it, we get frustrated. This frustration can then lead to negative emotion, rebellion and, in some cases, ego driven childishness (Villani, 2013).

These people exist. We could not help their presence since they might be placed in our areas for us to strike a balance with ourselves. We could make them as an inevitable fact NOT worthy of emulation. Since we have blind spots, we might as well check whether we manifest the symptoms of being too ambitious like them or not. Striking a balance in our lives leads us to inner serenity and happiness.

We won’t allow them to take away our peace. Let them blame their parents for playing favorites and we wage our own battles. We often win them if our intentions are geared towards the common good. By doing so, even if we are not recognized, we are happy deep within. We are content that we are blooming where we are planted.

If they muddle with our efforts to be positive, allow them to be cooked with their envy. Let them succeed with their superficial moments while we thrive in love and affection with our family and loved ones.

Discovering that having things has little to do with obtaining peace can be a lifelong mission.  There are some people in the world that have more and some have less but as long as basic needs are met there is no correlation with the accumulation of wealth, material possessions, and peace.  Nothing from the outside seems to be able to bestow peace or contentment.

We nourish our beings within.

Rage

Who wouldn’t get bothered with real-life violence gone viral? Before, we could just hear things from secondhand information but with the influx of technological advancements, we see it materializing in front of our very eyes. We are then bombarded with one-sided comments, self-righteous ideas and others resort to the sick side of it all: gloating.

UNESCO reported currently that violent extremism is becoming a major challenge for many societies and is threatening the security and fundamental rights of citizens all over the world. Violent extremism is an affront to the principles of the United Nations, embodied in universal human rights and fundamental freedoms.

With the availability of violence on the internet, children are exposed to it to the point that it might become a norm. Parental intervention is considered but mobile phones are not the television sets before. Adults could not monitor their children every second of the day and most of the kids are stooped over their mobile gadgets most of their waking hours anytime, anywhere.

Another effect of the internet and other media is the “glamorized” stunts and confrontations. This is due to the available technology where special effects and production design are utilized to lure more customers to the products. Mistresses and the legal wives are exchanging stinging words in full make up and beautiful dresses. In the movies, the directors make sure that the stunts are visually-impressive and CGI (computer-generated images) are utilized to make the chase scenes and fistfights enjoyable.

So, the thin line between cinematic scenes and real-life drama is sometimes crossed. Take for example the one which is being ogled by the local community, the one where students in a local university display violence. These are some of the overheard quips:

·         “They are not that beautiful to create a fuss over something”. This might be an effect of the Wildflower confrontations where Maja Salvador and Aiko Melendez scream at each other and pull each other’s’ hair in full regalia.

·         “Isn’t the violent girl too fat?” Body shaming is existing since the ones who play roles in the teleseryes are either thin or went under the knife and laser.

·         “The kicking scene is clumsy, too bad!” Of course, Wonder Woman, The Girl in the Dragon Tattoo and the X-men gals display lithe and aesthetic movements when they fight.

·         “I could not see their faces!” This is as if the real-life violence requires professional cinematography!

These comments could be disturbing. First, violence is not normal. It is a by-product of either behavioral disorders or emotional instability. We could be angry but not violent. Then, people are involved and to feast over their misfortune could be skewed. They have their own lives to live and their families might get hurt. We could leave the authorities to do their tasks.

This is then the time to be aware. Adults and educators must provide academic input to their children and learners about how violence breeds hate and contempt. These are things which must NOT be taken lightly due to the fragility of the children’s minds. They might see these things as the trend or normal things to happen.

Children who witness domestic violence or are victims of abuse themselves are at serious risk for long-term physical and mental health problems. Children who witness violence between parents may also be at greater risk of being violent in their future relationships. (womenshealth.gov, 2018) Similarly, children who are exposed to violence online are at risk to be violent themselves according to psychologists.

But then, going back to the issue at hand, why should we glamorize something which is the antithesis of being PROPER?

The social media are platforms to be used as sources of information. There was even a comment that the inventor of Facebook might be unhappy these days despite his financial success. You see, he created the site TO CONNECT people. Now it is a tool of division, personal wars and sometimes, a portal of hate and violence.

We have to remember that Wonder Woman and other characters seen on film are fictitious characters…and We are real. We are human beings. We are human with beings.