Bad Manners and Wrong Conduct

Mayaot na mga batasan kuman ini mga batan-on! We often overhear these words from adults and even from teachers who could not understand why kids are doing things which are not aligned to the universal values. The discussion reached to the level of legislators which prompted them to “revive” GMRC or Good Manners and Right Conduct.

A bicameral conference committee approved the consolidated version of the proposed Comprehensive Values Education Act, which mandates that good manners and right conduct (GMRC) be taught as a subject in elementary and high schools. Senators and congressmen have consolidated provisions to strengthen the law on GMRC education for young people who will be required to take a mandatory GMRC subject under the K-12 curriculum.

Under Senate Bill (SB) 1224, values education, including GMRC, will be taught to elementary and senior high school students for an hour daily. In the case of kindergarten pupils, values education shall be integrated with their daily learning activities (philstar.com).

Manners, according to the Cambridge dictionary, are ways of behaving toward people, especially ways that are socially correct and show respect for their comfort and their feelings.

These, based on the observations among the young, are almost eradicated in their system manifested in the way they talk, move, dress up and deal with elders and the authority.

We seem to value personal freedom above the collective good or the need to live in harmony together. We should not be turned into a community that only cares about the freedoms of the individual – especially when these freedoms are used to disrespect others. Manners are ways of showing kindness and consideration. It is not how we eat or speak; it is about sharing, cooperation and respect to others.  Politeness is not something that our grandparents used to do to avoid the consequences of being "out of line" (Weldeyesus, 2019).

Ergo, we cannot tolerate that bad manners to thrive in our society since we all want to feel respected and valued as individuals. This, and other factors, might be the thing to allow us to complain about the younger generation’s show of indifference and their passive way of looking at the things that need attention (like throwing of trash anywhere).

But is it really the main role of the schools to teach good manners to the young or is this task part of the complex roles of parenting? This writer was trained how to eat properly by a strict mother and how the father instructed to greet politely every adult being encountered with courtesy! Placing their hands on the foreheads is even practiced up to the present!

Pauline Lysaght (2015) mentions that parents are typically a child’s first teachers. Initially, their focus is on helping very young children to communicate and, with age, to become increasingly independent, encouraging physical accomplishments such as walking and catching a ball, holding a cup and using cutlery. Parents are also instrumental in teaching a range of social skills, including taking turns, greeting others and remembering to say “please” and “thank you”. Parents are regarded as important role models in terms of the ensuing behavior of their children.

However, the expertise of teachers goes well beyond simply knowing which information to present to students. Good teachers understand how to pace their teaching to match the learning trajectory of their students and how to encourage their students to go beyond their current capacity and to fulfill their potential.

This is where teaching manners come in. Teachers understand how to plan for a content to be taught and how these could be manifest through performance. Once the learners understand and can perform the task related to the content, the mastery and development of competencies are considered.

But the “catching” or the mastery of manners must start at home, deepened in schools and the constant follow-through must be done again at home.

In today’s fast-paced, technology-driven society, teaching children manners is something that is more crucial than ever. One of the most important jobs we have as parents is to help our children develop social skills, show them how to interact in a polite manner with people, and teach them to treat others with respect (Lee, 2019).

But then again this potent question can be asked: Who made the environment of these kids? Why are they like that? We might as well revisit the selfish motives of the adults and our own indifference towards the use of these gadgets. You see, some of us are also coping up with this revolution. There are those who are glued on teleseryes about infidelity and are trying to learn how to TikTok. We even eat holding our phones as if we might miss something important.

There have been a variety of studies done on the effects of a young person's behavior and the influence of a "Very Important" non-parental adult (Beam, Chen, & Greenberger, 2002). There have also been studies done on how youth see significant people in their lives (Hendry, Roberts, Glendinning, & Colman, 1992). These studies support the important role of an adult in the life a young person.

We are the reflections of the young. We might as well revisit our own manners and right conduct.

No Read?

Madusmog kaw nan dako na A! This was the usual words teachers of our generation utter when one cannot read. We were then compelled to read the basic sight words and in Grade 2, this writer could read those words well without batting an eyelash.

Inquirer.net reported that more than 70,000 elementary students in Bicol cannot read in both English and Filipino, according to the Department of Education (DepEd), citing initial results of a 2019 study. Of this number, 18,143 are pupils in Grades 3 to 6, data released by Grace Rabelas, education supervisor for curriculum and learning management division of DepEd Bicol, showed.

Rabelas said the rest of what she called “nonreaders” were in Grades 1 to 2. The data were based on results of pretests administered by the Philippine Informal Reading Inventory (Phil-IRI) between July and August 2019, the report continued.

The news stirred the academic community which even prompted the secretary of education to have a press conference explaining the details of the data. She mentioned that the result did not say that interventions were nil. This was just the pre-test results and the DepEd is doing everything to raise the quality of learning via Sulong Edukalidad.

Before we proceed to our discourse on one’s inability to read, let us first know what good readers do. According to Beers (2003), good readers recognize that reading is done for a purpose, to get meaning, and that this involves the reader actively participating. They use a variety of comprehension strategies such as predicting, summarizing, questioning and visualizing the text. They make inferences about the text. They use prior knowledge about their lives and their world to inform their understanding of a text. They monitor their understanding of a text, identify what is challenging, and have strategies to improve their understanding. They evaluate their enjoyment of a text and why it did or did not appeal to them. They know many vocabulary words and how to use the context, word parts, and roots to help understand new words. They recognize most words automatically, read fluently, vary their reading rate, and “hear” the text as they read.

But do these indicators manifest even to our high school students? Result of the PISA (Program for International Student Assessment) revealed Filipino students ranked last among the 79 countries assessed for reading comprehension.

There are various factors that lead to reading failure, including impoverished exposure to language and early literacy activities, lack of adequate instruction, and/or more biologically based risk factors. While there are ongoing research efforts in all three areas, the most critical are: instruction and markers for at-risk readers (Cutting, 2018).

The K-12 curriculum dictates the standards and competencies for reading and comprehension. Yet there are other macro skills and strands for the learners to master since reading has this complex range to reach the level of arriving towards comprehension. In short the curriculum is jam-packed with other competencies that the teachers’ instructions are congested as well. There is a need to slim down the competencies and focus on the basics. This, too, is being considered by the department with the launching of the Sulong Edukalidad.

What about markers for at-risk readers? Cutting continued that poor phonological awareness, which can be tested long before children enter school, is one marker. Another concerning sign is if children are struggling with learning sound-symbol relationships when they begin to read. Finally, one of the best predictors we know of for future reading problems is if one or more relatives, particularly parents, struggled with reading themselves.

Family orientation is a great influence since how could the learners have these follow-up episodes when nary a trace of reading material can be found in their houses? We can still remember the times when the parents of the older generations invest on buying those humongous encyclopedias for their children’s reference and reading materials. Most of the parents these days are either influenced by what they see on social media or immature ones thriving on their own selfish needs than their children’s well-being.

Parent involvement in early literacy is directly connected to academic achievement. Children need parents to be their reading role models with daily practice in order to navigate successfully through beginning literacy skills (Evans, Shaw, Bell, 2000).

Educators and parents play key roles in reading. This skill is the backbone of one’s competence and literacy. What would happen to the world if people could not predict outcomes? Worse, what if no one can follow a simple direction?

Let us invest on the minds of the young. Let them devour the contents of the books we can buy, borrow or lend.

Misleading the Schools

Aber iton basta kay nagdawat nan sweldo! Although this phrase is not directly uttered, this can be read through the individual’s performance and actions in capital letters. When this happens, it is saddening to realize that the system will become jaded to the point that low performance will be the norm.

It is terrifying to realize that such entropy is happening in the educational system where school heads are delegating much of the work to the teachers who in return cannot perform their roles well due to overlapping functions.

Educational leaders play a pivotal role in affecting the climate, attitude and reputation of their schools. They are the cornerstone on which learning communities function and grow. With successful school leadership, schools become effective incubators of learning, places where students are not only educated but challenged, nurtured and encouraged.

On the other hand, according to Lathan (2018), poor or absent school leadership can undermine the goals of an educational system. When schools lack a strong foundation and direction, learning is compromised, and students suffer. According to a Wallace Foundation study, “Leadership is second only to classroom instruction as an influence on student learning.”

The way our learners are being gauged through the National Achievement Test and even the school’s mean percentage score show the input of school leaders and teachers. It could never happen that the output is NOT correlated to the input and processes.

University of San Diego posits these questions: what makes a successful school leader? How do you become truly effective as a principal or in a leadership position? While there is no one solution to successful school leadership, there are certain strategies, skills, traits and beliefs that many of the most effective school leaders share.

The school head must simply CARE. The I-don’t-care mentality is either a product of sloth or ignorance. Once a person receives his appointment as stated, s/he must directly understand the terms of reference and the job description. If it is beyond the individual’s capacity, the person seeks technical assistance to better his services.

Great leaders find the balance between foresight, performance, and character. They have vision, courage, integrity, humility and focus along with the ability to plan strategically and catalyze cooperation among their team (Tracy, 2017).

To many, leadership comes naturally and stems from an innate ability to take control of a situation and seek the best possible outcome for all parties involved. For others, it’s a special talent nurtured and grown every day.

So why do other school leaders do not manifest the aforementioned values and traits?

While it’s understandable that there are limits to what one leader can do, there is still room for excellence. If we take one thing and work on it until we’re satisfied it is now excellent, we’ve taken one step closer to overall excellence in our journey (Cummuta, 2017).

It doesn’t really matter so much what we choose to do in our lives, only how well we do it. Why not choose excellence?

According to Mars and Moses (2019), exercising leadership skillfully can mean simply asking the right question at the right moment in the right way. Alternatively, it can mean remaining silent at the right moment. Or it can mean giving your version of the “I Have a Dream” speech in front of thousands. Regardless of the scope, leadership entails inserting yourself in a way that can move a group in a new direction toward good. Usually such interventions require being an agent of change. And change inevitably means loss for some people. So those who exercise leadership will often encounter resistance. And to do that work skillfully, effectively, and with excellence, one must bring several qualities to bear.

Again, there is this discussion on commitment and having the right mindset. But then again it is needed for school leaders to be one step ahead of their teachers. It is dismaying to see that some of them grope on the writing of observation notes which is tantamount to instructional supervision.

The question would then mutate to: Are we hiring the right persons for the job?

The Blurred Side

Sige’g maoy. In preparing lessons, most of the teachers write the verb APPRECIATE when they want the learners to develop something on their affective side. As a school head, this writer often ask why is it difficult for the students to master the act of appreciation when in fact whole year round the teachers target for them to master it?

Appreciation is “an emotion that is typically evoked when one receives costly, unexpected, and intentionally rendered benefits, and is thought to play a key role in regulating the initiation and maintenance of social relationships” (Forster et al., 2017).

The word costly is then relative to the person defining it. An example is this, if one does not appreciate the gift of being alive, s/he will then resort to complain in the so-called misfortunes encountered along the way. But the grateful ones see them as challenges worthy to be faced and become leaning grounds.

Steve Taylor (2014) says that the taking for granted syndrome is clearly related to the phenomenon of adaptation, the process by which we quickly “get used to” new environments and situations. When we’re first exposed to new experiences and environments, they affect us powerfully. For example, the first few days in an unfamiliar foreign country, the first few days in a new job, or the first exposure to a new smell or taste. But these experiences and sensations quickly lose their sensory power as we become habituated to them. There almost seems to be a psychological mechanism of “desensitization,” which quickly filters out the intensity of experiences, turning newness to familiarity.

Then, we fall into the trap of taking things for granted.

With the exposure to information about the dismal events in the world, one’s mindset can be muddled with negativity. But if the mind is trained to dwell on the positive side, a different mindset which allows the person to take positive actions can be created.

So why is it that young people these days do not know HOW TO APPRECIATE? Most of them are only concerned on how to be famous; how to have relationships and how to create “Instagramable” moments. So what is the gap?

Even though gratitude has long been considered a powerful ingredient of health and well-being for both individuals and societies, no systematic attempt has ever been made to understand its development in youth. This is a gap that seriously hampers progress in the science of gratitude.

According to the Youth Gratitude Project (YGP), these questions must be asked by parents and educators:

What is the role of gratitude in positive youth development? What can the people with the greatest influence over children—parents; teachers, coaches, and others—do to foster gratitude in children? What school-based programs can promote sustainable increases in grateful character traits? Is there a critical period when the capacity for gratitude is best transmitted from an older to a younger generation? To what degree does gratitude predict positive outcomes such as school success, overall well-being, community service, resiliency, health behaviors, and less risk taking?

But do we care? Do parents transcend on their roles and leave the SELF behind to serve as a good parent to the kids? Do teachers perform things beyond the curriculum in humanizing the learners?

According to Froh, J. J., Emmons, et al. (2011), good parenting and teaching require these four main scopes in looking into the mindset of the young:

Create gratitude scales for children and adolescents; examine the development of gratitude in teens; examine the role of parental and social determinants of youth gratitude; conduct cross-cultural research on a school-based gratitude curriculum.

Embedded in an insecure age of growing through relentless developmental change, to see themselves so positively reflected in parental eyes can mean a lot: “I’m not just a bunch of problems after all; in a lot of ways, I'm OK.”

That is probably the biggest gap. Young people are left alone by the adults to venture the world they do not understand. Basically, the technological backdrop of their ecology is being created by the adults themselves. They are not guided to APPRECIATE simple things and they got overwhelmed by the world they see on the internet. They do not want to be left out that their priorities become twisted so to compete what they have observed on the virtual world.

Yes, we are the reflections of our kids. Did we manage to master APPRECIATION ourselves?