The Trouble with Lonely

Loneliness kills. If not, it would make one do things that could be considered as against the norms...

There was this guy in Arizona who would abduct children and hide them inside a basement. He would then look a them through a camera and record the movements of the kids. Once he would be bored by them, he will eliminate the subjects and dump them in the forest.

A woman who abhors to be left behind lured lovers and kept them. Once she could sense that the lover is drifting off from her, she will then kill him and place him inside the freezer in her garage. Once she will feel loneliness, she would open one freezer and get a cadaver and place it on her bed. She would embrace the dead until dawn and return it back to the freezer for future companionship...

Good thing we are not culturally designed like those aforementioned subjects. Filipinos are hard... but there are things that we also do in expressing our loneliness.

Sandra want someone to cling on. All her life, she experience being left alone. Her parents separated and left her at the care of her grandparents. She started feeling a sense of belonging when David got interested in her. They had sex and she realized that there's a greater need inside her to be filled. David is not enough. She must feel that someone needs her through Joshua, Kirk, Christian and even her teacher in Physics, Aldrich. She would feel a certain "wholeness" when she is having intercourse with the guys...

Reggie don't want to be alone. He could remember all the family conflicts he is into once he is by himself. He would then seek his friends who would drink their hurts away. When in the land of alcohol, he would feel different, even numbed with the emotional pain. He then develop the urge to drink every time he could sense that his inner self would like to confront his realities.

Marvin gambles. Whenever the reality that he is not as competent as the rest and not as endowed with wealth as the others, his insecurities escalate. That's the reason why he would try to escape from such thoughts and immerse himself in the intricate world of mendicancy. Here, he could also prove his worth... he needs to win! But after the gambling, he would then realize that another set of realities would pile up and that he needs to gamble more...

Yeah, we seldom kill others. But there are figurative killings with do with our loneliness. We end relationships, we destroy friendships, we sometimes focus more on our needs and not minding that there are others and we must co-exist.

Charity begins with oneself, we rationalize. It's true but when too many reasons are based on the self, that could be selfishness.

(Art: memecat.com)

Darkness Fell

Some asked you why long for trysts in the dark? Actually, you don't. You just have to. People around you seem to conceal the harsh realities. There are some who would rather talk about rainbows and flowers. They're beautiful alright. But what about the harsh realities we often conceal? What about the feelings we stifle so to deny the pain and what about those whose stories need to be told for us to do something? You see, a stand would be a good starting point towards a step, even a simple one...

When a weeping mother would say "I'm OK" even if she is nursing bruises due to domestic violence, we consider this as none of our business. It's a private thing, we like to assure ourselves with such reason. When we see a little child on the street so dirty and so hungry, we like diverting our eyes to the flowers. When we see our neighbor's kids smoking and flirting around with boys at midnight, we put more pillows near our ears and blame technology for having kids like these around.

Yeah, we don't have the time for these thoughts. We are so busy with our lives and we don't like to muddle with things which could not make us rich. We leave the church activities to the "poor" and bloat our egos with activities in the society like gatherings and social drinking and self-serving things like gambling... Money is using us to become worldly slaves.

We are allowing our society to eat on its own towards decay. When someone would tell us these, a lot would react and find retorts like: Who is he by the way? Why is he talking like that, as if he's perfect! That faggot!

It's sad to think that human nature is having a reverse evolution. These could be seen on our kids...

Dogs are territorial beasts, they like to mark their territory by peeing on the soil. Once another dog would come to his area, he would fight even to his death by simply not allowing someone to cross his territory. We see this attitude with the kids in Doyos and Baybay. Rocks would fly when someone would simply cross the border. Even if the priest would become hoarse with his sermons to stop such evil, we get distracted by trying to find the rainbow.

Whenever these things happen, we could not dare tell our children. They're better than us and we are too busy looking for our own pleasures. We find ways and means to buy moisturizers, straighten our hair and find effective astringents to whiten our skin...

That's the reason why it's good to have trysts in the dark and pull some things to the light. Even if the things there could hurt and turn one's stomach, he must visit such places.

We could start looking at our children and give them an avenue where darkness is present but not threatening. We have to be there for them. Our legacy could start within...

Come to the dark, let's have a tryst. Who knows we might find some things in there worth our efforts than simply existing.

Let's have a life.


(Art: dansemacabrenz.com)

Unsated

The id is the impulsive, child-like portion of the psyche that operates on the "pleasure principle" and only takes into account what it wants and disregards all consequences. - Freud (wikipedia.org)

She received her salary for the month. Forgetting about the bills piling up, she went to a nearby boutique and bought a blouse half the amount of her salary. She then went to the salon for a make-over. Her hair needs re-bonding... Then, with some money left in her purse, she went inside the grocer's and bought a large pouch of Doritos and 5 bars of Babe Ruth. She must taste such things which she was deprived of as a child...

Antonio's hands itched as he imagined the cellphone on his hand. Indeed, it would make him more "interesting" with that new model from LG. He hastily completed the form for his loan in a local bank. He won't mind the high interest of the loan as long as he could realize the look he would be projecting. He smiled as he pictured all eyes focusing on him with his new gadget.

When the toll for the dead at eight in the evening was announced by the church bells, Mokong smiled. He touched the strawberry-flavored condoms inside his pocket. and shivered at the thought of Lyka's breasts. He must prove his masculinity when the girl told him via text that "she is as delicious as crepe". He could not remember eating the food she related herself but he knew it must be yummy... His brother warned him about teen pregnancy but damn him, life is short!

The young child cried as he felt hunger. The mother continued with her story telling session with the neighbors. The child's cries intensified and the mother found a rubber slipper and hit the child's arms telling him to shut up. The child sobbed and started crawling to one corner of the house... He then noticed a dead cockroach and picked it.

The dead insect sounded crunchy inside the toddler's mouth. The little child smiled as he drooled.


(Artwork: supermankind.wordpress.com)

Winged

Perseus, the son of Zeus and Danae- a mere mortal, was shocked when he realized his fate. He had to save the people from the wrath of Poseidon by killing the monster that would swipe the mortals to death. He must get the snake-infested head of Medusa to turn the monster into stone. He should also do this to save the life of Andromeda who needed to be offered to the monster to save the rest of humanity... His father, to help him with such quest, gifted him the infamous Pegasus, the winged horse.

Let's not talk about the Greeks and mythology or even the outstanding remake of the classic flick "Clash of the Titans". Let us linger on reality.

Ironically, there is Pegasus where women seem to have wings. It's a night club in the national capital where Rosanna Roces acquired her irate culture. The girls would fly in mid-air sans their underwear. Others would take flight with the men (some are smelly old farts) with lots of dough and they would eventually perform sexual escapades that would put Medusa's power to shame.

But the most interesting creatures are the ones under the spell of Red Horse. According to the avid worshipers of this demigod, the horse would allow them to fly to different heights with their friends. They even divulged that the power of the horse would catapult them to a level of happiness that even Zeus would fail to comprehend.

Red Horse allegedly gives them the power of friendship. For them, it has the wings that would allow the group to venture on unknown grounds and uncharted horizons. The only thing to be considered is when its power would twist their minds into an intoxicated rage that would sometimes result to violence.

But with or without the gods and the demigods, cruelty and stupidity exist. Mere mortals are prone to the flaws like those who ridiculed Athena. The kingdom of Hades is more interesting for others than the grandeur and glory of Mount Olympus. There are times when light could hurt the eyes that others prefer the darkness...

Yeah, the sister of that god in the music scene, Janet Jackson is right:

"In complete darkness we are all the same, it is only our knowledge and wisdom that separate us..."

(Art: markmallet.com)

Electra and Oedipus

In Oedipus complex, a boy is fixated on his mother and competes with his father for maternal attention. The opposite, the attraction of a girl to her father and rivalry with her mother, is sometimes called the Electra complex. (Changing Minds.org)

"You could not be like her!" Siloy screamed to his girlfriend who tried to impress him with a local recipe called "ginisang kangkong" after she asked him if the food tasted fine. The girl was taken aback and started to look pale. Then, when shock subsided and anger surged, she held the plate and spilled the contents on his lap.

She stormed outside the house and cried like a baby,

Siloy then cleaned himself and went home. He went straight to where her mother who was stooped in the kitchen cooking her "sinigang na baboy". He kissed her and she smiled while saying: How lucky I am to have a son like you, after your father died... She fixed her attention to the potato she was peeling, filled with emotions...

Inside, Siloy smiled as he remembered how his father fell down the stairs with the toy cart he placed on the third step. He could hear the skull crunch as his father's head banged on concrete. He sat there watching as his father convulsed, his life ebbing... Mama's 100% attention would be mine, he smiled as his father stopped his contortions. He was only 10...

When she arrived at their house after her confrontation with Siloy, Trisha stormed to her room. Her mother asked her what was wrong and she just hissed. She banged the door and dumped herself on her humongous bed. She cried and dialed her father's number.

"Trisha? why are you calling? It's 11 pm here in Italy..."

"I want you to come home, I could not stand Mom... She's a bitch!"

"Trish, remember the reason why I went abroad? It's for your future!"

"Yeah, right, but what about my NOW?"

A shrill caterwauling sliced the stillness of the night. A cat delivered its litter a block away. Hidden by a trash bin, a hungry dog started to salivate... It started moving towards the squirming kittens. Dinner would be served.

(Artwork: beinart.org)

Numbed

What's the truth? We always tell ourselves and others that the truth shall set us free. But what about the realities we fail to acknowledge?

Aldrin wants to be in a quite place. He also needs his space but their meager house would not satisfy such need. They are 10 inside their humble abode. Most of his siblings and himself sleep on the floor. They would even utilize the floor as their dining area when eating time is going to be there...

His feelings could not be shared to his parents for they are always busy looking for food. He would just sulk on a corner and would wish to be somewhere else... How could his parents help him with his turbulent feelings when they would always be quarreling on things related to food and money?

He found refuge in Paul's friendship. He started going to their house and realized how "free" he could be with him. He even looked up to the lenient attitude of Paul's parents towards them.

Aldrin then experienced his first bliss when Paul cajoled him to taste pot. He could sense that all the problems in him would be numbed when he will be in a smoke-induced state. He would sit for hours under the spell of the pot and imagine happy scenes...

After a year, he started to notice that his sleep, even his waking hours are being hounded by fleeting twisted images. He would jolt on his seat or jerk out of slumber land. Lately, he sometimes scream...

Now, he thinks that these monstrous flashes would end once he could inflict some kind of pain to his parents. He really hates it when he would realize that even the dark circles around his eyes are left unnoticed by them.

Or... he could stab someone with his knife tonight to stop the raging emotions inside. They need to be stifled by transference.

Most of the time, he would feel envy when a classmate will laugh.

(Art: Darwin G. Tan)

Flushed

Darkness could deceive. There are secrets in there which could never be brought to the light. It would sometimes make one's sanity disintegrate. Better keep them as secrets than cause breaking others' equilibrium...

Hers is beyond her comprehension. She was a happy kid and being loved by the siblings and her parents. Her father would kiss her and embrace her with all the love and affection...

Clouds started to become gray when her mother went abroad to find "milk and honey". Her father started making the bottle as his lover. He would slur and slurp her cheeks when he would kiss her. At 10, she started smelling something evil when his father's hand landed on her underdeveloped breasts one night after his drinking spree...

Pain, both physical and emotional, seared her whole being when he entered her at 11. She cried and he shushed her by telling her it was OK. He loved her so much and the copulation was an expression of his love. She believed him. He was her father, anyway...

The abuse continued until she reached 15. It was when she saw that girl on TV reporting to the authorities about her sufferings when she realized that her secret must be divulged to unload her feelings. She saw a friend in Jasper. Crying, she told him how painful it was for her to be the sex slave of his father.

Jasper, with a smirk, told her to be in control. He told her that she would enjoy the deed if she is the one to choose who, when and where to have sex. The idea excited her and she chose Jasper to be her partner... Indeed, she felt a certain power with Jasper, then Kim and Robert... and more.

She got pregnant and sought the help of Jasper. The guy accompanied her to a quack and she drank a cupful of greenish potion which sliced her throat down to her stomach. Three months pregnant, she bled inside a restroom until some lump of flesh went out of her...

Jasper and her, flushed the fetus down the toilet's tank...

Indeed, everything starts in the family.

(Photo Copyright: F.Cos)