Thriving on the Margins

Matinamajon. We often hear people belittle others to the point that one could wonder whether the one displacing the comment is a superhero in the making. We cringe on the thought of being criticized much more being labeled into something we are not. We dislike hearing people looking into us as if we are specimens of an experiment. Yet there are those individuals amongst the society who thrive in to this act. They act superior to us. They see us as lesser beings. Their world is so perfect it seems that we do not belong in it.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines belittling as an act of making an action or a person seem unimportant. Brown (2013) said that belittling is the intentional act of making another feel worthless, empty, and dismissed.  It is one of many forms of psychological and emotional abuse.  Belittling another often creates a personal emptiness and void.  It can create a sense of loneliness and despair in the lives of many.

But why do others dwell on this act? Is it a crutch since they themselves are deprived of something that there is a need to fortify the weakness inside him/her?

Some people, really want to be on the top, they believe that they are powerful enough to lead, and take the top most position in this ladder. Some, even if they are not all that powerful and dominant, have come up with an excuse for why they should be on the top. This is nothing but a motive to re-assert their social status, often born out of jealousy and greed. These also has other roots. These people are willing to do anything to make themselves appear better than yourself. They usually: 1)Make the smallest of your mistakes a huge event; 2)Try to prove others are wrong, even if it is the mundane thing; 3)Always try to assert their false status…Soon, they have this feeling of entitlement to their pseudo-position (Manivannan, 2016).

Those who bring you down are either unhappy or find prejudice as an avenue for them to feel important and being noticed. Most of the insecure people tend to judge others and their work so that others’ attention will be diverted to them rather than the one being appreciated. They always see something wrong with the persons and the outputs they are able to create. And since they do not have the capacity to do such, they will then resort to belittling the person or his/her creation.

According to Evans (2017): There are lots of different kinds of people who bring you down. On one extreme is the very gruff person with an obvious chip on her shoulder, and when she comes in the room, she makes no bones about the fact that she is going to put you down or invalidate your ideas. You have no doubt who those people are.

On the other extreme, you have people who are very polite and gracious. And yet, after talking with them, somehow you're aware of your faults and shortcomings, your limitations, the misery or danger of everything, etc. These people may compliment you and smile and do all the other stuff you associate with a friend, and yet somehow you feel bad after being with him or her.

That’s why, choose! We have the power in our hands to filter whom to affiliate with and whom to discard in our lives. Our existence in this world is fleeting and it is not good to fill it with painful experiences because of the ailments of others. It is their responsibility to make their minds healthy especially if they are already adults. Also, education is within our reach these days. If they choose NOT to understand themselves through self-help books and educational feedback, let them be. Their pathetic world must not muddle with ours!

Belittling words will fight for control of your subconscious. Don’t let them win. Once you’ve fully processed the words you heard, it’s time to counteract them. No matter what the words were, whether they diminished your intelligence, capabilities, profession, age, gender, sexual preference, etc., you can find evidence in your life that proves them wrong. Take the time to gather that evidence.

Humans are biased towards negativity. It’s so easy to believe the mean things we hear, it’s far more difficult to believe the good. So you have to fight for your thoughts. Fight for your subconscious and make losing not an option (strongsensitivesouls.com, 2018).

In the end, their pitiful existence and judgmental words might just be mere dust on our shoulders. All we need to do is brush them off and continue with our quest to make our imperfections matter.