Shrinking

Yay boot! This will be heard when someone gets irritated with another person of the right age and performs immature acts. There are instances when physical growth is already obvious but the emotional capability of the person is still that of an adolescent. People might see you as old enough yet the actions and reactions to stimuli are that of a simpleton.

Maturation (according to alleydog.com) is the process of learning to cope and react in an emotionally appropriate way. It does not necessarily happen along with aging or physical growth, but is a part of growth and development. A situation a person must deal with at a young age prepares them for the next and so on into adulthood. Maturation does not stop when physical growth ends - it continues through adulthood.

But there are also instances when maturation is hampered or even curtailed. Pikunas (2010) mentioned that the sequential changes that occur in human personality and behavior include not only the unfolding and perfection of different dimensions but also the gradual deterioration of those dimensions. Thus, intellectual development encompasses both its emergence and perfection in the years of childhood and adolescence, and its gradual impairment in the late years of life. In order to understand personality and behavior, therefore, it is essential to trace the sequence of changes that occur in childhood and adolescence and also in the adult and later years of life. The significance of these later periods is great because the percentage of persons in this population group, as well as their influence on society, is growing at a considerable rate.

Again, we trace the importance of childhood as a formative phase since most of the things we do as an adult are either the good products of our being a child or the deficits we have during those days.

People who have fond memories of childhood, specifically their relationships with their parents, tend to have better health, less depression and fewer chronic illnesses as older adults, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.

Recent research suggests that the role of other people and how children feel can be more important than the events. Getting things a child wants, academic issues, or failing to make a sports team are not strongly related to the adult perspective of childhood happiness. It is feeling loved by parents that makes the most influential contribution to childhood happiness. As adults, we no longer feel that the number of toys, sports trophies, or top grades we received as children were as important as we thought. What is important to us as adults is knowing that we shared joys and sorrows, successes and disappointments with people who loved us. Long after our memories of toys, gifts, test scores have faded, the feelings of trust, comfort, reassurance, and love remain (Batcho, 2012).

With our encounters with people in the workplace who manifest immaturity, we could directly infer that they do not have good experiences and relationships with their parents. Their anger, irritation, envy, jealousy and other negative acts stem from the lack of affection and attention they receive from their parents. Yet, it seems that such mistakes are ours since they will then attack our weaknesses by their so-called “power” and try to gain what they did not have during the times when they were young! What a pathetic way of doing things!

If the person refuses to act properly and continually causes problems for you, ignore them. They can’t act childishly in your presence if they aren’t allowed in it. People that you may need to see more frequently, however, are difficult to ignore. If a co-worker or a family member is the one who is immature, try to stay away from them as much as possible and keep the encounters that you do have brief. If you need to be around them for extended periods of time, find another person to keep you occupied so that you can prevent them from talking to you. They will eventually get the message that their behavior is no longer welcome in your life (Buckley, 2017).

The world is full of happiness and wondrous experiences. These immature persons could ruin such wonderful things to happen. Do not allow them to take away your peace and let them wallow with their pathetic lives. It is not your fault that they were deprived of joy and exciting childhood. Let them repair themselves. Their health and well-being are their responsibilities.

The truth is, this isn't your battle to fight — if the person is not willing to recognize his behavior and take steps to change it, there is little you can do. It may be particularly difficult for an emotionally immature person to realize he needs to change, as a hallmark of emotional immaturity is blaming other people or circumstances for one's bad behavior (Griffin, 2018).

The author continued that if the person won’t see reason or won't go away, you may need to be slightly confrontational and tell him that you cannot engage with him any further. Gather up all your courage and politely ask him to leave you alone, while simultaneously removing yourself from the caustic environment.

We deserve to be happy. If we are doing our work well, we will not allow others to destroy our spirits to continue doing what we maturely think as right and proper. We will not let someone destroy our credibility because he/she is nursing on his/her sanity.

We continue to check on our mental health through reflection and introspection. These may help us deal with our inner demons and become a better colleague.

User

Sobra na ambisyon… It is good to dream. You see, in there we could be anyone. We could even fly. But when we are wide awake, we can draw the line between what is true and what is not. When our eyes are open, we see the truths around us. But there are some of us who keep seeing things differently even if their eyes are open.

One of the most inspiring lines in cinema history had to be "My ambition far exceeds my talents," said by Johnny Depp's character George Chung (Blow). This could be seen in a different way but, really, ambition sometimes overpowers a person’s capacity in doing things.

Ambition derives from the Latin ambitio, ‘a going around (to solicit votes)’, and, by extension, ‘a striving for honor, recognition, and preferment’. It can be defined as a striving for some kind of achievement or distinction, and involves, first, the desire for achievement, and, second, the motivation and determination to strive for its attainment even in the face of adversity and failure (Burton, 2014).

To have such mindset could be good since we will be pushed to a certain direction if we have some sort of a driving force. Even with the encounters of failure and difficulties along the way, one can continue to stand when fallen and strive to reach the desired destination.

But ambitions must be attained for the benefit of self-development which could then be translated to service and for the good of the family and the majority. When the ambition to become better for the benefit of the self alone (or only for the immediate family), we must be alarmed of selfishness and being clannish to overpower our capacity to be ONE with others – the majority.

There’s another way to see ambition: when someone is overly ambitious or not ambitious enough. If you aren’t ambitious enough, you’re simply settling with your current reality. It’ll be difficult for you to evolve or grow. If you’re overly ambitious, you might do unscrupulous things. You might decide to go for what you want no matter the cost (exploringthemind.com, 2018).

The article continued that at the other end of the spectrum is greed. Greed is all about boundless desire and coveting success and fame. Greed is like a bottomless pit because what the ambitious ones have never seems to be enough. They always want more and more. If they’re greedy, they’ll never be satisfied. Greed is a toxic feeling. It drags one to hell and takes down those around him/her as well. Greed won’t stop for anything. Greedy people believe that the ends justify the means. The most important thing is to get more and more. It doesn’t matter what they have to do to get it.

That’s the reason why in the workplace, you often feel “used” by these overly-ambitious people who are only good when they need your talents and resources. They are not actually befriending you for the sole purpose of friendliness. They just come to you because they can benefit from you. Once, you are NOT useful, they do not even acknowledge your presence. For them, you are now a non-entity.

For a study published in 2014 in Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, researchers at the University of California in Berkeley evaluated feelings of self-worth — inflated and deflated — as well as the motivation to pursue power in more than 600 young men and women. What they found was a link between those feelings and motivations and mental illnesses, including depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and narcissistic personality disorder. Sheri Johnson, PhD, a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and a senior author of the study, wrote that “people prone to depression or anxiety reported feeling little sense of pride in their accomplishments and little sense of power.”

That is why those who are overly-ambitious often create a lot of trouble among their companions since they have a defect in the mental state.

The treatment of mental illness has long been held back by the sense that disorders of emotion, thinking, and behavior somehow lack legitimacy and instead reflect individual weakness or poor life choices (Campo, 2017).

There is indeed a need for the Mental Health Law take effect as soon as possible. The organizations must also be aware of a great loss in resources if unhealthy people (especially those who are overly ambitious) thrive inside the offices.

Training and development won’t even have an impact to the sick mind. Whoever and whatever will train the sick mind, symptoms continue to be present and a vicious cycle of trouble with them happens.

Judas, Is It You?

Kristyano kuno…In the gospel of John in line with Maundy Thursday, Jesus said this after washing the disciples’ feet: “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Master and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I, then your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, you also must wash one another’s feet. I have given you an example, that as I have done, you also may do. Thus, the concept of servant leadership was borne out of the traditional “imposing and authoritative” type of leading people.

But in reality, there are still those so-called leaders in our midst who want to be pampered and vowed as if they are major deities or gods of sorts. They raise their voices to us and command as if we are the slaves of their kingdom.

While servant leadership is a timeless concept, the phrase “servant leadership” was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in The Servant as Leader, an essay that he first published in 1970. In that essay, Greenleaf said:

“The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.

With the advancement in Psychology, it is later scientifically studied and diagnosed that there are balanced mental states and the other is of course, the sick mind.

A servant-leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong. While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the “top of the pyramid,” servant leadership is different. The servant-leader shares power, puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.

Pathological narcissism can be characterized by (1) entitlement, (2) vindictiveness, (3) unaccountability, and (4) lack of empathy, can we draw parallels to the autocratic leadership style, characterized by (1) unilateral power, (2) suppression of dissent, (3) lawlessness, and (4) exploitation of the masses? This was a question being studied by Benjamin Jurney of Columbia University (2018).

This was then qualified by Mahesh Kumar of Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology: Narcissistic leaders often express prideful and self-aggrandizing styles of leadership behavior; whether such leadership is related to authoritarian leadership. Because narcissistic leaders are excessively concerned with themselves, the control of power, and the neglect of others, they would use authoritarian methods to stabilize their own power in order to control subordinates or dominate the management of the organization, requiring employees to submit without reservation.

So where do we place those people who proclaims that they are followers of Christ when in fact they are the ones oppressing people under their supervision?

“Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of His (Romans 8:9).” There it is as plain as can be! There— from the Bible—is God’s definition of a Christian! If one does not have, possess, and follow the Holy Spirit of God, he is not a Bible-defined Christian no matter what he says, how he acts, or what he teaches (Church of God International,2001).

Marrying the psychological aspects and the biblical definition, there must be a strong effort of an individual to know and understand his or her inner person. We could not just allow ourselves to claim that we are Christians yet we are oppressing people. We could not claim that we are servants when in fact we want others to serve US.

If you’re a leader, don’t just settle the question of IF you’ll serve others. Figure out HOW you will, and then go do it. By being a servant leader, you’ll have the joy of seeing positive outcomes and great growth in your people. It will be worth the effort (Maxwell, 2015).

The cgi.org continues: We should never be false or defeated Christians. Even if everyone around you seems hypocritical—or even if no one else around you is a Christian—you need to be a real Christian. That is our calling. You should be a Christian because God created you to contain Him, to be one with Him, and to express Him.

Then, if what you contain in your heart are bad intentions, envy, hatred, anger and inferiority, you are probably containing SOMETHING ELSE rather than God!

Behind the Rituals

Relihiyosa pero… Have you observed those who have schizophrenic personalities? They put up an image of being religious yet their actions and deeds speak otherwise. They do not understand that being spiritual is not just a façade. It is about a deeper understanding of one’s being to be an instrument of peace and love. Yet, once they go out of their church, they could become the hideous villain for others!

Being spiritual according to Dr. Margaret Paul (2007) is synonymous with being a person whose highest priority is to be loving to himself and others. A spiritual person cares about people, animals and the planet, and strives to be a kind person. A spiritual person knows that we are all One, and consciously attempts to honor this Oneness.

In this case, being spiritual is that longing for inner peace; when one’s conscience and intentions are geared towards the common good. It is not the number of times he/she goes to church but for who the inner person is.

When evaluating how “religious” someone is, social scientists and the general public tend to rely on the frequency of religious activities, strength or type of religious beliefs, relative importance of religion in one’s life, or some average of these aspects of religious life (Denton, 2011).

Therefore, there are those people who frequently go to church and perform church rituals yet he or she is not spiritually clean. Being religious then is not an assurance of being “spiritual”.

For many, religion is ritual oriented rather than value oriented. By performing certain rituals and maintaining certain appearances they think they are religious. For many others, religion is a source of values rather than rituals. Rituals serve a sense of community and identity and often become mechanical exercises and hardly inspire any inner change (Ashgar Ali, 2010).

It is in these perceptions when we could infer that it would take an intellectual mindset to become highly functional. Religion could then be viewed and practiced to make the spirit richer and cleaner. If the rituals and community gatherings allow the person to steer his or her intentions towards the common good, then being religious is now merged with the longing and WILLINGNESS to be spiritual.

Psychology Today mentions that psychological research has tended to find that believing in WILL can be beneficial for mental health, and that reducing feelings of self-determination can make people more aggressive and less helpful. As long as individuals remain aware that many factors can influence behavior subconsciously, it may be healthier to think they have control over their destinies.

So, is this now another issue on mental well-being to create a front of being religious yet unclean thoughts and deeds manifest in the person?

Seltzer (2013) mentions that the recently published 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) lists precisely the same nine criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as did the previous version, published 19 years earlier. So these longstanding diagnostic yardsticks are by now quite familiar—not only to professionals but to interested laypeople as well. Because only the extreme, or “classic,” narcissist fits all of these criteria, DSM specifies that an individual need meet only five of them (barely more than half) to warrant this unflattering label.

According to the article, here are the nine criteria of NPD:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).

4. Requires excessive admiration [regularly fishes for compliments, and is highly susceptible to flattery].

5. Has a sense of entitlement.

6. Is interpersonally exploitative.

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling [or, I would add, unable] to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty [rude and abusive] behaviors or attitudes.

Since their presence in church activities heightens “admiration” from others yet they show arrogant, rude and abusive behaviors, they could never be called spiritually sound.

They are actually SICK!

You're Plastic!

Pinta kalipa! When one is poor, things inside sachets seem to be the answer to have necessities at hand. Products inside small packages are more affordable than the ones inside bottles and canisters.

Sachet packaging, normally made of a thin film of plastic and aluminum in a sandwich laminate form, has captured many of the poor market segments and has allowed multinationals to gain market share and profit. It has also allowed the poor to enjoy quality products such as shampoos, toothpastes, lotions, condiments, even ready-to-eat food and drinking water from these global giants, products which were previously not viable with normal bottle and container packaging (Posadas, 2014).

Imagine the number of people who take a bath daily using shampoo in sachets! Do a simple Math and think about the mound of trash these things could give.

Posadas continues: In the Philippines for example, the Asian Development Bank and the Department of Environment and Natural Resources jointly project that if current trends continue, the country will need 200 new landfills the size of a current Manila landfill by the year 2020. Estimates vary, but the factor of 0.7kg per person in the metropolitan Manila area is being used, with a daily output of roughly 22,000 tons per day of municipal garbage expected to grow to 28,000 tons per day in 10 years' time.

Whenever there is a large gathering of people, one could see mound of plastic containers and wrappers thrown irresponsibly. The ordinances linked to RA 9003 (Ecological Solid Waste Management Act) seem to be policies made futile. Legislation with no teeth and less education will often turn them to flops.

Is there a correlation between the use of sachets and the economic status of a population?

The nextbillion.net says, small package sizes translate in lower costs per purchase and less “capital” bound in the storage rooms of poor households. With households struggling to manage their cash flow on a daily basis, these factors could make sachets attractive for poor customers, allowing them to purchase quality products normally out of reach.

Legislators might also consider the regulations on the use of these non-biodegradable since the majority of Filipinos are not rich enough to afford stuff in big containers. Here is a study conducted to a multinational:

In the Philippines, they (sachet packaging) turned out to be the answer to increasing rural sales of the company’s Rexona deodorant.  Unilever faced a tough challenge: Only half of Filipinos buy deodorant regularly, and standard package sizes were too pricey for rural consumers. To lower the price, the company first tried a small size of Rexona in stick form. The ministicks cost 35 cents, but that was not cheap enough for rural consumers. Then Unilever developed a cream version in a single-use-sized packet that cost about 10 cents (Manajan, 2016).

It could be remembered the scenario of “sari-sari” stores in the eighties where food and other stuff are placed inside preserving jars and will be wrapped with old newspapers when bought. There were no shampoo in sachets; no condiments in small plastic containers. We bring “lapad” or “lipig” when we buy cooking oil or soy sauce. Soda was sold in bottles not in “mismo” and “sakto” style.

But now, everything is placed in plastic containers. Even if we buy three pieces of onions in the market, they will be contained in those small plastic pouches.

According to Sarmiento (2018), Freedom Island is drowning in garbage. The last coastal frontier in the Philippine capital provides refuge to migratory birds and a thick mangrove forest there serves as a natural typhoon barrier for millions of city dwellers. Yet empty plastic water and soda bottles protrude from the sand, tattered clothes and plastic sheets hang over mangrove branches, and heaps of shampoo, toothpaste and soy sauce sachets litter the coastline.

But what are these telling us? There is a need to be aware of what we are consuming. If we shy away from patronizing the sachet industry and go back to the basics, we could be freed from the looming threat to our environment. The law of supply and demand tells us to think deeper.

If we enjoy the convenience these plastic sachets are giving, we must be responsible enough on how to dispose them. Or, we could start educating the people around us.

When you go inside a grocery store, think about the trash these colorful products could give!