For the Many

No choice na! Words most of us utter when we are faced with a situation when we reached a certain dead-end of options. Yet there are those who use this as an expression which a progressive mind often repels. You have a choice. The world is full of choices. You could innovate or redefine your standards. We also do compromise.

The word compromise according to Peterson (2012) is used in two different senses, one typically positive and the other typically negative. The good sense of compromise is finding a common ground with another person, as in reaching a mutual agreement about a difficult course of action affecting both of you. The bad sense is being untrue to your core values and beliefs, as in selling out to achieve some short-term goal.

The second one, most of time, would be counterproductive since it will eventually erode the foundation of a person or an organization. This would also define the person in terms of deciding the best for him/herself or for others.

In today’s scene, it is a bit hard to keep up with who believes what, and who is living their beliefs. “Walking the talk” and “Doing what I do, not what I say” seem to have become trite phrases that are discounted. You don’t have to look far to see that much hypocrisy abounds. What is hypocrisy? According to Dictionary.com, it is “the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform; pretense. (Flaxington, 2018)”.

It is the pressing issue we have among our leaders. There must be a strong one whose heart is rooted to make the common good be materialized. But with the deficits of the families and the educational system, the in-breeding of children seem to be on the skewed area. Adults thrive on selfish intentions and the web it created in the society is so intricate to align to the welfare of the majority.

The common good is a notion that originated over two thousand years ago in the writings of Plato, Aristotle, and Cicero. More recently, the ethicist John Rawls defined the common good as "certain general conditions that are...equally to everyone's advantage".

The common good, then, consists primarily of having the social systems, institutions, and environments on which we all depend work in a manner that benefits all people. Examples of particular common goods or parts of the common good include an accessible and affordable public health care system, functional education, an effective system of public safety and security… Because such systems, institutions, and environments have such a powerful impact on the well-being of members of a society, it is no surprise that virtually every social problem in one way or another is linked to how well these systems and institutions are functioning (Velasquez, Andre, et.al., 2017).

There is indeed a great need to function well and align our roles to the greater whole. People who have this mindset have reached the level of actualization that they are now making their needs as the stepping stones in attaining the welfare of the many. Those who got sick or being bound by their deficits continue to hoard things and accolades for themselves.

Choice theory is the study of how decisions get made. The term was coined in a book of the same name by William Glasser, who argued that all choices are made to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.

Underlying these basic ways of thinking about, according to Ye (2017) is the assumption we truly understand our preferences and how to weigh them against each other. But what happens when freedom conflicts with power? How do you choose when two options will provide you with equal amounts of fun?

One thing to keep in mind is the importance of others as well as the self. This could lead the person to decide well not just to arrive to an escapist way of saying: No choice na!

In a knowledge-based economy . . . a knowledge worker’s primary deliverable is a good decision. In addition, more and more people are being tasked with making decisions that are likely to be biased because of the presence of too much information, time pressure, simultaneous choice, or some other constraint – Eric Wargo.

Filling the Void

Bahala sila! These words are uttered mostly by those who do not have a care in the world to what may happen to others. The lack of empathy is one of the scariest things to happen to a person since s/he will be incapable of loving when the heart is devoid of the ability to care.

Empathy is a broad concept that refers to the cognitive and emotional reactions of an individual to the observed experiences of another. Having empathy increases the likelihood of helping others and showing compassion. According to the Greater Good Science Center: “It is also a key ingredient of successful relationships because it helps us understand the perspectives, needs, and intentions of others.”

When selfish intentions overpower, the ability to feel and understand others diminishes since the main focus of the person is now the self. Despite the abundance of resources, others are incapable of helping people since generosity is inconsistent to being self-centered.

All of us have dreams and goals but some of us believe that they might not be able to reach them and that’s why they save all of their resources to themselves just to ease some of the insecurity they are feeling. Lots of selfish people have big unmet needs which make them feel insecure and the result is being afraid to give anything away not to remind themselves of their lack of control over their lives (Radwan, 2018).

According to Streep (2017), empathy is the bedrock of intimacy and close connection; in its absence, relationships remain emotionally shallow, defined largely by mutual interests or shared activities.

This is the reason why friendships and romantic relationships shatter because of the lack of connection. When one party is going to be the vampire, the one who sucks all the energy of the partner or friends, the other end would let go and disconnect themselves for self-preservation.

In families, how many parents “feel” for their children? There are those who even see them as accidents. That is one of the reasons why the kids become bullies since they try to make bullying as a crutch for their inadequacies. In child-friendly schools, school leaders and teachers often see these young people as victims as well. Who or what made them? These acts of selfishness are counterproductive indeed. It creates a vicious cycle of indifference and even violence.

There are teachers as well whose extrinsic motivations prevail. They only work for the financial rewards and see their learners as their JOBS. They just let their day pass without thinking if the learner is humanized by the lessons s/he haphazardly presented.

And what about those government workers who shout at their clients; the legislators and elected officials who do not even understand that the voice of the constituents must be heard? They must transcend their personal wants and consider others since they vow to be public servants.

Not surprisingly, according to Psychology Today, the extent of your own emotional intelligence—your ability to know what you’re feeling, to accurately label and name different emotions with precision, and to use your emotions to inform your thinking—will make it easier or harder for you to be empathic. The more connected you are to your own emotions, the greater your ability to feel for others.

Discourses like these often lead back to self-knowledge through introspection. By having a keen understanding of the self, the person could now journey to others since s/he already journeyed to the SELF.

We must care. The sole purpose of living is not just to satisfy the SELF but to serve others. The family could be the so-called OTHERS but there is a larger family outside the home. We now understand that selfishness is now seen if you are only capable of caring for your family and “clan”. Empathy is pervasive.

Every day, people serve their neighbors and our nation in many different ways, from helping a child learn and easing the loneliness of those without a family to defending our freedom overseas. It is in this spirit of dedication to others and to our country that I believe service should be broadly and deeply encouraged -John McCain.