Filling the Void

Bahala sila! These words are uttered mostly by those who do not have a care in the world to what may happen to others. The lack of empathy is one of the scariest things to happen to a person since s/he will be incapable of loving when the heart is devoid of the ability to care.

Empathy is a broad concept that refers to the cognitive and emotional reactions of an individual to the observed experiences of another. Having empathy increases the likelihood of helping others and showing compassion. According to the Greater Good Science Center: “It is also a key ingredient of successful relationships because it helps us understand the perspectives, needs, and intentions of others.”

When selfish intentions overpower, the ability to feel and understand others diminishes since the main focus of the person is now the self. Despite the abundance of resources, others are incapable of helping people since generosity is inconsistent to being self-centered.

All of us have dreams and goals but some of us believe that they might not be able to reach them and that’s why they save all of their resources to themselves just to ease some of the insecurity they are feeling. Lots of selfish people have big unmet needs which make them feel insecure and the result is being afraid to give anything away not to remind themselves of their lack of control over their lives (Radwan, 2018).

According to Streep (2017), empathy is the bedrock of intimacy and close connection; in its absence, relationships remain emotionally shallow, defined largely by mutual interests or shared activities.

This is the reason why friendships and romantic relationships shatter because of the lack of connection. When one party is going to be the vampire, the one who sucks all the energy of the partner or friends, the other end would let go and disconnect themselves for self-preservation.

In families, how many parents “feel” for their children? There are those who even see them as accidents. That is one of the reasons why the kids become bullies since they try to make bullying as a crutch for their inadequacies. In child-friendly schools, school leaders and teachers often see these young people as victims as well. Who or what made them? These acts of selfishness are counterproductive indeed. It creates a vicious cycle of indifference and even violence.

There are teachers as well whose extrinsic motivations prevail. They only work for the financial rewards and see their learners as their JOBS. They just let their day pass without thinking if the learner is humanized by the lessons s/he haphazardly presented.

And what about those government workers who shout at their clients; the legislators and elected officials who do not even understand that the voice of the constituents must be heard? They must transcend their personal wants and consider others since they vow to be public servants.

Not surprisingly, according to Psychology Today, the extent of your own emotional intelligence—your ability to know what you’re feeling, to accurately label and name different emotions with precision, and to use your emotions to inform your thinking—will make it easier or harder for you to be empathic. The more connected you are to your own emotions, the greater your ability to feel for others.

Discourses like these often lead back to self-knowledge through introspection. By having a keen understanding of the self, the person could now journey to others since s/he already journeyed to the SELF.

We must care. The sole purpose of living is not just to satisfy the SELF but to serve others. The family could be the so-called OTHERS but there is a larger family outside the home. We now understand that selfishness is now seen if you are only capable of caring for your family and “clan”. Empathy is pervasive.

Every day, people serve their neighbors and our nation in many different ways, from helping a child learn and easing the loneliness of those without a family to defending our freedom overseas. It is in this spirit of dedication to others and to our country that I believe service should be broadly and deeply encouraged -John McCain.