Bahala sila!
These words are uttered mostly by those who do not have a care in the world to
what may happen to others. The lack of empathy is one of the scariest things to
happen to a person since s/he will be incapable of loving when the heart is
devoid of the ability to care.
Empathy is a broad concept
that refers to the cognitive and emotional reactions of an individual to the
observed experiences of another. Having empathy increases the likelihood of
helping others and showing compassion. According to the Greater Good Science
Center: “It is also a key ingredient of successful relationships because it
helps us understand the perspectives, needs, and intentions of others.”
When selfish intentions
overpower, the ability to feel and understand others diminishes since the main
focus of the person is now the self. Despite the abundance of resources, others
are incapable of helping people since generosity is inconsistent to being
self-centered.
All of us have dreams and
goals but some of us believe that they might not be able to reach them and
that’s why they save all of their resources to themselves just to ease some of
the insecurity they are feeling. Lots of selfish people have big unmet needs
which make them feel insecure and the result is being afraid to give anything
away not to remind themselves of their lack of control over their lives
(Radwan, 2018).
According to Streep (2017),
empathy is the bedrock of intimacy and close connection; in its absence,
relationships remain emotionally shallow, defined largely by mutual interests
or shared activities.
This is the reason why
friendships and romantic relationships shatter because of the lack of
connection. When one party is going to be the vampire, the one who sucks all
the energy of the partner or friends, the other end would let go and disconnect
themselves for self-preservation.
In families, how many
parents “feel” for their children? There are those who even see them as
accidents. That is one of the reasons why the kids become bullies since they
try to make bullying as a crutch for their inadequacies. In child-friendly
schools, school leaders and teachers often see these young people as victims as
well. Who or what made them? These acts of selfishness are counterproductive
indeed. It creates a vicious cycle of indifference and even violence.
There are teachers as well
whose extrinsic motivations prevail. They only work for the financial rewards
and see their learners as their JOBS. They just let their day pass without
thinking if the learner is humanized by the lessons s/he haphazardly presented.
And what about those
government workers who shout at their clients; the legislators and elected
officials who do not even understand that the voice of the constituents must be
heard? They must transcend their personal wants and consider others since they
vow to be public servants.
Not surprisingly, according
to Psychology Today, the extent of your own emotional intelligence—your ability
to know what you’re feeling, to accurately label and name different emotions
with precision, and to use your emotions to inform your thinking—will make it
easier or harder for you to be empathic. The more connected you are to your own
emotions, the greater your ability to feel for others.
Discourses like these often
lead back to self-knowledge through introspection. By having a keen
understanding of the self, the person could now journey to others since s/he
already journeyed to the SELF.
We must care. The sole
purpose of living is not just to satisfy the SELF but to serve others. The
family could be the so-called OTHERS but there is a larger family outside the
home. We now understand that selfishness is now seen if you are only capable of
caring for your family and “clan”. Empathy is pervasive.
Every day, people serve
their neighbors and our nation in many different ways, from helping a child
learn and easing the loneliness of those without a family to defending our
freedom overseas. It is in this spirit of dedication to others and to our
country that I believe service should be broadly and deeply encouraged -John
McCain.
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