Di maka tiner. Sige mibalhin. Sige motapwak bisan hain. It has always been interesting to note that there are people who cannot stay in a job for long. There are those who transfer from one place to another. There also persons who cannot finish a project. And even with friends, they cannot stay from one circle but will then move or create another. They are the drifters.
Drifters, according to Bell Leadership Institute, have difficulty making themselves do things that require order, discipline, planning or follow- through. They often live a chaotic life: lose things; go to the wrong places on the wrong dates; or forget to pay their bills. They are often late.
Those who develop the Drifter extreme personality pattern begin life with the same genetic need for play, freedom, fun, and creativity as do Creators. But typically they grow up in families with little structure and few processes or rules. They just float from one event to another. They build the extreme need to do whatever they feel like and an extreme fear of being confined or restricted or not having fun. They develop the belief that the only way that they can ever be successful and happy is to be uncommitted.
Dr. Gerald Bell (2019) mentions that most Drifters’ parents and other early influence trained him/her to believe that the highest value in life is freedom and fun. Thus Drifters develop extreme personality patterns to do whatever they feel like all the time. Almost all Drifters grew up in a family with few rules or consequences. Most Drifters had parents who had a craving for freedom and play. Their parents were disorganized, messy, and permissive. In some cases, Drifters had parents that were extremely controlling, domineering, and closed-minded causing the Drifter to vow not to be anything like them.
In 1938, Napoleon Hill published “Outwitting the Devil”. Hill attempts to uncover the secrets to freedom and success by evaluating the greatest obstacles that humans face in order to attain their personal goals in life.
He then theorized that drifting includes: Eating wrong sort of food or in a wrong quantity; Money matters in marriage leads to conflict; Working in a job he doesn’t like or have passion in; Impulsive spending; Fear of poverty; Other negative thoughts; Procrastination; and Flattery.
He also identified that Drifters: Lack of major purpose in life; Lack of confidence; Overspending; Little or no imagination; Lack of enthusiasm; Doesn’t have control over his emotion; Not attractive personality; Have a lot of opinions, but no knowledge; Jack of all trades but master of none; Neglect to cooperate; Make the same mistake over and over again; Narrow minded and intolerant; Begin many things but complete nothing; Criticize a lot without giving solution; Indecisive; Eat too much, exercise little; Gambling, drugs, liquor; They have to work harder than other to have something; Criticize others in the back but flatter to their faces.
One can identify some of the people in their surrounding who manifest these traits. But then, it is also a necessity for us to evaluate whether we are like them or not. You see, a lot of problems will be encountered personally and with our relationships if we drift.
The inability to complete a task is generally considered a fundamental form of failure. It means that the person who is supposed to complete the task came up short and was not able to fulfill the set standard for completion of the task. The fact that the task remains incomplete connotes a lack or deficiency, not only in the state of the task itself (i.e., because it is unfinished), but also in the person who was unable to complete it.
Drifters often have social anxiety. This often makes it hard to think rationally. Instead of enjoying the moment, they might feel preoccupied with what the other person is thinking. Instead of feeling confident with themselves, they might be worried about looking silly or dumb. Social anxiety can also affect the desire to spend time with other people. For example, they might avoid certain events or turn down invitations. Over time, this pattern can negatively affect their friendships (Arzt, 2020).
If we feel incomplete and want
to move from one place, task, group of friends to another, it is time for us to
ponder. Am I manifesting the traits of being a drifter? If so, how can I
improve myself from being a person with no identity or no tangible proof of
creating/finishing something?
People who have tried goal-setting in the past without success often think that having goals is useless. But here’s an important truth: The problem is not goals themselves but our attachment to outcome instead of our commitment to process.
Because when we focus on the process, the outcomes take care of themselves. A great way to keep this top of mind is to ask yourself “Who do I need to become in order to achieve my desired outcome?”
Let us stick to our plans and allow them NOT to be drowned by too much longing for FUN. Life is boring. The only thing to make it meaningful is to realize our goals and be of service to others not just to ourselves.
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