Better

 

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Samok na paglaong na magbag-o kaw. Himua nan hilom da. There something NOT right about new year’s resolutions. Most of them are purely forgotten on the third day of January. Chances are, you will be back with what you usually do. Change for the better is a decision, not just lip service.

Kaitlin Woolley from Cornell University and Ayelet Fishbach from the University of Chicago have just published some new research investigating New Year Resolutions, and found 55.2% of resolutions were health related (exercise: 31.3%, eat healthy: 10.4%, have healthier habits: 13.5%), 34.4% were work related (save: 20.8%, get out of debt: 12.5%, learn something: 0%, get organized: 1.0%), and 5.2% were social goals (spend time with family: 2.1%, help others: 0%, enjoy life: 3.1%).

But the research then found out that people are only limited to wishful thinking and cannot turn their promises into action. So, instead of saying them or posting them on social media, we can ponder on the importance of the things we like to change in us since these are needed for our well-being.

Do it. The people who consume a lot of substances that destroy the body cannot claim that they love themselves. They are probably trying to conceal something in them that they drown themselves with alcohol and satisfy the need to enjoy all the time. You see, there are things like “sacrifice” that we must do to have a better future. So, how can we say that we are capable of loving others when in fact we do not love ourselves?

Let us aim to become better. In the long run, we are here to serve others; to make good relationships. There are those who are so drunk with power they enjoy making others’ lives miserable. There are some who enjoy looking for others’ mistakes. Let them be. They are heading to something bad. We need to concentrate on what we can do to make a better world. We need to be better to contribute something good.

Let us face the new year with great expectations. We can deal with the challenges and we can rise above the difficulties. Like love, we can make ourselves become the answer.

Something for You

 

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Ajaw pagpahilabi panhatag, kahutdan kaw. Generosity is a good value. But to be generous to others, you need to be generous to yourself first. Like love, you cannot displace it once you do not know self-love.

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

But then why is it that some of us work to please someone else even if we are already dying inside? Is there a dearth of freedom due to the self-restrictions and the fear of being unwanted? That is why there is a need to open our eyes that we need NOT depend our happiness to others?

Why are you begging for someone else’s affection? Cohen (2017) said: You should never have to beg to get someone’s love, attention, or affection even, and for them to make you a priority. And you should never have to beg to get someone to love you, because someone that truly and utterly cares about you will treat you as a priority, and will make time for you, despite their busy schedules and whatnot.

It’s high time to respect yourself. Do not place yourself as a second priority. There is a need to control your emotions than allow them to let you be humiliated by allowing someone to control over you. Regain CONTROL over your happiness.

Enjoy your life. No matter how difficult the situation can be, breathe in happiness and peace. Extract yourself from unhappy relationships and worse, possessive ones. Be free and savor the short moments and make them well-spent.

Give yourself a break. Give yourself a gift. Love.

Board of Judges

 

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Kilaya kaw baja sa ako? Diin man ta magkaiban? You have an opinion about me? What is the basis of that? Are you employing the mindset of a scientific researcher when one must have an unbiased set of mindset towards my person?

What is your background? You see, there are instances when your upbringing might be the cause of your prejudice. You might be raised with a set of parents who are overly critical of your movements. When parents fail to affirm the young children, they will become adults with fragile security issues.

You see me as strict? Why? We do not have prior experiences together. You gauge your labels from people you do not know. You mean you do not trust your own observations and assessments? This is a manifestation of poor self-confidence! Use your own criteria. Embrace the common good not just your comfortable concepts of living.

The problem with prejudice is that it is rooted in ignorance. Ignorant persons ignore the facts. They directly create an opinion towards others without understanding the basic facts. Prejudice is a baseless and often negative preconception or attitude toward members of a group. Prejudice can have a strong influence on how people behave and interact with others, particularly with those who are different from them, even unconsciously or without the person realizing they are under the influence of their internalized prejudices.

Is it because I work harder than you? Or are you threatened by my silence and being different?

Cherry (2020) mentions that the common features of prejudice include negative feelings, stereotyped beliefs, and a tendency to discriminate against members of a group. In society, we often see prejudices toward a group based on race, sex, religion, culture, and more. While specific definitions of prejudice given by social scientists often differ, most agree that it involves prejudgments that are usually negative about individuals and members of a group.

So please, do not paint something bad against me. You do not know me. Check on yourself. Maybe you are the problem, not me.