Self Care

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Pinta kabootan sa atubangan nimo…

It is common understanding that there are people who can be so good when you are with them but in real life, they’re wolves ready to feed on your personality when you are not around.

Wolves in sheep's clothing come to you camouflaged in kindness and good intentions. At first, they dazzle you. However, they gradually show their claws, with which they subsequently attack your dignity, energy, and self-esteem (Sabater, 2022).

Surely, there are some of us who experienced having been acquainted with people who look and sound so caring and appreciative but eventually destroy you once they have the chance. These selfish and narcissistic individuals do not actually care for others since their world is centered to themselves.

Once you are linked with them in some kind of a friendship, they often tell you to BE LOYAL to them since they are “valuing” your friendship. But why continue torturing yourself if you already know that they are Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing?

It is healthy to leave that circle. Your peace is more important than their fake friendship.

Healthy relationships should be based on equality and respect, not control and power. In a healthy relationship you are not afraid of your friend’s anger, because they are NOT a threat to you. You feel safe, supported, happy, and excited to be around each other.

But when you are feeling the opposite – when you feel intimidated and unhappy, why linger? Isn’t too much to suffer for those who do not deserve your love and affection?

The National Institute of Mental Health mentions that self-care is taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy.

So, why linger on toxic relationships? Let go and eventually attain the well-being we all deserve. 

Right Conduct

 

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Jaoy bagan mga lihok na usahay sakit sa uyo.

Manners are otherwise known as the respectful, polite, and correct conduct. Manners include other socially acceptable ways of behaviors. Manners are an important thing to learn and use throughout ones’ life. Having good manners means acting in a manner that respectful to others. Developing these skills can help people to have better relationships with people they know, and the new people that they meet.

QUEUEING IN A FAST FOOD CHAIN

There are those people who take a lot of time taking orders inside fast food stores. They do not consider the people behind them. There are individuals who are probably very hungry or having medical conditions like those taking insulin. Worse, there are customers who constantly change or add orders even if the queue is already immobile. Why not think what to eat ahead of time?

TAKING CALLS INSIDE A PUBLIC UTILITY VEHICLE

Who would want to hear where you left your keys? Why is it important to talk personal things inside a passenger van?

Whitbourne (2013) said: Clearly, people feel that talking on the cell phone somehow isolates them from the people in their immediate vicinity. The deeper they get into their conversations, the more removed they feel from those who are physically present and the more engaged they become in the conversation itself. Unfortunately for them, and for their unwilling listeners, they are anything but isolated. Their public cell phone behavior is annoying.

SOCIAL MEDIA ETTIQUETTE

Just as social etiquette dictates how people behave around others in the real world, social media etiquette refers to the guidelines that individuals use to preserve their reputation online.

If I am your future manager, why should I hire you when I saw how you post your drinking binges even to the point that you are vomiting due to drunkenness? If you are a teacher and I could see your lewd posts, your rants, your un-academic escapades (even your wrong spelling of words), will I be motivated to recommend you for a promotion?

By practicing basic good manners, we are showing those around us that we respect them and are considerate to their feelings. This makes them feel better, and us too.

Online Fiends

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Bantay kay nagsuyong sila pirme sa ila smart phones!

It can never be denied that there are online predators these days. When the internet flourished, these people started making it as a weapon of control, manipulation and even distorting the truth.

The site exploringyourmind.com reported that predators have been perfecting their paths to crime with the new information technologies that have emerged. Using social networks, chat rooms, or forums allows anyone to quickly contact a lot of people. These spaces make it easier for these people of bad intents to select their victims. It also makes it easier for them to fabricate credible lies.

One of the things that they do is project a perfect image on social media sites. There are tendencies that they post pictures alongside credible personalities for them to have some sort of a front. It is like name-dropping during conversations.

Once they can establish some sort of an image, they attack.

Fraud activities can cause irreversible financial losses (Kircanski et al., 2018) and can also lead to negative emotions, such as depression and anxiety, and psychological pressure, such as anger, self-blame and shame, in older adult victims (Button et al., 2014).

 Why do millions of older adults continue to encounter online fraud despite rigorous, comprehensive programs designed to prevent and control fraudulent internet activities, widespread education on the use of technology and other methods to avoid being defrauded? Are older adults more likely to become victims of fraud?

According to traditional fraud theory (Johnson et al., 2001; Zhang, 2016), the victimization process in online fraud comprises four stages (fraudulent online messages → assessment of information authenticity → trust generation → decision-making errors). Individuals' attention and processing patterns toward fraud clues are related to the likelihood of success in this four-stage fraud theory (Gao,2021).

Most of the fraudulent figures are brilliant and have skewed motivations on materialistic tendencies. They believe that online scamming is the path to their ambitious journeys. They spend a lot of time profiling their victims and their attacks are really scientific moves to make the victims fall prey.

We need to watch out. Our online friends might be lurking behind the shadows of the social media sites waiting for their time to snatch our peace. 

Minding Your Mind

 

Umay imo dakan himoon kun ya kaw kasabot?

When you are inside academic community, you seem to be using your mind all the time. But what if it is not trained for critical analysis? There seems to be a progression of deepened analytical movements at present. But what if the mind cannot cope?

Cognition is a term referring to the mental processes involved in gaining knowledge and comprehension. Some of the many different cognitive processes include thinking, knowing, remembering, judging, and problem-solving (Block, 2023).

What affects cognition?

Research indicates that age, selective attention, cognitive biases, genetics and memory limitations are factors that affect the cognition process. These are some things that a facilitator/teacher put into consideration for the studied concept, theory or processes can be understood.

Some people think learning and thinking differences only affect children. But adults can have them too. That’s because learning and thinking differences are lifelong issues. Learning and thinking differences aren’t something you outgrow.

Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. This activity must be understood by the individual to work on the constant functioning of the brain. Keeping notes on the things that you observe, the feelings you have will later allow the person to proceed to some sort of analytical reflection.

Donald Schön (1983) based his work on that of Dewey and is most widely known for his theory of reflecting in and reflecting on one’s practice. His theory was grounded in reflection from a professional knowledge and learning perspective (Bolton, 2014.p.6). In simple terms this is described as reflecting as the experience is occurring or reflecting on the experience after it has occurred. Reflecting in action refers to situations such as: thinking on your feet, acting straight away, and thinking about what to do next. Reflecting on action means you are thinking about what you would do differently next time, taking time to process (Bolton, 2014.p.6).

The local academic community now requires reflection journals among teachers, school heads and supervisors. There are those who have negative attitude towards the activity since for them it is basically an additional burden. They probably do not understand the theories behind the required actions.

Aside from the aforementioned factors, the act of NOT doing something to improve cognition through mindfulness might be the missing link why some learners and adults have the difficulties in understanding even a simple framework.

 

Over Power/Power Over

 

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Luhod lagi pag-paddle nako!

Fraternity members allegedly behind the death by hazing of 24-year-old Adamson University student John Matthew Salilig initially planned to burn the victim’s body instead of burying it, according to the police (inquirer.net).

This can be a reaction for self-preservation. But is this the mindset of the so-called brotherhood? You hurt someone and then dispose the body as if it is just a piece of dirt?

The need of affiliation is one of three acquired needs laid out by psychologist David McClelland in his theory on the motivations for human behavior. This particular need concerns the desire to be associated with specific people and groups, to have a greater sense of belonging and place.

This is the main psychology behind why people want to be affiliated with a group, a fraternity or any other clusters of people.

Since we are looking into McClelland’s theory, we must also NOT forget that he posited the Need for Power and Achievement. The individuals who are motivated by power have a strong urge to be influential and controlling. They want that their views and ideas should dominate and thus, they want to lead.

Dominate.

When you hold on to a blunt object to intentionally hurt someone, you are driven by the urge to dominate – to be in control.

Need for power can be expressed in behavior in many ways. One of these is the use of physical or psychological aggression to force others to comply with what one wants from them (Boneva, 2001).

Matthew Salilig probably just wanted to be accepted. Yet, he was able to encounter those whose need to dominate overpower. One of the “brothers” who drove the vehicle when they buried the body is reportedly dead due to suicide.

How many more lives are going to be wasted due to unprocessed psychological behaviors and motives?