That Green-Eyed Monster

You looked hungry. The people around seemed to be nourished and sated. Yet, your stomach was complaining and your soul needed something to quench a certain thirst. Was it because of the betrayal a loved one has done? Or was it something else?

A flash of memory fleetingly visited your conscious mind: Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ". When Jim Caviezel mimicked Jesus in saying: I thirst! Also, that androgynous character of evil carrying a baby on his/her arms while the pain escalated on Jesus...

But you digressed. You needed to devour something. A certain longing was created you wondered if you were still capable of existential angst. You knew that this was caused by something but you were not able to point it out. This might be stress-related but you were able to immerse yourself in more strenuous activities before...

Then it dawned on you when you realized that you were denying on the issue of your loneliness. You feared that you would be left behind by the person you were investing a lot of time, treasure and talent. She's leaving you! She found someone who could be considered as better than you.

You got afraid since you have a history of violence. You were sent to a shrink when you mother got alarmed when she saw your room filled with decapitated parts of dolls you stole from your sisters and your neighbors.You liked the idea of sawing them to pieces using that small yet effective iron saw.

Now, you need to cry some without the presence of others. You must create a facade of strength but you must transfer this pain to the culprit or her subject of affection. The guy should be punished for him to realize he is bumping into something more powerful than him. After all the clothes, phones, food, perfume and money you gifted her, another would benefit her love and affection?

Someone must pay.

Machismo: Exaggerated pride in masculinity, perceived as power, often coupled with a minimal sense of responsibility and disregard of consequences. Caudillos (military dictators), prominent in the history of Latin America, have typified machismo with their bold and authoritarian approach to government and their willingness to employ violence to achieve their ends. -Britannica.com