Have a Blast

                            (Sydney photo booth)

Eventology was first heard when people started to consider event organizing as business. Basically it is a statistical jargon which is all about random and vague events. Yet, with the influx of entertainment and leisure as potent avenues for business, people gravitate to such areas to socialize and do the much-needed R&R. This could also be linked to the stressful and busy schedules of the working force they find a need to unwind.

Managing and staging events are skills to be mastered to make the desired outcomes be realized. And since these include people as clients or participants, the persons to man the events must also be knowledgeable in dealing with others. In short, they must be socially-intelligent to be able to come across. It is not enough to have the desire to serve or the need to be recognized for the eventologists to become successful ones. There is a need for them to be trained, educated and have a strong conceptual background of how to manage events to make things happen.

As I observed some of the events being attended lately, I realized that there is a necessity for people to learn how to stage and manage events. You see, selfish intentions and motives won’t make the events happen. Instead, it would become a waste of time and resources that add up to a certain craving to have more events which will also become hollow. A vicious cycle of creating gigs that could be considered as exercises in futility will happen.

Management and leadership must be employed in doing similar things. Policies and the much sought-after monitoring and evaluation should take place.

Here’s a series of thoughts:

Who will be attending the party? What are their motivations and how could we meet their expectations? Eventually, how could we gain something out from it?

The genius of John C. Maxwell will then surface. According to him, everyone wants something. Even the person who appears not to be motivated has desires. You need to find out what people want. Sometimes, they will tell you. Other times you need to use your discernment. Whenever people want something but see no way to get it, they will not be motivated. One of the jobs of the leader is to determine how the people can achieve what they desire.

Building teams will then follow. After the planning phase and identifying the needs of the people who will attend the gigs, the leader then build a strong team to manage the different teams. These teams must act independently and the managers will then become functional. Micromanagement must be avoided so to make things happen.

In the end, it is always a headache to attend a disorganized activity. It could be avoided once the eventologists will come out of their boxes and create meaningful events that would satisfy the multiple desires of the people they are having. You see, most of them even spend resources to attend such gigs yet they end up dissatisfied.

But then again, no matter how boring or exciting the parties could be, what matters most is the friendship and relationships that thrive.

We are All

                              (photo: inquirer.net)

“You spent everything?” the wife asked the partner as they embarked the public utility van. “You seem to be like that one-day millionaire!” she hissed as the van started to depart from the gate of a department store.The husband was quiet. He was probably savoring the time when he was in control with the amount he received from being a construction worker. Whatever happens he was the king during that time. He could play the scenes on his head: the time when he bought that shirt and he was not afraid that he could not pay the exact amount… He could reminisce the exhilaration of that moment when he could feel the money in his pocket and that he could buy anything he wanted.

According to the latest SWS survey, 47% of the 10.9 million families tagged themselves as poor. These are the members of our society where they have hand-to-mouth existence and they work daily to earn a living. These families have students sent to public schools and are being exposed to the difficulties of life. There are those who will survive the difficulties but there are lots who will surrender to their fate.

There are times when we will receive messages from our phones and through the internet from young people who ask for gifts. We tell them that gifts are not supposed to be asked. But these young ones see this time of the year as opportunities for them to have something they wish they have. They oftentimes make is as a joke yet there are those who are lucky enough to get what they want.

These are also opportunities for the predators to thrive on the preys.

With the onslaught of typhoon Vinta, there are people who are displaced from their homes. Most of them are informal settlers who live on the riverbanks or near the sea. Imagine the time when they tried to save their meager belongings to be brought to the evacuation center. Picture the elderly who could not walk without assistance and the small babies crying and wondering what on earth is happening?

These are scenarios that we could not deny. We suffer with them even if we are being protected with the sturdy houses and iron roofing we own. We feel their discomfort as they lie on the cold floor with nothing but those cheap blankets we grimace at inside stores in the bargain boxes. We are also hungry as the stomach of the children crave for solid food and not the half-cooked sardines they received as relief goods.

There are those of us who worry about their relationships. We sometimes fail to go out of the emotional cages that we built forgetting that there are people who need us. Yes, our emotions are important but they are being gifted to us by God not just for ourselves but to be extended to others. We are responsible for our own happiness and we are also born to be generous making such happiness pervasive.

There are those of us who worry about what clothes to wear. But among us, there are those who do not even have clothes. We often worry about what food to prepare on the eve of the 24^th, yet there are people who do not have anything to eat this moment. Our Christmas embellishments are sometimes more expensive that the food some of the children are eating…

There will be storms to face. We could be brave and strong if we face them together.

Sink or Swim

                                    (pinterest)

There were complaints on how the ship seemed to be at a snail’s pace and the like. The person in charge of the bedding in the tourist section tried to give an indifferent ear to the complainants. High time that another shipping company to stop this monopoly! Shouted someone who said he had a wedding to catch up. It was almost ten in the morning and the canteen served only instant coffee at twenty pesos per cup and stale biscuits. Indeed, patience could be tested at such times.

You drowned these words inside the world Pat Barker created via “Double Vision” but your stomach failed you to be with the protagonist who tried to have redemption after covering the different wars his country has waged. You sensed the urgency to go home as well after seeing hundreds of passengers trying to go home or proceed to a destination. You wonder why people complain about poverty on this country while malls and airports so with ships are always full of them.

To have some fresh air as the ship maneuvered to be docked, you went out and followed an aisle on the ship’s side. There you saw them.

Clad in filthy undergarments, some kids of the Badjao tribe begged for some passengers to throw coins to them. This is not something new for constant travelers but the sight of toddlers diving for one-peso coins could be disturbing. How could these young ones survive at such environment? But then, the more chilling scene is the sight of those adults throwing coins to them and seemingly enjoying the feat.

Of course others would frown on your words if you prevent them from their twisted sense of “helping others”. Who are you to judge them, anyway? Their intentions might be different from what you thought. They might have justifications that would pale in comparison to what you were thinking.

You then remembered the times when those self-righteous persons commented on your plight to air out ideas and generate stands on social issues on women and children. Your thesis focused on the viability of anti-violence against women and children law and you were scandalized to find out that even government offices are seldom practicing measures to stop violence against women and children. You fought hard to raise hell on persons with biases on the issue. And often, you are the minority and sometimes considered as hilarious.

But you still believe that ignorance could be battled. Stupidity thrives but with the influx of new technologies, there is still hope that these issues would be taken with seriousness being followed by action.

There are children among us who are like those swimming ones. They tried to live a life so different from the ideal one. There are those who are addicted to computer games because they’d like to have a sense of power which is triggered by their basic need to be secure. There are some who are into prostitution to be in step with what is happening around them.

And there are the most of US who oftentimes frown, be indifferent and even be the predators of their weaknesses.

Revolution

                                                 (pinterest)

Every time there is a party being held in the public area for free, young people flock and try to blend in the crowd. The need to belong is present in the way they move and the way they talk to their friends. Here, we could also see how the well-off ones flock like entitled beings on the area. They seem to underscore their presence with signature clothes and the way they talk. Some would even feign eloquence even if their lines are the nightmares of their English teachers.

There was a time when the noisy and “common people” were being glanced sharply by the “educated” ones. But on a macro perspective, they are the products of the society where we all belong. What has become of this generation when the adults point their fingers to the young when in fact they are the products of our own actions? Of course, the young must also be responsible of their actions but what if their movements and lifestyles are being copied from their own parents? 

According to www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, Parents who form warm relationships with their children and have minimal conflict with them, provide adequate monitoring and supervision, and do not provide models of drug use can protect youth from developing substance use disorders. Lack of strong positive relationships with parents increases involvement with deviant peers, which increases adolescents’ risk for a variety of problems, including precocious transitions, such as early pregnancy, premature independence from parents, and school dropout.

But then, we could not blame the parents who work with hand-to-mouth incomes. They need to concentrate on making a living than deal with the complex way of parenting. This could be thought properly by legislators, health workers and educators to come up with policies that could improve the status on this area of governance where the young people’s lives are at stake.  

Still, this multifaceted act could be done by the person who is in control with his inner self. But then again, it takes capacity-building, or a springboard followed by a shift of philosophy and evaluated actions. These could only be gained through education.That could take an unending discourse to the point that the evolution of education must also be in step with its ecology. 

With this, we could be left with the only thing that we can do. Make our own actions as contributors to the change that we want to happen in the society. Nothing will come out if we complain a lot and do less. In our own micro-world, we could create simple changes that will radiate to others.

By simply affirming and humanizing the young, they will appreciate their own contributions and could probably start a revolution in the heart which will become valid actions to make the world a better place.

Breaking down walls and by not labeling people based on their status, looks, skin color, religious preferences and sexual orientations, these could be the springboard of having "that" envisioned society. Smile. This could make others feel they are important like you.

Who Wants to be Miss Universe?

                                  (photo: setcelebs.com)

There is this anxiety among the gay community and the enthusiasts on the forthcoming Miss Universe pageant. They are, of course, rooting for the country’s bet to win the most-coveted crown in terms of beauty pageants. The young gays who are still in high school are planning to be absent on Monday for them to see the pageant live on cable TV or the live streaming. The older ones who are already working already filed their leave of absence from work for the said event.

Two things come to mind? First, why is it that this event is being linked to gays? Second is: Do the people understand that this is a franchise, meaning a business of its own?

Let us try to understand the psychology behind the first question: The reason why gays gravitate on the pageant. The Americans introduced the popularity of beauty contests in the early American colonial period. According to Prof. Wendell Capili, Philippine carnivals were already present in 1908 which was supposed to promote different products from the Philippines. Then, the influx of the different beauty contests emerged. During those times, homosexuality is still considered as taboo and a “sin”. Thus, the word closet gays were coined. Most of these people were so obsessed with dressing up like women inside closed doors to avoid ridicule and condemnation. They pictured themselves as the most beautiful women being looked up and adored by many.

The evolution of the so-called open-mindedness happened because of cross cultures and the influence of mass media. When the LGBT (lesbian, gays, bisexuals and transgenders) movement heightened, more gays come out of the open. Trans-women then became present in conspicuous areas of the society that they started to be part of it. In, short, they have become accepted as part of the diversity of cultures in the ecology.

Despite this, oppression and prejudice are still hurled to the gays. This is probably the reason why they attract to the highest affirmation of beauty in the land, er, the universe. They fantasize to be as beautiful as the crowned woman since she is the epitome of womanhood. If the universe accepts this girl as the most beautiful one, why not affiliate oneself to her? They even claim to be of similar poise and bearing of the current Miss Universe so to convince themselves that they are beautiful even with the obvious raised eyebrows of others. Of course, they understand that they are not, they just have to air out such need to be “accepted” by everybody.

Also, the majority of us Filipinos experience oppression and ridicule of sorts. Take for example the brouhaha over the side comments of that Jordanian actress named Mais Hamdan generalizing how Filipino workers mispronounce words with a funny accent. She was shocked by the flood of retaliation to her by the Pinoy netizens to the point that the actress publicly apologized because of the words she uttered two years ago. We dislike being criticized and looked down. We had enough of colonization that we must strike back. One way is being acknowledged as the most beautiful person in the universe.

Still, we have to understand that our fixation to such beauty pageants made the organizers and the franchise owners millionaires. The advertisers and the network who air the event (who are also the co-owners of the franchise) would raise hell in buying air time for the coronation night. Miss Universe Organization is even thankful to the Philippines and the Filipinos in general for the support in making the event one of the sought-after live shows in the land.

But then, why do we have to be analytical on such things? What matters most is the exhilaration of the moment. The time when we clutch the pillows in our bedrooms and pray hard for Miss Philippines to be the one; The presence of that bitter taste in the mouth when the Q & A will come and we try to compose the right answers in our heads as if we are the contestant; The unexplained glee when Miss Philippines will be in the Top 5… Yes, we seem to be her. She represents our insecurities and when she wins, it is like slapping the world in the face while screaming: WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU!

Eavesdropping

Have you experienced being in a passenger van and someone is talking to the phone as if he/she is the only person inside? You will then be hounded by the personal stuff they leave behind the highways. There are those who quarrel and scold someone to the point that cursing the other seem to be the sound track of the trip. Some would seem to instruct a simpleton on how to open the cabinet using the key he left on top of the fridge.

But then I guess the most annoying thing is the time when the driver himself is the one taking the call and long discussions will happen. You often hear the driver informing the other end that he is driving but the caller would then insist on talking over the mobile phone. You will then look at the road and thought about an impending accident to occur. You’d like to yell at the driver yet it might be the cause of the accident!

There was one time when I had a seatmate in a jam-packed PUV who giggled a lot while whispering sweet nothings to her lover. I could sense that that the woman was married due to her built and the ring on her finger. Yet I could sense that she was not talking to her husband. I may be prejudicial but the things she said were not meant to be spoken to a husband. I might sound as an eavesdropper but I can’t help it! I am an auditory person and words seem to play a lot of stuff in my mind. My imagination is strong and inference is a competency I was able to master.

One study is claiming that persons who take lots of calls have some important relations that they could not attempt to disconnect themselves to the significant others. They might be close friends or others might have romantic ties. The validity of the study is still in question but common sense allows us to nod on the theory. Could the things to be discussed wait in the proper time and proper place?

Of course, there are important ones that you need to take. What if it comes from your boss and there are pressing matters that you need to address? But these are isolated cases and the etiquette of answering phone calls should be practiced most of the time if not all the time. I was even doing it one time when a personnel from the Central Office of our department called me up for an important matter in an area when signal is at its weakest. I had to raise my voice to be heard!

But then, there are those who take their calls with loudspeakers discussing on their business and how to bury the dead rat found in the bedroom. These times make you scream inside the passenger van. It is a public space and one must act and behave well. This is the reason why we study so for us to attain socially-accepted behaviors.

One time, I guffawed when I also chanced upon one of these these call-takers and unexpectedly, a reasonable woman shouted at the back : SHUT UP! My laughter sounded sick and uncalled for. Yet, I felt mirth when the thing that I like to do long before was realized.

Torn

She arrived wearing distressed jeans. She topped it with black silky material exposing her shoulders. To make a poignant statement, she wore high-heeled shoes. Of course, people ogled her clothing but deep in her, she was confident enough to wear something “in”; something en vogue.

This is a free country, that’s a given. But we are also free to reflect on the things we communicate directly and indirectly to others. Clothes masquerade as our identity. It is how we signal who we are. There is nothing wrong to dress up or don something which we fancy. But we must remember that decency is taught to us.  We are being told to let others respect us through a dignified presentation of ourselves.

We are not saying that those who wear something fancy lack the dignity or respect but there is always a time to wear clothes in the right place and proper time. Could one imagine wearing pajamas inside a church during service? There was even a debate over wearing slippers as a part of a fashion ensemble yet a pair of Havaianas is still for the beach and tropical streets. It could never exchange the function of closed shoes…

Torn, distressed or tattered jeans could raise eyebrows inside educational institutions, offices, banks and of course, churches. We understand that the pair might be designed by Georges Marciano of GUESS and it is worth three grand yet the function of the clothing is not suited for the place. Going to an office is different from attending an all-the-way party and similar events.

Let us go back to indirectly communicating our personalities through our clothing. There are those who would be slighted and insulted when some people judge them through their clothes. But, we need to adhere to the reality that the first sense to be used by people is the sense of sight. Marketing personalities often spend a lot on packaging their products and mounting window displays in shops to lure the eyes which will lead to judgment on what to like and purchase. Similar to our choices of clothing…that is how we signal what is our brand.

But then life is short and we might try some of the things we fancy, right? It’s OK to do such things during thematic events and quirky times. But to “die for it” is another story.

Same thing happened with the onslaught of the short shorts being “accepted” as staples for street wear. And it should remain as that. We then wonder why girls are donning such skimpy clothing inside schools and offices. Is it because they want to highlight good skin and complexion? Then why is it that others who do not have them still do the same? Why are they showing their liabilities, not their assets?

We overhear sisters complaining how their brothers make their basketball jersey as a fashion statement, pairing them with jeans and basketball shoes… Such complaints have a common denominator: unsuitable.

But then, with this uncertain times, we expect the unexpected. We might not consider clothing as a means of communicating our personalities but a simple need of covering our mortal beings. We might as well transcend to become persons of substance not minding what is naked in the eye but what is beyond the packaging.

Dark Niche

                        (photo: prisonphone.co.uk)

He mumbles obscenities in the air. He also throw punches to the man on the moon. Cursing is not new to him as he does this often to the shadows in his assigned cell. The others who are with him often dismiss him as weird…his companions even mouth the word CRAZY to each other. This is not the place for me! That inner voice screams like it’s the end of the world. Indeed, this thing, this cell is the apocalypse.

His world before was vast. The opportunities were as clear as the crystal…similar to the thing they would soon put on foil, heated and inhaled. The happiness and enjoyment seemed to be endless. The world was like a wide area where there was no tomorrow…only the unequaled happiness one could experience through parties, booze and, of course, drugs.

But suddenly, the lights went off.

It was early dawn when he heard muffled movements outside. He was roused realizing he was in an acquaintance’s house. They passed out after the blissful combination of rum and methamphetamine. His tongue was still bitter and white, when he checked it, with the residue of their happy moments. He noticed he was in a room with male friends who were still in oblivion. One had his penis half-exposed from his jocks out of the promiscuity of their party. He nudged the friend beside him. He just grumbled and continued his dazed sleep.

The police arrived with guns and a search warrant. He was pinned down on the floor with his companion. The half-naked one was pushed hard beside him with the exposed cock mockingly facing him. It was fast. The cold embrace of metal on his arms and the jerk towards the police mobile were so swift that his presence in the local PNP headquarters was surreal. He heard some of his companions complaining but the word RAID reverberated in his head.

He was then introduced to his new world, his cell.

The odor of refuse and sweat merged like a nightmare. There were some cockroaches whispering to him as if they have a secret they share. The indifferent expressions of the inmates was chilling. A dark intent was lurking at the back of their stoic expressions. He wanted to flee; he wished this was just a bad dream and he prayed that he would be awakened from it. But the cold floor of the cell made love to his feet like a long-lost lover and the eerie silence of the place told him that all was real.

He wept for the first week. He felt unsustainable pain in his heart for the next months. He could not imagine that his life will waste in the claustrophobic room. He started feeling regret: that bitter feeling of blaming the self and bargaining to the unknown force happened.

But his God was not listening. He started to feel numb inside. Slowly, the life in him started to fade away like his dreamed twilight and dusk. He started to see the world differently. He adapted to his small niche.

Yet, interludes come. The anger and regret in his subconscious mind sometimes peep. He would then give the middle finger to the air and hiss on the wall…He mumbles obscenities in the air. He also throw punches to the man on the moon. Cursing is not new to him as he does this often to the shadows in his assigned cell.

This is probably his hell. The atonement would soon come when his deaf God hears his silent screams. How soon? No one knows.

(Got these thoughts when I held an inmate in my arms with tears overflowing when I visited a prison facility lately…)

Fade Away

Your mind is just a program

And I’m the virus

I’m changing the station

I’ll improve your threshold

I’ll turn you into a super drone

And you will kill on my command

And I won’t be responsible…

- Muse (Psycho)

Feet stomped on the forgotten graves. The grass concealed the names of the departed, making them look like faded memories. The other side of the fence where tombs were so shiny with granite finishing populate the calla lilies and stargazes smiling and mouthing the names of the rich departed. Even in death, there is a disparity between the rich and the poor… No one visited the forgotten souls while the beloved ones have cotton-clad relatives sipping iced tea and tinkering on their electronic gadgets.

But when the afternoon sun peeped at the rich tombs, its cruel rays screamed at the flowers and the scented candles started to melt. The flowers wilted and joined the expired occupant of the tombs. The grass on the poor side eased their way up and started to perform the process of photosynthesis. They feed on the sun and survived another day. The visitors went home and the place was then covered with silence. The norm came back: the dead is the same… No rich, no poor. They are simply NOT HERE.

The living continued their lives. Some got drunk since they considered coming over the tombs as another day of gratifying themselves. Some said their prayers and others asked the priest to bless the graves…There were kids, clad in their clothes which has Poverty labelled over them who stole the adornments and candles to be sold for some food. Their bodies were decorated with dirt and Hunger seemed to be their family names.

The drunk swaggered home. Their intoxicated dreams were incomprehensible. Those who were clinging to their emotions continued to wallow in distress on their relationships: others were selfish, some were on the rocks. Some of the adults were thinking about money - on how they will sustain their families for the next few days. There were those who salivate on their elicit affairs and the youngsters plan for events to fill in their bored minutes. The living continued to find their niche, their reasons and their meanings.

When darkness defeated the day, heavens wept.

You continued with your introspection. There is a need in you to broaden your horizons. You need not strive too much on things that could make you unhappy. You must discover who you really are and what path you are going to trek. There is also this realization that everything is temporary. There is no need for you to chase something beyond yourself. You could live simply and be rooted on good ground. Material things won’t be there forever. You can't bring them to your grave...

You are fleeting. You may be the forgotten grave or the well-adorned one. But it is the same. All would be gone. You will be gone. There are some who will be obliged to visit once a year. But for the rest of eternity, you are alone. 

Better, become the flower for the living. Let them smell the beauty of life. Be the candle for the young. Instead of melting uselessly, be the light....the guide...the beckon. LIVE!

Scared of Kids?

                          (photo: pinterest.com)

When did trick or treat started to be done in the Philippines?

In the 80’s, the socialites and social climbers would only shop and do their groceries in Rustan’s. The elite flocked on the imported clothes and eau de toilette inside the department store and Pringles and Snickers were only tasted once in a while by the commoners. Brands like YSL, Gucci and even the scents of Victoria’s Secret were shipped direct from abroad

.

Basically, the well-off families were the ones to visit the United States and Europe. They talked about their escapades and the events they were able to attend were fabulous! There was Thanksgiving where turkey was served; the kissing under the mistletoe during Christmas; the New Year countdown in Times Square…and of course, the trick or treat of the kids during Halloween.

The boom of information technology ushered in the different events which are famous and well-talked about. The internet particularly brought the different celebrations and interests on the fingertips of the people especially the young ones. Knowledge on the brands like Guess, Levis and other global brands became the staple. China grabbed the chance and so the birth of Class “A” brands came to the market.

It was with the advent of malls when commercialization was attached to the celebrations and holidays as part of the marketing strategies to bring people inside the malls. Valentine’s Day was attached to the young ones and most of them would be stressed once they could not give some sort of gifts to their romantic partners. Birthdays are incomplete without a cake. And of course, Halloween is an addition to the events where malls, hotels, cafes and other establishments would put a lot of efforts to mount so that people would come. The more people in the establishments, the better business will it be.

But why so engrossed with the ugly, the gory and the scary? We need not dwell on the supernatural to get scared. All we have to do is view the news on TV or listen to a politician talk. All the goosebumps in the world could be experienced through them. Yet, the scary has also a commercial value that the horror genre is not out of fashion. Even books with horror as the theme are always on the bestsellers’ list. The likes of Stephen King, Peter Straub, even the stories of Neil Gaiman and the movie ventures of the Monteverdes with the “Shake, Rattle and Roll” franchise are doing well in the market.

Another thing which seems to be en vogue is the tacking of the different phobias. There is the fear of clowns, the fear of insects, close spaces, open spaces and the more popular: fear of dolls and children.

On introspect, it seems that phobia is still part of acculturation brought about by the influences from the things we see and we read from the different media sources. During the early times when the internet was still nil, people were afraid of the dark. Their imaginations created the manananggal and other supernatural beings. When the country became accessible to electricity, we were introduced to the zombies…

We could not help but to adapt since the world is getting flat. Japan has started embracing this culture. We just have to process such things to the young and hold on to our own cultural identity since we fought so hard for our own. We need to make the things we allow dwelling on our psyche as things that we understand and we can control. We won’t allow these things to be the ones to control us.

Revenge

                               (photo: abs-cbn.com)

When the lights subdued, confetti started to fall. Then, a hush came when power returned and a woman clad in gold gown came down the stairs. Everybody’s attention was to her and when she reached the steps, fireworks commenced on cue. She proceeded to the governor and his daughter whose mouths were agape. Then, the woman who rose from the dead said: I’m back. Ivy Aguas is dead. Lily Cruz is alive. You could never destroy me. I’m indestructible! Ironically, music inspired of Spandau Ballet’s “Gold” was played on the background as the main characters eyed each other with hate and deception. The local cyberspace was then full of the tag line Black is Out, Gold is In.

This was the much talked about scene of ABS-CBN’s telenovela “Wildflower”. The program catapulted to fame as a woman started to make revenge as her breakfast, lunch and dinner. She also dashed and garnished her persona with hatred to the point that the sole purpose of her existence is to get even with the people who made her inferior inside and out.

The formula of the TV program was easily picked up by the Filipino audience due to the numerous backgrounds of the viewers. One could admire the research conducted by the production team on what would tickle the minds and interests of the majority. Most of the people who view TV on these time slot are women who prepare the family’s dinner, so why not place a strong character which could suit the fantasies of the weakling? A woman who topples domineering males could be a potent one to fill the air time.

There are also those who are waiting for the evening news to be aired who are expecting rape victims, abused women and the weak as the prey to be aired on the national current events. So, why not put a reversal of such dreary mood by showing women who fight back and politicians who could be manipulated by them?

We see the power of the women being heralded on the show to the point that the male characters seem to play supporting roles only. With the coming in of Zsa zsa Padilla’s Red Dragon, the weak wives could now wait for their revenge on their dominating husbands as they marvel and feel the seething rage over Ardiente: the epitome of their pain and insult.

But then, one could wonder why do we feed on hate and lead to revenge? Isn’t this a negative thing to dwell on? People who constantly plan for the destruction of their enemies are not at peace. Their anger destroys their relationships, their careers and their capacity to serve others will be hampered since their prime motivation is to hurt and get even. We could not judge them since we did not feel their pain yet being grabbed with peace due to past pains could be counterproductive. The present holds their children, their friends and their will to serve. If these things be put at stake due to past hurts, life could be miserable.

The drama series is rated SPG (Strong Parental Guidance) since the kids might see the presented scenes as the ideal ones in real life. The viewers are expected to be adults who just see this one a pure entertainment. Yet, could we be assured that all people who view the show as mature enough to draw the line of what’s real and not? What if we like the thought of dressing up and proceed to our archenemies in full regalia and announce our vengeance?

In art lessons, we are being told that movies and other works of fiction are reflections of our culture and beliefs. It is a bit alarming seeing our kids spend time viewing shows just like these with hate as themes. We must reflect on the type of culture we are projecting for the future generation. We are sometimes lenient since we are caught in our own battles.But responsibility is attached to us so with our efforts to be and become.

Yet there are those of us who could be stubborn. We stick on our twisted beliefs. We are weak enough to confront our inner selves with the truth. We are already made. Some of us do not adhere to the belief that changing for the better is a continuum.

Superficial

When one changes his appearance through cosmetic surgery, will the person inside him change as well? Will his fears and insecurities vanish when the mirror speaks differently this time? It seems that there is a dangerous line between reality and fantasy that one needs to cross to be able to fully accept his being. But then, a stained white shirt would be worn differently when bleach works out in eradicating the stain.

An outburst of discussion happened in the social media sites when Marlo Arizala transformed himself to Xander Ford through multiple surgeries augmenting his looks to become that of his dreamed face. The former character actor with dark complexion and not-so-likable nose was featured in Korina Sanchez’s “Rated K” which catapulted the fame of the “new” kind of handsome.

Dr. Bryan Madelson, a noted cosmetic surgeon said that we live in a society that is obsessed with looks and those who go under the knife want their confidence back. Might as well consider the loss of confidence... What is it? Is it due to the pressure the society is setting that the good-looking ones are the persons to make it better and get the attention in the community? Or an unmet need of being accepted for who he or she is…

Historically, the Filipinos have been oppressed by different cultures that “hiya” is deep-seated in our midst and so with inferiority. When the Spanish conquestadors ruled over us, we were the household help. Our forefathers suffered the disgust of being an Indio - the brown-skinned helper. The fair-skinned senyors and senyoritas paraded the society with their perfectly-chiseled noses and smooth and milky complexion. They were the demigods and we really wanted to be like them. We then saw the arrival of the Americans as an academic bliss. They seemed to have a messianic impact to our culture since they educated the dark-skinned tabula rasa. They taught us with literature and we loved the American-English language that we even consider a person intelligent if he or she could speak it well. We marveled on their height and fair-skin, perfect noses and musical accent.

Acculturation took place and continued. That is the reason why our national heroes did a lot of efforts in raising our own identity as Filipinos. Some of them even died fighting for it.

So what’s the fuzz on Xander’s need to look differently? Our culture dictates it. We grimace on the brown complexion that we have. The influx of whitening lotions and soaps with glutathione are evidences of such need. We dye our hair to be similar to those of the American supermodels and we see women who are not tall as inferior to those who have long legs. We are the ones telling our children to be NOT who they are but be influenced with a belief transferred from one generation to another.

We all could be Xander Fords in our own ways. We just have to remember the times when we tried hard to look young, to see make up as a miracle and the cosmetics as enhancers of our real images. We just have to recall the times when we felt inferior when someone so fair-skinned passed by and we wanted to be like the person.

But going back to the inner self: Is Xander Ford different now? Are the needs and longings being addressed by the augmentation procedures? What would happen if they were not? Let us remember the sad plight of Michael Jackson, an African American who then became white. He underwent surgical procedures to look like his ultimate dream of a face: Diana Ross. When he attained the desired look, the hunger continued…His money went to the drains when the inner person continued to be unsatisfied that he eventually died unhappy.

Self-acceptance and self-love are essential things for our overall health and happiness. By embracing our flaws and individuality, we find the key to the realization that we are made differently. We are special in our own ways. We are unique. The body is just a shell.