Way makalupos. We have encountered
people who do not consider defeat. They always complain in competitions as if
they are always the best and could not be defeated. They always dominate discussions
and think that their ideas are of importance than others. They walk out on
events if these are not centered to them. They are very competitive that the
concept of learning from mistakes is alien.
Competitive people do
whatever it takes to fulfill their desires to keep up with status, winning at
sports, board games and even the lottery. These types of people are very
confident in themselves and the law of attraction are key elements to having a
winning attitude and doing better than most everyone else. These people are being
labeled as conceited, self-absorbed, too picky, full of themselves and not
being flexible and sometimes passive aggressive (Benimati, 2017).
When you are with
such personalities, you oftentimes get stressed or would want to breathe some
fresh air. There is a compulsion to go away since there might come a time that
your social etiquette would be fouled when you give retorts and create an
argument which you could never win. They will make their own stands even if
they already know that they are NOT correct. Again, they do not want defeat.
Research studies
suggest that there are different kinds of self-esteem. Some people may have a
secure sense of self, regardless of the situation, whereas others may have
unstable or fragile self-esteem that varies depending on their last
accomplishment or whom they are able to impress. When they are doing well, they
feel great and even superior to others, whereas when they encounter setbacks,
they tend to feel shame and self-doubt. This results in anxiety and vigilance
around social status and performance. They have to keep comparing themselves to
others to make sure they are measuring up and haven't fallen behind (Greenberg,
2011).
What made them?
Greenberg continued
that these types have a survival mentality and may be jealous and controlling.
The basis for this is often a deep insecurity about having their emotional
needs met. They may have had parents who were critical, played favorites, or
were unavailable or inattentive to their emotional needs.
Some competitive
people may be pathologically narcissistic and self-centered, not seeing you as
a separate human being, but more as a reflection or extension of themselves, a source
of admiration for their accomplishments, a potential threat to their own
success, or as an object to use or manipulate in order to meet their own needs
or increase their resources.
Generally, people who
are competitive about their houses, kids, dinner parties and so on are either
insecure or arrogant and want to prove superiority. If they are the insecure
type, praising their accomplishments and staying calm and friendly may make
them see you as an ally or as less of a threat. If they are arrogant, you may
want to speak up and toot your own horn as well or change the subject when they
start boasting. Arrogant people tend to be narcissistic and status-conscious,
so if you exude confidence and appear to have high status and accomplishments,
they are more likely to respect you.
But then, these areas
of encounters could be wearisome. We are free to choose whom to affiliate with.
We could not concede to their illnesses all the time and consider our own space
as well. We are not obliged to praise them and tell them things to widen their
ego. We have our own lives to live we could let them live their own pathetic
ways.
Yet, we have our
social responsibilities as well. We nurture children for them to grow loved and
respected. We displace care and affection to create wider areas of positive
energies. We revisit our personalities for us to monitor and evaluate our inner
battles and heal the wounded child within.
But if we can’t; if we
continue to compete in an unhealthy manner, we must endure the brand of being
UNSTABLE. “Way gajod makalupos kay...(silently
circles the forefinger on the side of the head)”
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