Energy

Dugyom pa sa alkitran. Hiding behind the well-painted offices are people whose darkness are creating negative vibrations in every space. The offices start to become suffocating to the point that stressful thoughts are translated into activities which could dampen the spirit and the soul. These vibrations become gossip, envy, anger and foul words and even violent actions.

In Physics, the gravitational potential energy which keeps two pieces of matter in contact with one another must be negative since it takes positive energy to pull them apart. Considering the universe to be approximately uniform, one can show that the total negative gravitational energy in it would exactly cancel out the total positive energy represented by matter. Hence the universe as a whole has zero total energy in it.

Let us revisit the space (or the office) where we are located. That particular “universe” as a whole has zero total energy in it. What happens when someone comes in bringing positive energy in the space? There is a tendency that the space is going to be happier and full of bursting expectations and possibilities. On the other hand, how sad and depressing could be a certain space when it will be filled with negative energy from people whose souls are tainted with all the bitterness in the world?

A fact about life that we quickly learn is that energy ebbs and flows. Something else that we learn quickly is that outside influences can affect our energy state. Positive energy is absolutely contagious, but so is negative energy. It’s this understanding that allows us to be proactive in determining our state of mind and energy (Tsi, 2017)

According to powerofpositivity.com, energy also has a multiplier effect. If we are in good spirits and in a positive state of mind, we’re much more likely to remain in this state. But then again, the same applies for negative energy. This is why it’s so important to vigilantly guard ourselves from being sucked into a “vortex” of negativity.

The article also mentions: For those that have been in a negative work environment, for example, they’ve felt the underlying tension and collective unhappiness that permeates a group of people. It’s no coincidence that over 75% of people disdain what they do for work – many workplaces are dreaded by the vast majority that occupies it.

So, there is indeed a big impact in your health, productivity and even well-being once you will be inside an area where negative energy is overpowering. It is a sad reality that there are people in this world who create such darkness which eventually can create a bad impact in our own lives.

Therefore, it is good for us to steer clear from the negative-emitting people around us. We simply could detach from them since they do not give us something except for all the illnesses in spirit and body. If they are work companions, we simply could be civil on our tasks with all the good intentions in us. We could put a positive armor of positive energy in our and them to rot with their negativity.

Simple Mathematics allow us to see that the more positive the value compared to the negative one, the positive value would always come out in the equation.

You experience and create all kinds of different energies that affect how you feel and what you accomplish throughout your day. Some energies are powerful and easily recognizable, while others are more subtle and often only intuitively felt. The things you say, the things you think, the things you do—even the things you don’t do—all produce energy that impacts you and the people around you. If you work on creating more positive energy, you’ll see improvements in your life and you’ll touch more lives than you thought possible (Deschene, 2018).

In brief, almost all negativity has its roots in one of three deep-seated fears: the fear of being disrespected by others, the fear of not being loved by others, and the fear that “bad things” are going to happen. These fears feed off each other to fuel the belief that “the world is a dangerous place and people are generally mean.” These, according to Raghunathan (2013) are the main reasons why people are so negative. They are feeding on fear.

Also, there are those whose fears have materialized. They are not loved by their supposedly “loved ones”. There are those who are being disrespected due to their inadequacies. And of course, a lot have been subjected to being victimized by their own consequences and are incapable of bouncing back.

We must not allow them to taint our lives with their energies. We shield ourselves with a positive force field that won’t let their negative powers inside. We cling to the divine whose positive light is encompassing. Their distress must not affect our positive spirit.

Let light in you become overpowering that your space is going to be filled with it!

Copycat

Mangopyahay. It is saddening to see your work being claimed by others as theirs. There is this weight in the heart which lingers when you see the things you conceptualized being enjoyed by others claiming it as theirs.

Human beings often mimic or imitate others unconsciously. Mimicry has social benefits. Imitating others helps build rapport between two people or bond together social groups. Copying others, more broadly, can range from non-conscious processes whereby perception (seeing others engage in a certain behavior) becomes directly linked to our own behavior, to conscious strategies, where we choose to imitate either because we’re uncertain about the best course of action or because we want to fit in (Samson, 2012).

But in many instances, the one with the intellectual process of conceptualizing stuff and copied by others feel uncomfortable and others often get angry since they feel betrayed being robbed with the ownership of such output of the “creative process.” Instead of feeling privileged of being “idolized” the original creator often get offended.

New research by White and Argo (2011) demonstrates what may happen in those types of situations. While an imitated person can feel and behave positively towards the mimicker (being copied is flattering!), reactions are often different from people who are aware of being copied and feel that their distinctiveness is being compromised.

This might be another case of selfishness. The copycats do not consider the creator since the important thing is to feed the deficit in him/her. Take for example the petty quarrels happening in social media sites when others grabbed photographs claiming them as theirs not recognizing the original owner. The copycats do not mind…They say “sorry” but they are actually not.

Once unattended, the petty copycat activities might lead to a disorder.

Mirroring occurs when people with Personality Disorders have a vacant or distorted self-image, which can manifest itself as an imitation of another person’s speech, mannerisms, behaviors, dress style, purchase preferences or daily habits.

In more extreme manifestations of this behavior, the person doing the mirroring might begin to believe they actually are the other person, to the extent they might call themselves by their name, claim to be them or ‘borrow’ elements of the other person’s life such as relationships, past experiences, career or family history and claim these as their own (Johnson, 2014).

There is nothing wrong about being inspired by an event or a person. But to deprive of the person of the credits of his/her original creation is another story. There are those who may say that “NO ONE has the ownership of an idea or a concept” but others really see them as something NOT good. If deficits are being filled, people these days see the intentions and would see warning signs in their heads about the personality of the ones copying others.

Imitate long enough, and imitate hard enough, and there won’t be much innovation left in you or your spirit. Constant imitation means you’ll rarely take risks. It means you will wait for someone else to blaze trails. Imitators are always one, two or five steps behind. They have to wait for the next product, approach or strategy to be revealed. Then they madly copy. If you are always imitating, your trajectory will never be greater than the person you’re copying. Ever. It will always be a shadow of theirs (Nieuwhof, 2017).

People who constantly imitate rarely innovate.

So, when an event or party is thrown, post the photos on the sites giving credits to the hosts not as if you were the one to organize and created the event. When you dine out and someone invited you, give thanks through the post and do not feign wealth by grabbing pictures and posting them as if you went to the place when in fact, you did not. It is NOT healthy.

Intellectual properties must also be respected. Copyright is based on the idea that we are all entitled to the fruits of our labors. It is the ownership of intellectual property. Copyright is a legal concept giving the creator of an original work of authorship exclusive rights to it, usually for a limited time, after which the work enters the public domain. Generally, it is "the right to copy," but also gives the copyright holder the right to be credited for the work, to determine who may adapt the work to other forms, who may perform the work, who may financially benefit from it, etc.

In the end, it is our original creations and concepts which could be considered as our own footprints in this journey we call LIFE.

High Quality

Lingap. People work to get something out from the job. The major thing is of course, money. But money could be considered as the reward for working hard. This is when professionalism comes in. We practice our profession and get paid for the work we have extended. The supervisors then see to it that the money given to the workers meet up with the expected outputs.... There are also people who work for service. They see themselves as harbingers of change that they do not seek for anything in return. Their satisfaction is on their contribution to make things happen.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines professionalism as "the conduct, aims, or qualities that characterize or mark a profession or a professional person;" and it defines a profession as "a calling requiring specialized knowledge and often long and intensive academic preparation." These definitions imply that professionalism encompasses a number of different attributes, and, together, these attributes identify and define a professional.

The mindtools.com says that professionals get the job done. They're reliable, and they keep their promises. If circumstances arise that prevent them from delivering on their promises, they manage expectations up front, and they do their best to make the situation right. Professionals don't make excuses, but focus on finding solutions.

Yet, inside offices we have persons who simply work to get the time by. They project superficial movements as if to tell the world that they are busy. They are actually unproductive. Their main motivation is the reward of the job not the outcome of the task. They often do haphazard work to the point that the outputs are not of quality. They are driven with other “personal” stuff to the point that their jobs are secondary.

Yes, we work for ourselves but there are jobs which directly affect people. We could not be hasty in dealing with them since they are not objects to be dismissed. The term public service must be put into practice rather than a façade created to win the affection and attention of others.

Professionalism is more than a list of desired behaviors and codes of ethics. It is the means by which a profession keeps its social contract with society. The profession "professes" to the public that it will be altruistic, competent, self-regulating, trustworthy and address societal concerns. In return, it is granted autonomy, prestige and financial rewards (Belar, 2013).

Quality time, service and outcomes are things that our clients need. We need to focus on them not just on the things that we could get out from our jobs. How many leaders are out there feeding on their deficits? They are making their jobs as platforms of satisfying their unmet needs like fame, power and the like. How many “public servants” are the ones being served by the public? How many educators are out there seeing the kids as JOBS rather than human beings? There are even those who feed on their innocence to fill in the need for power.

According to Thompson (2012), one must be brilliant at building rapport and developing trust. Without professionalism you will end up missing an important link that will have people saying "yes, he is very nice and friendly, but he doesn't know what he is talking about."  This is not good!  Professionalism includes being prepared, having confidence in yourself, and being experienced and possessing expertise on the task you are doing.

It is insulting and irritating to see one’s efforts to be placed on the trash by some companions who put the institution in bad light. Many people who could be considered as incompetent are actually imprisoned with psychological malfunctions according to clinical psychologists. There is a need to revisit the psychological makeup of the person prior to the assignment of a certain task since a domino effect will happen which could damage an organization.

At work, people are expected to behave in a manner that positively reflects on their company, and unprofessional behavior negates this standard, disrupting work environment.

It is in this anchorage when we must put into the system and individual mindsets the direction (or mission) of our company or organization. We take control of our individual needs and allow help from others in identifying our deficits. It is only in dealing with the INNER person when we could displace quality outputs for the people surrounding us.

Playing Victim

Dinaug-daog kuno. To create a façade of doing the right things, there are those who would play VICTIMS. They post sad comments telling that they are alright despite the persecution others are doing towards them. But in reality, they are the ones persecuting and causing a lot of pain and anxiety to others.

Individuals who habitually indulge in self-victimization (also known as playing the victim) do so for various reasons: to control or influence other people’s thoughts, feelings and actions; to justify their abuse of others; to seek attention; or, as a way of coping with situations. Although they can actually change circumstances to avoid being victimized, they won’t seize the opportunity because they want to play the role and appear as victims to others and themselves (Davies, 2012).

People, especially adults, know what is good and not. Due to drives and unmet needs, there are those whose actions would lead towards doing acts which could be considered unaccepted. Instead of dealing with the mistakes, some justify their actions through playing victims. They trash and squirm to their friends and air out their “pains” on being judged and accused of things the “do not” do.

The victim mentality can display itself in a variety of ways. People who play the role of a victim believe everything that happens to them is completely out of their control, therefore, it is never their responsibility. They blame others when bad things happen to them and they have an extremely negative outlook on life. They are resistant to help and respond to any advice or assistance with reasons why it won’t work and explanations as to why the problem is unsolvable (Brown, 2018).

There is this person who sought a lot of favors and borrowing clothes from his friends, then by the time the real owners want them back, the culprit then create stories that he is being persecuted…that he is being talked behind his back. Prof Kets de Vries says that, although this behavior can be counter-intuitive, manipulative and damaging, a "victim" may be genuinely unaware of his own complicity in his problems, and his secondary gain may be subconscious. Meaning, this could be another mental health issue.

Most of the time, a “victim” has trouble accepting they contributed to a problem and accepting responsibility for the circumstance that they are in. Instead, they point the finger, or simply ignore their role in perpetuating the problem. They are not overtly saying “I’m a victim”, but instead indirectly sending the message that they’re martyrs.

The victim grates on you with a poor-me attitude, and is allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. People are always against them, the reason for their unhappiness. They portray themselves as unfortunates who demand rescuing (Orloff, 2012).

Since they are in our surrounding, there are instances that we are being trapped by their selfish (or unintended) deeds. We are being portrayed as the villain of their lives where in reality, we are the ones to be used by them to feed on their inadequacies. We might dismiss the slight things since they are manageable but what if the so-called VICTIMS succeed in portraying us AS THE DEVIL?

We can do the right thing. Mahatma Gandhi says: “A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or, what is worse, to avoid trouble.” Kind but firm limit setting is healthy. People must take responsibility for their own lives. You’re not in the business of fixing anyone. Enabling always backfires. Without limits, a relationship isn’t on equal ground; and no one wins.

Also, the truth must prevail. Although truth hurts, we could tell these people how they make us feel and how they disturb the balance of our environment. We sometimes do not do this since we want to avoid trouble. But they must not feel that they are always correct. We could not square a circle. We must spill the beans!

Enough. This might be our mantra especially when we see that these people are doing harm to ourselves and companions. We could NOT allow such negative activities thrive in our ecology.

We fight back!

Wrong Crowd

Yaot na kaiban. The wrong kind of people. This could come up inside one’s mind and it may sound prejudicial. But based on keen observation, a person could infer and take educational cues that the values of the person he is connecting with is the wrong kind. This entails the development of character traits not attuned to what their parents are expecting. Parental intervention on the affiliations of their kids must be of importance. You see, the efforts to straighten a child’s character could be bent by outside forces. These might be the people whom the child affiliate with.

Lumenlearning.com mentions that Individual behavior and decision making can be influenced by the presence of others. There are both positive and negative implications of group influence on individual behavior. For example, group influence can often be useful in the context of work settings, team sports, and political activism. However, the influence of groups on the individual can also generate negative behaviors.

Psychologists say that Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people, in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an incorrect or deviant decision-making outcome.

Meaning, the people whom the child link with have great influences on what he/she thinks and these will be the foundation of character. It has always been a mistake of parents on NOT monitoring the people whom the kid is joining and befriending. They think that they know their kids well but they do not focus on the outside forces hounding on the children.

Here are some thoughts to ponder: The people we choose to spend our time with, as well as the ones we have no choice but to see, can have a tremendous impact on us. You can begin to internalize other people’s voices, as you start to believe the horrible things they say. You can probably think of at least one person in your life who always leaves you wishing that you hadn’t met up with them. Sometimes the best thing to do about them is to remove them from your life (Mendoza, 2018).

That is the point. We could not stop respecting but we could disallow others to manipulate our thought-patterns and values which might be inconsistent to the universal values and the ones our parents are holding on. Yes, families, like organizations, must adhere to their mission statements, their vision and CORE VALUES. The lives of the people in our families could be affected greatly without such.

It is a messianic thought to have positive psychological environments since we could not control the orientations and experiences of others which cascade to their children. But we have our areas of responsibility whom we have a sense of control.

We can stop giving negative people too much power in our life. We must guard our time. Negative people can monopolize your time - even when they're not with you - if you're not careful. We need to choose our attitude. Spending time with negative people can be the fastest way to ruin a good mood. Refocus your thoughts.

But these things could not be understood by children if we do not guide them well. Out there, some people are sick, self-righteous and self-centered. They may look kind but they just want something out from your kids- a filler of their deficits, a distraction, someone to bully, someone to apply their “power”, an object to be possessed or someone to fill in a blank…

We allow our kids to those friends who could nurture. Those companions who will not spoil but empower. We expose our kids to friends whose values are consistent to our family values…

This is not prejudice but common sense.

In her bestselling book “positive Discipline”, Jane Nelsen, Ed.D. says: When children (and adults) develop more social interest (concern for others, their community, and their environment) and learn methods and problem-solving skills to act on their own concern, we will have peace in the world.

In a micro scale, we could continue dealing with the young through positive guidance and eventually become a contributor of goodness in a macro level.