Yaot na kaiban. The
wrong kind of people. This could come up inside one’s mind and it may sound
prejudicial. But based on keen observation, a person could infer and take
educational cues that the values of the person he is connecting with is the
wrong kind. This entails the development of character traits not attuned to
what their parents are expecting. Parental intervention on the affiliations of
their kids must be of importance. You see, the efforts to straighten a child’s character
could be bent by outside forces. These might be the people whom the child
affiliate with.
Lumenlearning.com
mentions that Individual behavior and decision making can be influenced by the
presence of others. There are both positive and negative implications of group
influence on individual behavior. For example, group influence can often be
useful in the context of work settings, team sports, and political activism.
However, the influence of groups on the individual can also generate negative
behaviors.
Psychologists
say that Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of
people, in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in
an incorrect or deviant decision-making outcome.
Meaning,
the people whom the child link with have great influences on what he/she thinks
and these will be the foundation of character. It has always been a mistake of
parents on NOT monitoring the people whom the kid is joining and befriending. They
think that they know their kids well but they do not focus on the outside
forces hounding on the children.
Here
are some thoughts to ponder: The people we choose to spend our time with, as
well as the ones we have no choice but to see, can have a tremendous impact on
us. You can begin to internalize other people’s voices, as you start to believe
the horrible things they say. You can probably think of at least one person in
your life who always leaves you wishing that you hadn’t met up with them.
Sometimes the best thing to do about them is to remove them from your life
(Mendoza, 2018).
That
is the point. We could not stop respecting but we could disallow others to
manipulate our thought-patterns and values which might be inconsistent to the
universal values and the ones our parents are holding on. Yes, families, like
organizations, must adhere to their mission statements, their vision and CORE
VALUES. The lives of the people in our families could be affected greatly
without such.
It
is a messianic thought to have positive psychological environments since we
could not control the orientations and experiences of others which cascade to
their children. But we have our areas of responsibility whom we have a sense of
control.
We
can stop giving negative people too much power in our life. We must guard our time.
Negative people can monopolize your time - even when they're not with you - if
you're not careful. We need to choose our attitude. Spending time with negative
people can be the fastest way to ruin a good mood. Refocus your thoughts.
But
these things could not be understood by children if we do not guide them well.
Out there, some people are sick, self-righteous and self-centered. They may look
kind but they just want something out from your kids- a filler of their
deficits, a distraction, someone to bully, someone to apply their “power”, an
object to be possessed or someone to fill in a blank…
We
allow our kids to those friends who could nurture. Those companions who will
not spoil but empower. We expose our kids to friends whose values are
consistent to our family values…
This
is not prejudice but common sense.
In
her bestselling book “positive Discipline”, Jane Nelsen, Ed.D. says: When
children (and adults) develop more social interest (concern for others, their
community, and their environment) and learn methods and problem-solving skills
to act on their own concern, we will have peace in the world.
In a
micro scale, we could continue dealing with the young through positive guidance
and eventually become a contributor of goodness in a macro level.
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