Fear of Missing Out

Sika silib mo ton telepono! As of 2019, the average daily social media usage of internet users worldwide amounted to 144 minutes per day, up from 142 minutes in the previous year. Currently, the country with the most time spent on social media per day is the Philippines, with online users spending an average of three hours and 53 minutes on social media each day. In comparison, the daily time spent with social media in the U.S. was just two hours and three minutes. This is reported by J. Clement on February of this year via Statista.

Relationships are created and destroyed on these sites. There are even instances that the social media portals are unhealthy to those whose personalities are not founded on mature psychological roots. Envy and self-pity sprout as these persons look at the posts and adventures of their virtual friends. At the back of their minds they are saying: Why can’t I have a similar life like theirs? Not realizing that the posts can be blown out of proportion or simply projected/induced by those who post them.

The fear of missing out (FOMO) refers to the feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are. It involves a deep sense of envy and affects self-esteem. It is often exacerbated by social media sites like Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

Scott (2020) mentions that social media has accelerated the FOMO phenomenon in several ways. It provides a situation in which you are comparing your regular life to the highlights of others' lives. Therefore, your sense of "normal" becomes skewed and you seem to be doing worse than your peers. You might see detailed photos of your friends enjoying fun times without you, which is something that people may not have been so readily aware of in past generations.

Social media creates a platform for bragging; it is where things, events, and even happiness itself seems to be in competition at times. People are comparing their best, picture-perfect experiences, which may lead you to wonder what you are lacking.

That is the reason why some persons whom you do not expect to do things out of the ordinary do outrageous posts “just for fun”. Actually, they fear that they are missing out if they do not go with the flow. Some of them have to do it to feel they are in step with the present reality. There is nothing wrong about it as long as they are still in control with themselves… that the real SELF is still intact. But it is another story when these things cause anxiety or stress. These situations if undetermined and uncontrolled can lead to depression.

Some adults are wondering why a lot of kids these days are easily depressed. One of the valid reasons is that they are constantly exposed to social media sites and that they are prone to wonder why their lives are not as fabulous as their friends’. Most of them feel that they are missing out.

FOMO can be experienced by people of all ages, several studies have found. One study in the Psychiatry Research journal found that the fear of missing out was linked to a greater smartphone and social media usage and that this link was not associated with age or gender.

As technology enables us to stay more connected than ever, the addiction continues to grow. In fact, a new survey conducted by MyLife.com revealed 56% of people are afraid of missing out on events, news and important status updates if they are away from social networks.

One of the things that we need to understand as well is that there is what we call as the SILENT OBSERVERS in these platforms. They seem to be inactive in these sites but they are more prone to opening them so not to miss out. They feign nonchalance but they are more active compared to those who post shout outs, TikToks and pictures on the sites. They are following the movements of their virtual friends in an “inactive way”.

There are few articles about the ‘Silent Observers’ on Facebook according to Borkar (2015). There is power of having these quiet followers who read every post, see every content without clicking ‘Like’, ‘Comment’ or ‘Share’ no matter how engaging they might find the content. They simply judge and weigh your worth through your posts.

These silent observers are also on the verge of leading towards the unhealthy feeling and having the fear of missing out. They are part of that percentage that spend a lot of time scrolling up and down looking for information or the latest posts for the sake of observing and sometimes finding flaws and missteps. Then, they would feel good since the mistakes presented by others can soothe their own egos. They will then be assured that they are better than those they see erring on social media.

This writer considers these sites as spaces. They are like papers to be written; photo albums to be pasted with pictures and even a blank canvass to be painted. The “likes” and “dislikes” are not that important aside from the affirmation from friends and relatives. There are around 300 journals with a myriad of contents kept in a drawer. Nobody reads them. The contents are made for self-consumption and not for others' scrutiny or jealousy. Most of them are outputs of the processes created out from multiple inputs gained.

Social media fosters CONNECTION. Other than that can be another psychological discourse. Positive inputs, processing and outputs can be made. A balance of CONSUMPTION and CREATION can be done here. Anxiety, depression and envy caused by the fear of missing out must be avoided. One can even disconnect themselves from these sites. It won't kill you!

In the end, our mental health is our sole responsibility.