Of Interests and Needs

                              (image: interestinengineering.com)

Nag-uno kaw kuman? Psychologists believe that during times of uncertainty and empty hours, a person’s interest surfaces. The stuff that you are repeatedly doing during this lockdown is a representation of your needs, interests and coping mechanisms.

For many of us according to Abigail Brenner, M.D., aloneness is a negative state of being. Society doesn’t help us with this notion either; being alone often carries a social stigma, implying isolation, being on the outside. This perceived sense of aloneness seems to imply that being by one’s self is not volitional, or a choice we make, but rather an imposed state where a person is not socially engaged in the way that is somehow expected.

That is the reason why we try to cope. Coping refers to the human behavioral process for dealing with demands, both internal and external, in situations that are perceived as threats.

Anxiety comes in. This sometimes is related by others as boredom but it is actually not. It is rooted in fear. At the back of a person’s mind is the fear that s/he cannot do the things planned or stuff s/he is used to.

While some of us respond to anxiety by launching into “doing something” mode, others have the opposite reaction. For folks in this group, concentration becomes exceedingly difficult, mental and physical exhaustion creep in and productivity slows to a crawl. While this is a normal manifestation of nervousness, low productivity can affect every part of your day—including your work—causing even more anxiety.

Erika Boissiere (2020) says that to combat this, reserve a time of day for addressing your most vital to-dos. Make a list and circle your three most important tasks. This list is a contract with yourself—your top three get priority, take care of those immediately. If you get to the other stuff, that’s great, but don’t sweat it. Maybe most importantly, if you’re not getting as much accomplished as usual, forgive yourself: we’re in the middle of a pandemic and the word productive has taken on a new meaning.

There are also those who say “bahala na, que sera sera”.

The term bahala na, which can be translated to whatever happens, happens, is one of the more familiar phrases used in the country and is perhaps the most representative of how Filipinos value adaptability and quick thinking. It exemplifies one’s belief in a higher power and submitting one’s fate to elements that cannot be controlled. People who use the term bahala na do not see anything wrong with it, as it serves as a sort of positive affirmation that allows them to deal with a problem right then and there. However, those who do see it negatively often view it as a form of fatalistic submission or a way to absolve one from the responsibility of their actions (outsourceaccelerator.com, 2020).

And there are people whose unmet needs surface. Human needs theorists argue that one of the primary causes of protracted or intractable conflict is people's unyielding drive to meet their unmet needs on the individual, group, and societal level.

Needs, unlike interests, cannot be traded, suppressed, or bargained for. Thus, the human needs approach makes a case for turning away from traditional negotiation models that do not take into account nonnegotiable issues (Marker, 2003).

That is the reason why the NEED TO BE RECOGNIZED occurs in such trying times. Although this cannot be considered as negative especially if the actions addressing such need are helpful. Yet, there are those who dwell on the negative just to attain this need.

Most scholars and practitioners agree that issues of identity, security, and recognition, are critical in many or even most intractable conflicts. They may not be the only issue, but they are one of the important issues that must be dealt with if an intractable conflict is to be transformed. Ignoring the underlying needs and just negotiating the interests may at times lead to a short-term settlement, but it rarely will lead to long-term resolution. Yet, the main responsibility of looking into these needs must be the individuals themselves.

Since the Enhanced Community Quarantine has been extended, we have ample time to look into our interests, coping mechanisms and even our needs through a reflective manner.

We need a time of reckoning with our past and of putting down our life-long posture of social distancing. We should have time when we are less focused on who the government is or isn’t helping, and asking ourselves whether we truly know the names beneath the issues we discuss over dinner. We need a journey of collective repentance for our individualism, our elitism, and our white and western supremacy (Reeve, 2020).

And as a renewed individual, we can link to the society and rise again as better people.