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                                               (image: youtube.com)

Umay kuyang na pirme man naghanap na makilay-an? Affirmation is important. But when the need to be appreciated all the time is the main motivation for working and doing what is right surface, something is wrong.

Emotional Deprivation Disorder was first discovered by Dutch psychiatrist Dr. Anna A. Terruwe in the 1950’s. She called it the frustration neurosis as it has to do with the frustration of the natural sensitive need for unconditional love.

Emotional Deprivation Disorder is a syndrome (a grouping of symptoms) which results from a lack of authentic affirmation and emotional strengthening by another. A person may have been criticized, ignored, abandoned, neglected, abused, or emotionally rejected by primary caregivers early in life, resulting in the person’s arrested emotional development.

It is absolutely true that we all need our friends, family, and partner to offer us recognition, but not in an obsessive and continuous way, because then what shows is a clear insecurity in the person. And then, one cornerstone of self-esteem would be falling apart.

Recognition is necessary for human beings. It helps people grow with assurance. However, it is also necessary that we exercise it inside ourselves, making it rise up like an inner locomotive capable of giving us confidence, strength, and stability.

A powerful, authentic leader does not need recognition to feel good. They know that their skills, approaches and leadership are making a difference. They get on with the job, leaving self-consciousness behind, negating the need for others to confirm how great they are.

Recognition is now seen as a necessity in our people strategy and yet the need for it not only creates a population of people who feel vulnerable and insecure, it also creates rebellion and a "them and us" situation when reward schemes are set in place to highlight a minority (Villani, 2013).

Self-awareness, and self-recognition might be the solution to the growing social conflicts. Maturity of emotions and can be done only with more reflections and the realization that what counts here in this world are good intentions and their outcomes…not just the awards we receive for doing what is expected of us.