(image: youtube.com)
Umay kuyang na pirme man
naghanap na makilay-an? Affirmation is important. But
when the need to be appreciated all the time is the main motivation for working
and doing what is right surface, something is wrong.
Emotional
Deprivation Disorder was first discovered by Dutch psychiatrist Dr. Anna A.
Terruwe in the 1950’s. She called it the frustration neurosis as it has to do
with the frustration of the natural sensitive need for unconditional love.
Emotional
Deprivation Disorder is a syndrome (a grouping of symptoms) which results from
a lack of authentic affirmation and emotional strengthening by another. A
person may have been criticized, ignored, abandoned, neglected, abused, or
emotionally rejected by primary caregivers early in life, resulting in the
person’s arrested emotional development.
It
is absolutely true that we all need our friends, family, and partner to offer
us recognition, but not in an obsessive and continuous way, because then what
shows is a clear insecurity in the person. And then, one cornerstone of
self-esteem would be falling apart.
Recognition
is necessary for human beings. It helps people grow with assurance. However, it
is also necessary that we exercise it inside ourselves, making it rise up like
an inner locomotive capable of giving us confidence, strength, and stability.
A
powerful, authentic leader does not need recognition to feel good. They know
that their skills, approaches and leadership are making a difference. They get
on with the job, leaving self-consciousness behind, negating the need for
others to confirm how great they are.
Recognition
is now seen as a necessity in our people strategy and yet the need for it not
only creates a population of people who feel vulnerable and insecure, it also
creates rebellion and a "them and us" situation when reward schemes
are set in place to highlight a minority (Villani, 2013).
Self-awareness,
and self-recognition might be the solution to the growing social conflicts. Maturity
of emotions and can be done only with more reflections and the realization that
what counts here in this world are good intentions and their outcomes…not just
the awards we receive for doing what is expected of us.
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