The Demise of Civility

 

   

(image: youtube.com)

There’s this thought-provoking discussion on Oprah’s podcast about the apparent demise of civility among people. A potent question was raised: “Why are people so mean these days?” We see it everywhere. Some customers yell at food servers and even destroy computers simply because their orders are late. Passengers on airplanes scream obscenities at flight attendants, while others kick the seats in front of them out of frustration. Ordinary inconveniences, it seems, have become excuses for extraordinary cruelty.

There are theories that people behave this way because of the difficult experiences they have carried from where they came from (i.e. work-related stress, family problems). But can that really be an excuse? Others point to the stress brought about by everything happening around us, especially our constant exposure to the rapid flow of information on social media. But perhaps we should also acknowledge that, to some extent, this stress is a consequence of our own indulgence in being constantly online.

Research on social media overload suggests that the sheer volume of information, interactions, and digital demands can leave people mentally exhausted. It raises an interesting question: Are we stressed by the world around us, or by our constant decision to remain connected to it? (Fu et al., 2020)

When social media came into our lives, people began to experience a kind of “power” they had never felt before. They could express themselves freely, voice opinions to a wide audience, and reveal aspects of their character, including their rudeness and hostility, with fewer reservations. In time, seeing others behave this way made such conduct easier to imitate. What was once restrained by social norms gradually became normalized.

There is also the question of personality, upbringing, and family background. These may shape how people respond to stress and conflict. When the right trigger comes, perhaps what emerges is not an entirely different person, but a side of them that has been shaped by years of experience and conditioning. If so, we are left with an uncomfortable question: Are some of the behaviors we see today also reflections of how people were taught to handle frustration, disagreement, and other people?

Perhaps the real question is not why people have become so mean, but why we have become so comfortable with it. Stress may explain our anger, social media may amplify it, and our past may shape it, but none of these should excuse cruelty.

Civility is ultimately a choice. In a world that is becoming increasingly loud and hostile, choosing kindness may be one of the quietest yet most powerful forms of strength.