Look Who's Talking!

 

                                                (image: youtube.com)
 

There are people who sound preachy. They are quick to point out the shortcomings of others, sometimes using public platforms to call attention to their mistakes. Such communication can make others uncomfortable, particularly those who know the speaker well. The message may even invite questions about whether the speaker practices the very principles being promoted. After all, adults generally respond better to being treated with respect than to being told repeatedly what is right or wrong. The more one insists on correcting others, the more one's own conduct may come under scrutiny.

Psychologically, preachy communication can have different motivations. In some cases, it may serve as a defense mechanism through which people redirect attention away from their own shortcomings. In others, it may reflect a desire to assert authority or establish a sense of superiority. However, such interpretations should not be applied indiscriminately, as the same behavior may also stem from sincere concern or habitual communication patterns. In empowerment and capacity-building sessions, facilitators are therefore encouraged to avoid overly prescriptive approaches and instead apply the principles of adult learning. The aim is to encourage critical thinking, not merely to deliver instructions.

Adult learning theory emphasizes autonomy, prior experience, and the practical relevance of learning. When communication becomes judgmental or controlling, it may discourage participation and reflection. Speakers can create more meaningful learning experiences by encouraging dialogue, examining real-life situations, and allowing listeners to draw insights from their own experiences rather than imposing conclusions (Knowles et al., 2015).

Reflective practice offers another way to examine how we communicate. Writing down our thoughts and revisiting them over time can help us identify recurring patterns in our judgments, assumptions, and expressions. Through journaling, we can assess whether our words genuinely invite reflection or have gradually become prescriptive. Revisiting our own thoughts with greater distance may reveal tendencies that were less apparent when we first expressed them.

Perhaps the value of reflection lies in learning to examine our own thoughts as carefully as we examine those of others. Not every observation needs to become a lesson, and not every opinion needs to be publicly expressed. Sometimes, sharing a perspective and allowing others to arrive at their own conclusions can be more meaningful than telling them what to think or do. After all, there is a subtle but important difference between offering an insight and positioning oneself as the authority on wisdom.