Unclean

Panuyay! This is the term used by many people when they encounter people whose intentions are so dark they often bring discomfort to the lives of others. These persons see the negative side of everything there is nothing good and beautiful on the situations they experience and encounter. Their hearts are susceptible with the presence of evil since they attract its energy in their hearts. They would then become the vessel of all the darkness in the world and they are the instruments to wreak havoc among peace-loving individuals.

The bible uses a single word which causes evil to thrive inside the heart: “defile.” It is this word that Jesus uses to introduce and conclude the passage: “Things that come out of a person defile him”; and then, “All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person,” (Callam, 2018)

If the heart of a person is corrupted or full of anger, envy and other extreme things, the possibility of it being defiled is high. This is the time when hate and the incapacity to appreciate blessings and persons thrive inside the person. Evil then nurtures such feelings so that it multiplies and be radiated to others. If goodness could be seen in a person (or happiness, well-being, etc.), evil won’t sleep. It will find ways and means to shatter such equilibrium. The instrument (the defiled person) will then bring confusion, pain and even oppression to others to become victorious.

‘Evil’ people are those who are unable to empathize with others. As a result, their own needs and desires are of paramount importance. They are selfish, self-absorbed and narcissistic. In fact, other people only have value for them to the extent that they can help them satisfy their own desires, or to which they can exploit them. This applies to dictators like Stalin and Hitler, and to serial killers and rapists (Taylor, 2017).

Paul Thagard, Ph.D. says, non-psychopaths can do evil things because of neural, psychological, and environmental effects. Thinking can fail to produce good moral judgments when people forget about relevant values that ought to contribute to their processing of emotional coherence. Empathy deficits can result from stress, fatigue, or alcohol, and psychological malfunction contributing to the neglect of the needs of others.

These people thrive in evil deeds since there are deficits in their childhood. According to the DSM 4-TR,"The essential feature of Antisocial Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood." (p. 701)

There are those who often argue that people can control their urges or understand their deficits when they reach adulthood. This is true but there are also those whose hunger is intense that their cravings could NEVER be satisfied unless treated or addressed with clinical interventions. In simple terms, they have become “crazy” since they are being engulfed to do evil deeds despite the efforts of others to spread positivism.

So, the next potent question to ask is: Can evil be toppled by being good?

‘Good,’ Taylor continued, means a lack of self-centeredness. It means the ability to empathize with other people, to feel compassion for them, and to put their needs before your own. It means, if necessary, sacrificing your own well-being for the sake of others’. It means benevolence, altruism and selflessness, and self-sacrifice towards a greater cause - all qualities which stem from a sense of empathy. It means being able to see beyond the superficial difference of race, gender or nationality and relate to a common human essence beneath them.

There are also people who look for goodness and positive meaning of their existence. They shy away from negative energies and consider displacing love, affection and understanding. These individuals are well-loved and they often attract people who need advice, attention and affection. They are those whose spirits are nurtured by service and generosity.

We delete evil in our surrounding by pushing the evil ones to the hell in this earth they truly deserve. We clear our front and back yards with weeds that could defile our temples. We welcome goodness by embracing the people who help us clean our vessels so that we could arrive to our destinations where flowers bloom and smiles decorate the environs.

“The way we read another person’s intentions changes our physical experience of the world,” said researcher and University of Maryland Assistant Professor Kurt Gray. His study found good intentions can soothe pain, increase pleasure, and even make cookies and candy taste sweeter.

With this, we eradicate pain by being good and BEING WITH GOOD.

Reject

Nagpabilib. Acceptance and affirmation are two things needed by human beings to keep motivated. These things allow us to stretch our capacities to be able to give and do what we have so to “function”. But, if the act of functioning is motivated by the hunger to be affirmed and appreciated is another story.

Most children were taught from a young age to seek approval from their parents for the things they said or did. Since the need for approval, love and acceptance from our parents is strong, we become conditioned over time to seek approval from others as well. Whenever we don’t receive approval from someone who is not our parent, there is an automatic trigger and desire to win it back (eruptingmind.com).

Social creatures by nature, we are linked to each other from birth to death.  Social scientists have long recognized the critical function relatedness plays, from the bonding and attachment so vital in infancy to the central role being actively involved in the lives of others plays for the elderly.

The quest for validation underlies our attempts to project a “put together” image to others.  We expend significant amounts of energy in “impression management”, wanting others to think highly of us, to like us (Gentry, 2018).

Many people in our society seem to be hooked in getting the approval of others to the point that they could not say NO to them even if they are already exhausted. This will trigger depression and the weakening of the immune system that can trigger illnesses. The central question is: What causes people to hunger for appreciation and acceptance?

Many people waste much of their life obsessively catering to others, doing things against their better judgment, jeopardizing the welfare of self, friends, family, and much more that they later come to regret. Unfortunately, many of us never really get at the root of why we act in such self-destructive ways (Cohen, 2015).

These might root from the childhood experience of being rejected. Parents play a great role in affirming small things their children do (i.e. appreciating their art works, telling them how good they are with their home works, etc.). Yet, since these things were also not experienced by the parents, a vicious cycle will happen to the family. A lot of parents won’t even attend significant school activities like recognition programs and recitals. A deep sense of craving for appreciation and acceptance will then be created in the young person's psyche.

Rejection from one's family of origin, typically parental rejection, may consist of abuse, abandonment, neglect, or the withholding of love and affection. This form of rejection is likely to affect an individual throughout life, and it may have serious consequences: One study found that, in the male members of the study, the perpetration of abuse in intimate relationships was associated with the experience of higher levels of parental rejection in childhood. Symptoms of post traumatic stress and deficits in social information processing were also linked (goodtherapy.org).

This discourse will then be centered to the parents and the individuals on how we digest such information in our own levels and apply in the inner self to create more positive areas around us. There is no need to exhaust ourselves beyond our limits just for others to "believe" in us. We work within our capacities and capabilities because we want to serve, not because we want to be affirmed. We DO things for the common good.

We can start dealing with the inner person through self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance is the antidote to fear — especially the fear of being seen as unworthy and then experiencing shame, rejection and exclusion. It decreases self-critical thoughts or self-shaming, making it easier to tolerate the experience of feeling ashamed when criticized or rejected by others.

Self-acceptance frees the mind from feelings of inadequacy and the self-blaming thoughts that lie at the heart of many experiences with anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, personality disorders and many others.

By doing so, we can deal with our strengths and limitations. There is no need for us to do things just to please others but DOING TASKS for the sake of their meaning and impact as self-contributions to positive change in the work place and eventually the country in general.

Learning self-compassion teaches you to focus your mind, brain and body to provide self-soothing, rather than repeating fear-provoking habits of negative thinking and self-judgment. By improving emotional regulation skills and managing your thoughts and behaviors in healthy ways you will learn to be calm and present for yourself — and others (West, 2018).

There is a better world than to think what to wear, what to post, what to say and what to do for the sake of allowing others appreciate you. Let us proceed to that venue!

Predator

Buayahon. There are those who observe keenly on the social movements looking for their prey. If they see younger people who are vulnerable, they pounce and consume their innocence. If they see others are born “different”, they call them names, laugh at them and feel powerful over the weaknesses of others. They become all-time bullies. When other people lack the aesthetics and wealth, they criticize their looks and status as if these are attached to them from birth… as if being NOT beautiful/handsome and poor are their mistakes.

Heinberg (2018) said that human groups have “preyed” upon one another via two main pathways—intragroup and intergroup—which have often intersected or run parallel. Members of a complex society can “prey” upon other members of the same society via slavery (including sex slavery and debt slavery), caste, class, taxes, rents, crime, and debt; on the other hand, one society can “prey” upon a different society through raid, invasion, plunder, conquest, colonization, or (again) debt. In addition, members of conquered “prey” societies can be enslaved by or absorbed into the “predator” society, becoming a permanent underclass.

Individual predators are those whose orientation and psychological makeup are skewed. There are those who were maltreated as a children with power and identity were snatched from them. It is in this constant need (to fill the gap) to have power over something or someone that they are pushed to become predators themselves.

The article of Heinberg continued that a complex or stratified human society can be thought of as an ecosystem. Within it, humans (all a single species), because of their differing social classes, roles, and occupations, can act, in effect, as different species. To the extent that some exploit others, we could say that some act as “predators,” others as “prey.”

We hear on the news how some older people snatch children and rape them (which they later kill and be dumped anywhere). We hear about teachers who lure their learners with food and clothes and later abuse them. We observe older men salivate over young girls to the point that they give catcalls and side-comments offensive to gender-equality.

Sexual predators have plenty of sexual experience but it is shallow.  Sex is a control operation for them.  They ordain the time and place of the encounter.  Seeking a conquest is the overriding aspect.  The perpetrator cares little what his “partner” experiences. The idea is to conquer a body, not have a relationship.  Achieving his objective provides him with a buildup.  He has sex on his mind a great deal of the time, looking at females or young males as potential targets (Samenow, 2017).

These days, we have the so-called iPredators. According to Nuccitelli (2006), iPredator is a person, group or nation who, directly or indirectly, engages in exploitation, victimization, coercion, stalking, theft or disparagement of others using Information and Communications Technology [ICT]. iPredators are driven by deviant fantasies, desires for power and control, retribution, religious fanaticism, political reprisal, psychiatric illness, perceptual distortions, peer acceptance or personal and financial gain.

They can be any age or gender and are not bound by economic status, race, religion or national heritage. iPredator is a global term used to distinguish anyone who engages in criminal, coercive, deviant or abusive behaviors using ICT. Central to the construct is the premise that Information Age criminals, deviants and the violently disturbed are psychopathological classifications new to humanity.

It is for this reason that individuals, parents, and child-protection advocates must be aware of the presence of such deviants. These persons might harm the well-being of the children and their future might be put at stake.

Individual reflections must also be taken by us. We might NOT be aware that we manifest symptoms of being a 21^st century predator as we consume the innocence of others; as we perform character assassination for our own benefit. We could create gossips so to make others become weaker than us. Or we might allow others feel helpless over the things which we make as crutches of power like our titles and position.

In the end, it is only our wisdom and knowledge that separate us. Yet with such, we could make cohesion exist as we continue to make ourselves be aware of the things around us and be a contributor of change. However small our movements are, we can create ripples.

Pensive

Hilom pero layom. Thoughts matter. In fact, thoughts are matter. Some physicists claim that in the Zero Point Field (ZPF) thoughts equal energy and energy equals matter, then thoughts become matter.

Daily, we think a lot. These things are sometimes our source of confidence since we can think of anything without the judgmental eyes people are giving to our actions. We plan inside our heads and we create our own ideas and judgments with our thoughts. We see things and events and these will become triggers of an array of thought patterns inside our minds.

According to the theory of the law of attraction, our thoughts are magnetic and have their own frequency and consequently when we think we emanate a frequency depending on the kind of thinking we have and for the fact that our thoughts are magnetic, we attract everything located on the same frequency.

So, there is a need for us to be aware of what we are thinking. A filter must be installed like an application software in our minds for us to be able to guide our thoughts and allow ourselves to be pulled towards a more beneficial force field. This is termed as mindfulness.

When we learn mindfulness, we gain the power of familiarizing ourselves with our thoughts and our patterns. We can get to know our critical inner voices, and we can start to recognize when these cruel thoughts start to surface. We can then choose to steer our minds away from these thoughts. We can see the thoughts as clouds passing in the sky, yet like a mountain, we can stand solid and allow them to float by without letting them overpower us or influence our behavior (Firestone, 2013).

Again, we try to reason out why people choose to dwell on negative thoughts. According to Locke (2018) lack of success could be the reason but this is due to many factors, but negativity is a main cause. Negative people usually think they are not smart enough, athletic enough, or good enough. But the real threat to their success is that their emotional intelligence is crippled by their often critical and confrontational manner. Their fear to be dismissed or not listened to is the reason why they under-achieve.

Robert Locke continued that moving outside the familiar world is anathema to those who are negative. They cannot face the possibility of more fear, discomfort, challenges or failure. They are thus never able to try out new experiences and are doomed to dwell in their dull and dreary comfort zone.

So how then could we master “mindfulness” of our thoughts?

How we relate to our thoughts has a big impact on how our day unfolds, and also how we approach triggers in our lives. By taking a few mindful moments, we can gain some space between us and our reactions, and have some freedom from what triggers us—we don’t have to respond the same way every time. It’s a practice in breaking our habitual negative responses by first tuning in to how a thought or action makes us feel, and how it generates certain storylines in our minds (Goldstein, 2016).

That is the reason why we need some quite moments with ourselves to be aware of what is going on inside our heads. There are those who write down their thoughts on their journals. Some also would sieve their thoughts and create some kind of a plan for them to do “something” about those things which are bothering them. Most of the people who try to master their thoughts simply tell us that they BREATHE. That is why some gravitate to yoga and meditations. They pacify inner turmoil.

Thoughts awareness is the foundation to changing a thought pattern. We may not even be aware of how often we have a negative thought pattern or comprehend its impact on our daily lives. Once we identify the patterns, we know what to target. Mindfulness thus serves as the fulcrum for action to deal with negative thoughts and emotions (Cho, 2016).

As people mature, there is a need to be a contributor of world peace. Others might laugh at the audacity of this but it is true. Physics supplement the theory that our actions are being mandated by the energy of our thoughts.

As what Mahatma Gandhi said: Your beliefs become your thoughts; your thoughts become your words; your words become your actions; your actions become your habits; your habits become your values…and your values become your destiny.

Malfunction of the Brain

Gwapa. The different parts of the Philippines reverberated with shouts of joy and glee when Catriona Gray was proclaimed Miss Universe 2018. “I knew it,” gesticulated someone on the verge of tears. “She is indeed fitting for the title because she is beautiful!”

Nugent (2013) says that beauty is the quality present or inherent in an object or person, making it a stimulus which positively elicits pleasure, admiration, and satisfaction as a response. This quality is either pleasing to the mind or desirable to the senses. Psychology Today says that here are some universal standards of beauty across the world. Symmetry in the face and the body, plus clear skin and youthfulness are preferred traits.

Since time immemorial beauty has been said to be in the eye of the beholder. Meaning, we perceive what is beautiful differently. Our own choices and stimuli for admiration might be on the physical feature or the character-trait of others. Therefore, to insist on your own definition or to label men and women based on the color of their skin, their race and sexual orientation could fall into bigotry.

When a certain representative of the country joins a beauty pageant, that person is selected by the committee to be the epitome of their country’s definition of beauty. Therefore, all the contestants who will join such events are beautiful. It is going to be a battle of personality, self-confidence, advocacy and intelligence. So, anybody could win the title whether he or she is dark-skinned or fair.

Already social media platforms are awash with reports of emboldened bigots verbally, and in some disturbing cases, physically assaulting people of color, Muslims, and members of the LGBTQI+ community (Sherlock, 2016). This could be alarming since education is still trying to straighten things out. Books on open-mindedness and convergence are published yet the hate continue to thrive. Educators are on the crossroads since cultural and religious convictions are still creating barriers to the openness of acceptance.

Others still prefer to see the stain on the white sheet and dwell on the negative parts of the whole. This attitude could be attributed to the orientation of the person. According to Robert Locke (2018), there is a neurological explanation as to why some people end up being so negative. It has to do with the part of the brain called the amygdala, which functions as an alarm and is constantly on the lookout for danger, fear and bad news. Such persons failed to develop the ability to evaluate and face up to problems which can counteract this mechanism. Ergo, they constantly look for the bad side of everything.

This might be the scientific explanation why others could not see beauty on poor people and dark-skinned ones. They equate beauty with symmetry, fair skin and even expensive clothes and things. They belittle those who could not afford proper dental care and moisturizers. They grimace on the imperfections of others and label them as ugly. They look at the persons with disabilities as persons who do not deserve to be called beautiful. They could not accept mainstreaming since their brains are incapable of such function.

Our society must cope with the dynamic transformations and the setting of norms. There is no one-size-fits-all definition of beauty since there are causal factors that allow us to evolve. Psychologically, we need to be healthy in terms of acceptance and controlling the animalistic side to overpower our sanity.

Catriona is beautiful. She deserves the crown. And we are beautiful too. The persons beside you have their innate beauty from the one who created them. They deserve to be appreciated as well.

In the end, what the heart speaks is what defiles. Those who are incapable of appreciation must be the one to be laughed at. They deserve the negative things they harbor. We allow them to wallow in their own distress and free ourselves from their hate.

Life is too short to dwell on the dark. We do not allow others define our own happiness and least, our BEAUTY.

Superficial

Bahala manlimbong basta daug! This is a concept being stood upon by people who are highly competitive that even if others see them as NOT deserving of the win, they do anything just be recognized. They do not consider waste of resources or hurt feelings since they are centered to the WIN. The problem with this mindset (or behavioral dysfunction) is that winning moments are fleeting. After the euphoria, another set of recognition is craved for... Unless the unhealthy ambition is confronted, the craving for recognition escalates to the point that their families and personal lives are affected.

Research studies suggest that there are different kinds of self-esteem. Some people may have a secure sense of self, regardless of the situation, whereas others may have unstable or fragile self-esteem that varies depending on their last accomplishment or whom they are able to impress. When they are doing well, they feel great and even superior to others, whereas when they encounter setbacks, they tend to feel shame and self-doubt. This results in anxiety and vigilance around social status and performance. They have to keep comparing themselves to others to make sure they are measuring up and haven't fallen behind (Greenberg, 2011).

This is the reason why these individuals see other people as their competitor. Since they are comparing themselves to others and they feel some sort of inadequacy of others’ successes, they often develop contempt towards the so-called competitor. They will even reach the point of putting others down through character assassination. They consider this as normal since they are driven with an abnormal urge to compete.

Psychology Today said that these individuals have a survival mentality and may be jealous and controlling. The basis for this is often a deep insecurity about having their emotional needs met. They may have had parents who were critical, played favorites, or were unavailable or inattentive to their emotional needs. This model does not take into account the fact that humans are inherently social beings and that connection and cooperation with larger social groups can increase our personal and environmental resources.

In our social encounters, you deal with a lot of people. And if ever you have a set of strengths others appreciate, the jealous and envious ones will pull you down. They are not comfortable with your winning moments and will find ways and means to surpass you with their own so-called recognition.

If we need recognition from others to feel good and we perceive that we don't get it, we get frustrated. This frustration can then lead to negative emotion, rebellion and, in some cases, ego driven childishness (Villani, 2013).

These people exist. We could not help their presence since they might be placed in our areas for us to strike a balance with ourselves. We could make them as an inevitable fact NOT worthy of emulation. Since we have blind spots, we might as well check whether we manifest the symptoms of being too ambitious like them or not. Striking a balance in our lives leads us to inner serenity and happiness.

We won’t allow them to take away our peace. Let them blame their parents for playing favorites and we wage our own battles. We often win them if our intentions are geared towards the common good. By doing so, even if we are not recognized, we are happy deep within. We are content that we are blooming where we are planted.

If they muddle with our efforts to be positive, allow them to be cooked with their envy. Let them succeed with their superficial moments while we thrive in love and affection with our family and loved ones.

Discovering that having things has little to do with obtaining peace can be a lifelong mission.  There are some people in the world that have more and some have less but as long as basic needs are met there is no correlation with the accumulation of wealth, material possessions, and peace.  Nothing from the outside seems to be able to bestow peace or contentment.

We nourish our beings within.

Rage

Who wouldn’t get bothered with real-life violence gone viral? Before, we could just hear things from secondhand information but with the influx of technological advancements, we see it materializing in front of our very eyes. We are then bombarded with one-sided comments, self-righteous ideas and others resort to the sick side of it all: gloating.

UNESCO reported currently that violent extremism is becoming a major challenge for many societies and is threatening the security and fundamental rights of citizens all over the world. Violent extremism is an affront to the principles of the United Nations, embodied in universal human rights and fundamental freedoms.

With the availability of violence on the internet, children are exposed to it to the point that it might become a norm. Parental intervention is considered but mobile phones are not the television sets before. Adults could not monitor their children every second of the day and most of the kids are stooped over their mobile gadgets most of their waking hours anytime, anywhere.

Another effect of the internet and other media is the “glamorized” stunts and confrontations. This is due to the available technology where special effects and production design are utilized to lure more customers to the products. Mistresses and the legal wives are exchanging stinging words in full make up and beautiful dresses. In the movies, the directors make sure that the stunts are visually-impressive and CGI (computer-generated images) are utilized to make the chase scenes and fistfights enjoyable.

So, the thin line between cinematic scenes and real-life drama is sometimes crossed. Take for example the one which is being ogled by the local community, the one where students in a local university display violence. These are some of the overheard quips:

·         “They are not that beautiful to create a fuss over something”. This might be an effect of the Wildflower confrontations where Maja Salvador and Aiko Melendez scream at each other and pull each other’s’ hair in full regalia.

·         “Isn’t the violent girl too fat?” Body shaming is existing since the ones who play roles in the teleseryes are either thin or went under the knife and laser.

·         “The kicking scene is clumsy, too bad!” Of course, Wonder Woman, The Girl in the Dragon Tattoo and the X-men gals display lithe and aesthetic movements when they fight.

·         “I could not see their faces!” This is as if the real-life violence requires professional cinematography!

These comments could be disturbing. First, violence is not normal. It is a by-product of either behavioral disorders or emotional instability. We could be angry but not violent. Then, people are involved and to feast over their misfortune could be skewed. They have their own lives to live and their families might get hurt. We could leave the authorities to do their tasks.

This is then the time to be aware. Adults and educators must provide academic input to their children and learners about how violence breeds hate and contempt. These are things which must NOT be taken lightly due to the fragility of the children’s minds. They might see these things as the trend or normal things to happen.

Children who witness domestic violence or are victims of abuse themselves are at serious risk for long-term physical and mental health problems. Children who witness violence between parents may also be at greater risk of being violent in their future relationships. (womenshealth.gov, 2018) Similarly, children who are exposed to violence online are at risk to be violent themselves according to psychologists.

But then, going back to the issue at hand, why should we glamorize something which is the antithesis of being PROPER?

The social media are platforms to be used as sources of information. There was even a comment that the inventor of Facebook might be unhappy these days despite his financial success. You see, he created the site TO CONNECT people. Now it is a tool of division, personal wars and sometimes, a portal of hate and violence.

We have to remember that Wonder Woman and other characters seen on film are fictitious characters…and We are real. We are human beings. We are human with beings.