Fragile

They were student leaders who joined the discussions on how to protect their companions in school through the Child Protection Policy of the DepEd. I delivered a talk on Positive Approaches to Discipline and I tagged them along. As the vehicle sped back to our place, I looked at them keenly and realized that indeed, an adult could change the way they will become in the future. 

For months that I have been immersed to the capacity building of teachers on how to protect children from bullying and abuse, I developed this disturbance inside. Those who shared their childhood memories could still vividly recall the way they have been hurt physically and emotionally when they were still young. A teacher remembered being thrown by his aunt some feet landing in all fours on the floor. Someone was punched by his father on the stomach... Another was made to kneel on rock salt. There were some who were hit by their teachers with stick and rulers. When we reached at the analysis part of the discussion, I asked the question: Why could you still remember them? All of them answered that these things are already embedded in their hearts.

On the other side of the fence, I asked for their happiest childhood memories and the syntheses of their answers come to the simplest acts of affirmation: that their parents and teachers appreciated their efforts by saying Very Good and they receive presents.

As a teacher and parent, what have we imprinted in the hearts of the children?

"The End of the Wasp Season" by Denise Mina is a disturbing book about a rich kid whose parents are into material things forgetting the existence of their children. Thomas, murdered a woman whom she thought as the mistress of his father only to realize later that she's not. The story is centered on the police deputy who is investigating the crime with entwined subplot of her being a product of a dysfunctional family as well.

I got hooked with the storytelling since I am into this adolescent behavior stuff. With the prose, I come into the conclusion that indeed, children would be pushed to a world where adults are oftentimes  the culprit.

I could not educate all the parents and the teachers on matters like these. I am even trying to learn more about these things... But I could not just be an onlooker for I might fall into the trap of indifference...

Young people are now considered as social investments. They will be the future parents. But the thing is: Most of them were born from parents who are still not ready to serve others. Their parents are still focused on how to satisfy their own needs and wants. So what kind of cycle are we going to expect?

I don't know. But I'm hopeful. I could see that there are still adults who are dynamically growing to be contributors of growth and development rather than those who constantly criticize to grab attention. I still could see people who are working hard to enrich themselves to realize the ultimate goal of life which is to SERVE. There are those who sacrifice so that their children will experience a better life soon.

****

When we reached our place, I asked the student leaders if they were hungry. they coyly nodded their heads and I told them that we will eat a hearty meal. Food is a basic need. Most of the kids I know are often hungry...

Unfriend Me

                                                                 (photo:google.com)

It was like seeing things on a desktop screen but on a very large version!

One thing I realized when I scanned the seated people in the cinema is the age of the viewers. It seemed that I was old enough for the flick! But, this sort-of insecurity faded away as I saw the older ones leave the theater in trickles as they found the film "too much" or too banal for them.

UNFRIENDED focuses on online bullying which resulted to the suicide of Laura Barns. The film starts with a conversation with lovers through a Skype-like app. Others then joined the live streaming conversations with all their wacky thoughts and banter. Along the way, a netizen viewer could sense something is wrong since there's a faceless icon linked with their group. Annoyance came to the group when the intruder started interacting with them.

Violence started to happen when the faceless joiner claimed to be Laura Barns and the group saw this as preposterous since the girl committed suicide and... it was her death anniversary. The story then untangled the "secret" of this group of friends who posted lewd pictures of Laura Barns and even encouraged her to kill herself. One by one, the online friends started dying.

By having an open mind, I could say that the flick introduces a new genre of film-making. It includes Facebook, You Tube and other online means of communication which is the WORLD of the new generation. While looking at the words being typed on the chat boxes juxtaposed with the Skype image, a viewer must understand all of these technologies for him/her to appreciate the storytelling. Those who went out in trickles had dismayed expressions on their faces...

I'm not saying that the film is good. It has a lot of debatable subplots which are like pebbles in a shoe. Like: Why should they stay in front of their laptops? They could have called their parents or the neighbors than wait for the alleged and seemingly-virtual killer to "delete" them from existence!

What I like is what the movie is trying to drive home: Cyber bullying is wrong and it is unhealthy. It could destroy relationships and could even lead to death and crimes.

Although Filipinos manifest less the products of psychopathy, it is still wise to monitor the well-being of children especially with their behavior in the cyber world. This is an area which oftentimes threaten adults but we need to take a peek if not immerse into this for us to be aware and be empowered on what armors to prepare.

You Are Stabbed Too

Inside a passenger van bound home, I overheard two persons talking about someone being stabbed to death. The conversation was unclear since I got a lot of things to think in line with the hosting of our division for the regional athletic meet. It was when I reached school when I heard about the gruesome murder of a medical technologist in a neighboring town straight from the cousin who is a teacher in our school.

My mind worked so fast I forgot to console the cousin since I was engulfed with anger. I personally do not know the victim but to realize that such evil exists in our area is a thought so repulsive I wanted to yell to the wall. Who gives someone the right to kill? Is there a valid reason to stab somebody almost twenty times? Of course we could think about insanity and drug abuse but again, how could one explain these factors to the grieving family members?

When I continued to fume inside, I then overheard someone blaming the victim for proceeding to an area as the rendezvous. He was, I inferred, a member of the LGBT community. Good thing I was distracted by a Grade 7 student who has mild dyslexia. If not, I could have retorted to that comment and gave a lecture on bigotry and the effects of prejudice to a community!

I toiled so hard and learned a lot from my graduate school thesis which is all about violence on women and children. I am an advocate of anti-trafficking on women and children and I believe that violence and gender bias are things which stem from hate. The thesis eventually landed as one of the best in the school for that year and received commendations from the Commission on Higher Education.

Yes, I carefully immersed myself into hate crimes and one of the things these perpetrators do to conceal their inferiority is violence. Studies reveal that husbands who beat their wives have childhood issues and anger towards their mothers. Those who find children as their prey are those who hunger for power and weak enough to deal with "stronger" ones that they settle for those they consider weaker than them! And of course, those who beat and kill gays violently are gays themselves. They are so disgusted with their secrets they need to kill someone who mirrors them! There is even a study conducted to violent men which is linked to the size of their penis. Teeny-weenies are those who are violent! Pathetic.

I have always known that this plight is a lonely one. I often give time to those mentally-challenged individuals. I befriend the Mamanwa. In the school where I am serving, I am close to those students who are bullied and have physical impairment. Others would raise their eyebrows and consider it as an eccentricity. But there is nothing wrong with empowering people who are victimized by the self-righteous and sick individuals.

With this incident in our society, we must be angry. Jesus was angry enough to kick and slam his hands on the tables of those gamblers and selfish thugs inside the temple. With such anger, we will be propelled to find justice and disallow violence to thrive in our midst.

NOBODY DESERVES TO BE MURDERED VIOLENTLY. There are times when we blame the victim for his or her mistakes (i.e. Sakto da na tagkulata nan bana kay nagger sija! Amo na nabono kay unoy pagkinadto-kadto!) but what if you are the victim of this? Or your son/daughter? Sakto da?

Violence on women, children, differently-abled persons, indigenous people, LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders) is evil. It is as evil as violence on the so-called normal people.

Let us discuss these things among our friends. Our behaviors and actions are always tainted with what we feel. Mental illnesses come from thwarted feelings translated into actions. Let us start spreading stuff to stop violence. It is difficult but it is worth the effort.

Fifty Shades of Blur

                                                     (photo: Focus Films)

Always, after the exposure to debates, research and brainstorming in the graduate school, it is always a relief to head to the cool environs of a cinema. Viewing films could release stressful stuff in the body as the mind goes to a certain place of make-believe.

I forgot it was Valentine’s Day. It is probably because I’m not linked romantically to someone or the mind was already set that this day is just an economic strategy to boost sales of different products. But then, it may sound sour-graping yet honestly it’s not.

It was when I reached the cinema when I noticed couples with flowers and chocolates (give her a plant, for a crying out loud!) taking pictures in the booth provided by the cinema. They were happy, the couples, I could see.

“Fifty Shades of Grey” was showing. There was a commotion in the publishing world when the book sold 100 million. I saw the trilogy in National Bookstore but dismissed the thing as something like a fad. The literati raised its eyebrows on the prose of the E.L. James. True to its MTRCB rating (R-18), the ticket women asked for ID’s from young-looking moviegoers. There was nothing else to view except for an animation flick which I already forgot so I shelled an amount for the film version.

Most of the moviegoers had partners or a group of girls interested in the film or was able to read the book. I shushed three women who were giggling even during the trailers ( Cinderella at that!).

When the movie started to roll, I was able to notice the production design which was superbly arranged and the things that the viewer could see reek money. Yet I got bothered with the storytelling.

Most wide readers understand that a book must be written to sell. And for it to be able to hit the bestseller list, it must create a stir or good enough to shatter a reader’s equilibrium (like what happened with Dan Brown’s “The Da Vinci Code). “Fifty Shades of Grey” wanted to tell us that love could cut across anything like that of Stephenie Meyers’ “Twilight” trilogy in which a mortal and a vampire merged through love. Here, a woman falls in love with a sadist.

First thing to bother me is this: Why would a sado-masochist seems to understand himself like that of a psychiatrist? It has been consistently implied by those who major in Behavioral Science that healing starts when one acknowledges his ailments! Yet, fifteen women already fell prey...Of course, we could be aware of our quirks but to maintain a “play room” with whips and other sadistic toys and explain it to someone is beyond me. I understand that these people exist. I know that it’s a mental condition stemming from a childhood trauma. In the flick, it is implied that a “Mrs. Robinson” is the one who abused Grey. And he is still friends with his abuser!

And then, there’s the contract that Anastacia Steele (Dakota Johnson) has to sign. Why would a woman venture on such sick world? Is it because of the material things gifted to her? Or is she also sick - a masochist?

The movie house got silent. Some were trying to absorb the efforts made by the screenplay for us to make dominant-submissive lifestyle be instilled as a norm. Others, like me, fidget on my seat since I wanted to discuss the loopholes of the film to someone. I was afraid that the young ones would herald on the thrill of sadism. Vampires are different for we know that the elements and characters in “Twilight” were fictitious yet domestic violence and domineering husbands are real! Violence must never be attached to the handsome Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and be translated as the “added” points to a man.

Fucking in the film, not making love according to Grey, was not that sexy at all. The producers gave a disclaimer on the blurring or some parts yet it seems that the woman was made as an object. She was having a lot of nudity and Grey only showed his ass. Pubic hair and breasts were exposed from the woman, yet not even a shadow of Grey’s cock was presented. That could raise a lot of protests from the feminist groups. And of course, sadism based on studies is anti-women since most of the sadists recorded are male.

The film lasted for almost two and a half hours. And the ending made some viewers ask: That’s it? I almost screamed: It’s a trilogy, you idiots! But then, I would have fallen to the trap of insanity.

And yes, this might just be a fad. I don’t think that being mentally sick could be considered cute and that pain and dominance rule. We have tasted freedom, why should we be punished because we roll our eyes?

Fifty Shades of Grey is directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson and produced by Michael De Luca and Dana Brunetti alongside E L James, the creator of the series. The screenplay for the film is by Kelly Marcel.

Fallen

                                                          (ph.news.yahoo.com)

Forty four. This is just a set of numbers, a mathematical symbol that we pass off as just another thing mathematicians ponder. But if it is the number of lives wasted due to an operation of the police gone haywire... that’s another thing. More shocking to realize is that this stats is for the Special Action Force of the Philippine National Police... that is a major thing!

When the pictures of the dead policemen went viral on the social media, a myriad of reactions and emotions mushroomed. There are some who blamed the police for lack of training and initiatives. Some gave analyses on the lack of protocol and coordination with the military and a percentage gushed on the doubt that the operation was all about the money on the head of the terrorists.

Blame it on democracy. With the advent of cable TV and the internet, people are now free to air what they feel and what they think. Of course, others are reactive enough to give haphazard opinions but we give them their benefits to free speech. Facebook is even filled with curses, selfish commentaries, petty wars and egotism. But then again, this is what the free world is all about.

There’s a collective feeling of dismay among the people who made the media portals as sources of information. How could one not be touched with the wailings of those family members looking at the forty two caskets (the two were buried in Mindanao) being carried by their comrades? The elderly who contain their emotions to less tolerant level had their fits of face contortions as they viewed the news all over.

Then, there’s the president airing his take of the event. I always wonder who his speech writer is since often, I could not understand his points. Is there an art of communication when you could say a lot yet the impact would be synthetic or safe enough not to offend the people and the MILF? There are instances when I wonder whether it’s the way he delivers them or his syntax is beyond my mental capacity. Probably the latter...

He added more injuries when he decided to attend the inauguration of a car company than meeting the “heroes” on their arrival. Again, this writer understands about commitments and schedules. But how could one explain these technicalities to an emotional country?

No amount of cajoling to be sober down can take effect. There’s a simmering anger among the police. Secretary Roxas heard the sentiments of the Special Action Forces when he met with them. Provincial policemen are sporting bald heads as their sign of asking for justice. Different “walks for justice” took place... It would only take an angry leader to trigger a revolution.

This sorrowful event which others call as a massacre is linked to a question of leadership. The people want some sort of a valid explanation paired with what is just. An investigation is necessary but the president as the main leader must put an iron fist in combating the evils within our midst. The idea of an all-out war could never be the answer but there must be a win-win solution that could be brainstormed and acted quick by the leaders.

For how could I feel safe when even the policemen trained and paid by the government to keep us safe seem to look ignorant of the rules of engagement?

Why Not Lady in Red?

                                     (photo:www.wattpad.com)

I forgot it was Halloween. I was wondering why TV was focused on these things caught on camera which eventually are reflections of sorts. But it would never fail to fascinate me when a White Lady is being described. First, why do these ladies have to wear white? Is it a fashion statement of sorts for ghosts? Did they die wearing white? Or, is there some kind of dress code once you're a ghost? 

I do not know. But they are also described as long-haired women... Isn't this some sort of marginalized issue for short-haired women who died? Does this mean they could not haunt those who ailed them since they opted for cropped or bob?

Another thing to raise my curiosity is the fad of having little children as the objects of fear. Was it a trend a filmmaker made? I understand about phobia on clowns, dolls, insects and even wide spaces and yes, children but kids are often adorable if not cuddly!

Someone suggested that these things are reflections of other people's guilt. There are some folks who would get scared out of their wits when they see children standing on the hallway because they probably have histories of violence to kids. Their paranoia heightens when they could see children taking over!

Another point is the prejudice and humiliation some gave to persons they consider "ugly". The ugly ghosts are the representations of their guilt, the theory continues... It was even thought: Does it mean that Anne Curtis must have a gash on her face so to be scary? Again, isn't it a little bit biased on the beautiful ones? Meaning, they could not pass for ghosts because they do not look scary?

But then, I like the horror genre. It would always fascinate me when shrieks of terror would soundtrack in the cinema and check on my own pulse. For years of immersing myself to scary films, one thing is common: Once fear would evolve to anger, you would never be a victim.

A friend recommended The Conjuring. She told me that she wet her pants viewing the flick. But save for the intricate use of a seemingly hand-held camera, the plot and story failed to hold me. I guess Insidious is better since it bothered me... so with its sequel.

What really scares me most is the situations that could happen to us. The time when a criminal mind crosses our paths. For me, the flick to scare the wits out of me is David Fincher's "Seven". And the ghost story which made me leap from my seat is M. Night Shayamalan's "The Sixth Sense".

Well, the best time to be gripped by terror is through viewing the news.

"Gone Girl" and its claws

                 (photo: ropeofsilicon.com) 

Who would miss a David Fincher film? That’s a question one could ignore but with his “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo,” I was convinced. I also came through The New York Times Best Sellers List two years ago and saw Gillian Flynn’s “Gone Girl” on top of it but failed to read the book… after immersing myself for two hours on her screenplay, I guess I became a convert.

These days, there’s too much reviews on the film that one would be confused whom to believe or not. But it would be wise not to allow someone else’s voice to nudge you in your thought processes but make your own opinion. That’s the beauty of viewing well-crafted films, you will be compelled to think.

Flynn’s collaboration with Fincher became a marriage of sorts. The outcome became some kind of a journey to your own stands on the issues and realities of being married. I know I’m not but I always be the sounding board of my friends when times get rough.

“Gone Girl” is about a husband who is looking for his wife who went missing. The story then unravels allowing the viewer to make the husband as the suspect and when he is almost sure that murder happened, the wife’s real intentions slap him on the face. Then, after seeing how evil the wife could be, the viewer will then wish that the husband would murder her.

Fincher is indeed a master on directing his actors. Ben Affleck (Nick Dunne) is good enough to look both the suspect and the victim, his controlled arrogance seethes. Rosamund Pike is also one hell of an actress who could shift expressions from a lovable one to a mean woman.

Then it caught me. I wanted Amy to be convicted or be dead for all her hideous plots and sick lies. But why won’t I wish Nick harm where in fact he is also a villain on their marriage with his infidelity, selfishness and bum-ish traits? Did I fall into the trap of gender bias?

With domestic conflicts, we sometimes fail to look on both sides of the stories. If we are the wife’s friend, we then paint a bad picture on the husband not wanting to know whether the wife is just trying to justify her quirks and emotional hang ups. If we are also buddies with the hubby, and he aired his story vividly, we would drink till the wee hours to drown in alcohol with him for sympathy. 

But the truth is out there…

“Gone Girl” is fascinating. Basically, this is in the mystery/thriller genre but it shows the unsettling realities of having relationships. It’s the up-front fact that with a partner, there is always a competition on who is the fittest. Some wives/husbands thought that they are the ONE only to find out late that their partners exceed their expectations.

When the film ended and lights flooded inside the cinema, I saw the same expressions from the four viewers of the last full show: fear. They’re probably wondering what they or their partners are capable of.