Scared of Kids?

                          (photo: pinterest.com)

When did trick or treat started to be done in the Philippines?

In the 80’s, the socialites and social climbers would only shop and do their groceries in Rustan’s. The elite flocked on the imported clothes and eau de toilette inside the department store and Pringles and Snickers were only tasted once in a while by the commoners. Brands like YSL, Gucci and even the scents of Victoria’s Secret were shipped direct from abroad

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Basically, the well-off families were the ones to visit the United States and Europe. They talked about their escapades and the events they were able to attend were fabulous! There was Thanksgiving where turkey was served; the kissing under the mistletoe during Christmas; the New Year countdown in Times Square…and of course, the trick or treat of the kids during Halloween.

The boom of information technology ushered in the different events which are famous and well-talked about. The internet particularly brought the different celebrations and interests on the fingertips of the people especially the young ones. Knowledge on the brands like Guess, Levis and other global brands became the staple. China grabbed the chance and so the birth of Class “A” brands came to the market.

It was with the advent of malls when commercialization was attached to the celebrations and holidays as part of the marketing strategies to bring people inside the malls. Valentine’s Day was attached to the young ones and most of them would be stressed once they could not give some sort of gifts to their romantic partners. Birthdays are incomplete without a cake. And of course, Halloween is an addition to the events where malls, hotels, cafes and other establishments would put a lot of efforts to mount so that people would come. The more people in the establishments, the better business will it be.

But why so engrossed with the ugly, the gory and the scary? We need not dwell on the supernatural to get scared. All we have to do is view the news on TV or listen to a politician talk. All the goosebumps in the world could be experienced through them. Yet, the scary has also a commercial value that the horror genre is not out of fashion. Even books with horror as the theme are always on the bestsellers’ list. The likes of Stephen King, Peter Straub, even the stories of Neil Gaiman and the movie ventures of the Monteverdes with the “Shake, Rattle and Roll” franchise are doing well in the market.

Another thing which seems to be en vogue is the tacking of the different phobias. There is the fear of clowns, the fear of insects, close spaces, open spaces and the more popular: fear of dolls and children.

On introspect, it seems that phobia is still part of acculturation brought about by the influences from the things we see and we read from the different media sources. During the early times when the internet was still nil, people were afraid of the dark. Their imaginations created the manananggal and other supernatural beings. When the country became accessible to electricity, we were introduced to the zombies…

We could not help but to adapt since the world is getting flat. Japan has started embracing this culture. We just have to process such things to the young and hold on to our own cultural identity since we fought so hard for our own. We need to make the things we allow dwelling on our psyche as things that we understand and we can control. We won’t allow these things to be the ones to control us.

Revenge

                               (photo: abs-cbn.com)

When the lights subdued, confetti started to fall. Then, a hush came when power returned and a woman clad in gold gown came down the stairs. Everybody’s attention was to her and when she reached the steps, fireworks commenced on cue. She proceeded to the governor and his daughter whose mouths were agape. Then, the woman who rose from the dead said: I’m back. Ivy Aguas is dead. Lily Cruz is alive. You could never destroy me. I’m indestructible! Ironically, music inspired of Spandau Ballet’s “Gold” was played on the background as the main characters eyed each other with hate and deception. The local cyberspace was then full of the tag line Black is Out, Gold is In.

This was the much talked about scene of ABS-CBN’s telenovela “Wildflower”. The program catapulted to fame as a woman started to make revenge as her breakfast, lunch and dinner. She also dashed and garnished her persona with hatred to the point that the sole purpose of her existence is to get even with the people who made her inferior inside and out.

The formula of the TV program was easily picked up by the Filipino audience due to the numerous backgrounds of the viewers. One could admire the research conducted by the production team on what would tickle the minds and interests of the majority. Most of the people who view TV on these time slot are women who prepare the family’s dinner, so why not place a strong character which could suit the fantasies of the weakling? A woman who topples domineering males could be a potent one to fill the air time.

There are also those who are waiting for the evening news to be aired who are expecting rape victims, abused women and the weak as the prey to be aired on the national current events. So, why not put a reversal of such dreary mood by showing women who fight back and politicians who could be manipulated by them?

We see the power of the women being heralded on the show to the point that the male characters seem to play supporting roles only. With the coming in of Zsa zsa Padilla’s Red Dragon, the weak wives could now wait for their revenge on their dominating husbands as they marvel and feel the seething rage over Ardiente: the epitome of their pain and insult.

But then, one could wonder why do we feed on hate and lead to revenge? Isn’t this a negative thing to dwell on? People who constantly plan for the destruction of their enemies are not at peace. Their anger destroys their relationships, their careers and their capacity to serve others will be hampered since their prime motivation is to hurt and get even. We could not judge them since we did not feel their pain yet being grabbed with peace due to past pains could be counterproductive. The present holds their children, their friends and their will to serve. If these things be put at stake due to past hurts, life could be miserable.

The drama series is rated SPG (Strong Parental Guidance) since the kids might see the presented scenes as the ideal ones in real life. The viewers are expected to be adults who just see this one a pure entertainment. Yet, could we be assured that all people who view the show as mature enough to draw the line of what’s real and not? What if we like the thought of dressing up and proceed to our archenemies in full regalia and announce our vengeance?

In art lessons, we are being told that movies and other works of fiction are reflections of our culture and beliefs. It is a bit alarming seeing our kids spend time viewing shows just like these with hate as themes. We must reflect on the type of culture we are projecting for the future generation. We are sometimes lenient since we are caught in our own battles.But responsibility is attached to us so with our efforts to be and become.

Yet there are those of us who could be stubborn. We stick on our twisted beliefs. We are weak enough to confront our inner selves with the truth. We are already made. Some of us do not adhere to the belief that changing for the better is a continuum.

Superficial

When one changes his appearance through cosmetic surgery, will the person inside him change as well? Will his fears and insecurities vanish when the mirror speaks differently this time? It seems that there is a dangerous line between reality and fantasy that one needs to cross to be able to fully accept his being. But then, a stained white shirt would be worn differently when bleach works out in eradicating the stain.

An outburst of discussion happened in the social media sites when Marlo Arizala transformed himself to Xander Ford through multiple surgeries augmenting his looks to become that of his dreamed face. The former character actor with dark complexion and not-so-likable nose was featured in Korina Sanchez’s “Rated K” which catapulted the fame of the “new” kind of handsome.

Dr. Bryan Madelson, a noted cosmetic surgeon said that we live in a society that is obsessed with looks and those who go under the knife want their confidence back. Might as well consider the loss of confidence... What is it? Is it due to the pressure the society is setting that the good-looking ones are the persons to make it better and get the attention in the community? Or an unmet need of being accepted for who he or she is…

Historically, the Filipinos have been oppressed by different cultures that “hiya” is deep-seated in our midst and so with inferiority. When the Spanish conquestadors ruled over us, we were the household help. Our forefathers suffered the disgust of being an Indio - the brown-skinned helper. The fair-skinned senyors and senyoritas paraded the society with their perfectly-chiseled noses and smooth and milky complexion. They were the demigods and we really wanted to be like them. We then saw the arrival of the Americans as an academic bliss. They seemed to have a messianic impact to our culture since they educated the dark-skinned tabula rasa. They taught us with literature and we loved the American-English language that we even consider a person intelligent if he or she could speak it well. We marveled on their height and fair-skin, perfect noses and musical accent.

Acculturation took place and continued. That is the reason why our national heroes did a lot of efforts in raising our own identity as Filipinos. Some of them even died fighting for it.

So what’s the fuzz on Xander’s need to look differently? Our culture dictates it. We grimace on the brown complexion that we have. The influx of whitening lotions and soaps with glutathione are evidences of such need. We dye our hair to be similar to those of the American supermodels and we see women who are not tall as inferior to those who have long legs. We are the ones telling our children to be NOT who they are but be influenced with a belief transferred from one generation to another.

We all could be Xander Fords in our own ways. We just have to remember the times when we tried hard to look young, to see make up as a miracle and the cosmetics as enhancers of our real images. We just have to recall the times when we felt inferior when someone so fair-skinned passed by and we wanted to be like the person.

But going back to the inner self: Is Xander Ford different now? Are the needs and longings being addressed by the augmentation procedures? What would happen if they were not? Let us remember the sad plight of Michael Jackson, an African American who then became white. He underwent surgical procedures to look like his ultimate dream of a face: Diana Ross. When he attained the desired look, the hunger continued…His money went to the drains when the inner person continued to be unsatisfied that he eventually died unhappy.

Self-acceptance and self-love are essential things for our overall health and happiness. By embracing our flaws and individuality, we find the key to the realization that we are made differently. We are special in our own ways. We are unique. The body is just a shell.

Alma Mater

Give me time and give me space

Give me real, don't give me fake

                                              - Coldplay (Politik)

                                      (hefetcw.blogspot.com)

Senator Richard Gordon asked questions to the person tasked by his frat brothers to pick up Horacio's body from the hazing venue. The manner of questioning could be threatening and intimidating. The senator even asked the people who were called during the senate hearing about their educational backgrounds and the schools they come from. He underscored the credibility of the learning institutions and the prominent people who studied in them. There was even a time when this thought came to the mind: Will a school define a person?

For years of being an educational and instructional leader, a lot of times were spent by me in observing and giving technical assistance to the educators. The strengths of the teachers vary and their weaknesses as well. But these could be normal. There are individual differences and we could see the way these educators displace their competencies through their outputs: their learners.

Would it really count if one studies in an institution which produces prominent products? According to timeshighereducation.com: It has been very hard, so far, for universities to show that they actually touch so many people in their lives, by the things they can imagine, by the way that they teach, the way they help people to organize parts of the society.

Still, there is what we call as school culture that the learner could adapt. The times I spent my college days, I was so immersed to different communities and outreach programs due to the university's thrust to do extension services. I was also reading a lot since the subjects required us to do so. the library was so big I literally spent my vacant periods in there.

So, bits and pieces of knowledge, skills and attitudes from the alma mater are acculturated to the students in one way or the other. Even the way people dress is oftentimes a reflection of the discipline they acquire from their school. The manner they speak and the way they interact with others are also cascaded to the learner.

It has been said that it is good for parents to invest on the education of their children. But I could not just agree that by sending them to good schools allow them to become better persons. There are other factors to consider which hone the character of the individuals. Parenting and formative discipline at home still count as the key players in a child's well-being.

I'm a product of both public and private schools. When I was in high school, I learned to be resilient to the bullies and I became an independent learner since we did not have lots of books before. When I reached college, I became enriched with the arts and scientific and mathematical phenomena since I took up Engineering. I became a city dweller and a voracious reader.

Upon reflection, I still adhere to the belief that it is the person who will take upon his own journey. The travel is from the SELF to the SELF. All the things that he or she encounters are part of the honing process for the person to come a better one. Without intellectual will, all the needed competencies to become a functional and productive individual will not take place...

The school is the vast sea where the person's sails must be raised to venture, to discover... The rest will be his or her story.

Paddle

                          (photo: rappler.com)
Young people are dying. Their death confronts us nightly inside our living rooms via cable TV. There are those who were killed by the police and lately, through hazing. These kids are allegedly made wrong decisions in their early lives…But do they deserve to die the way they were brutally killed?

There was a time when I looked  at the one thousand and eight hundred learners doing their rehearsals for a field demonstration. I was enveloped by a religious fear that most of them would fail or become problems of the society. I looked at those truant ones who were stepping on the flowers stamping on them like their enemies. What would become of these little cretins? I sighed. But deep in me, I knew that they still have the chance to venture on cleaner grounds. Isn’t it our roles as teachers to guide them to better directions? Then, why would others decide to curtail the good possibilities which might happen to them?

Being exposed to Stephen King novels at an early age, I realized that adults have twisted beliefs and practices victimizing the young ones through their selfish intentions and unreasonable actions due to unmet needs. Children of the Corn was so terrifying that I spent a sleepless night thinking about those kids eliminating the adults since they are the “sinners”. Stand By Me and It have these themes as well although the former is focused on friendship and the latter is about childhood fear materializing induced by the adults’ neglect or abuse.

I was listening to someone insistently telling me that the blame must not be put on adults but to some extent, to the children as well. There are those children who could be mean. Yet, I often ask the question: Who molded them for who they are now?

Julia, a novel by Peter Straub, allowed me to think deeper of the so-called absolute evil. The author profoundly tells the story of a natural-born killer in the person of a kid who stabbed her dolls then rehearsing with small animals and eventually humans. The book is a modern-day classic of the horror genre and debates continue due to its theme. But are kids really capable of absolute evil or they are just the shells of a deeper evil?

One thing is for sure: the world is changing and we must cope with the parenting and nurturing skills that we have to make our children better individuals. We could not make a template for them to function well but we could try changing our mindsets on how to understand them. We continually have to reinvent the wheel since the roads that we are trekking are constantly changing as well.

These are difficult times. We are experiencing the ultimate times of uncertainty. Even politics are not predictable anymore. Human behavior is also evolving. Pop culture and emotional instability among the young is erratic. Even in fashion, the so-called “baduy” is the new beautiful. Leaders must be resilient and adaptable since unexpected stuff is in the offing. For who would have predicted Marawi and the planned strategies of the Armed Forces to have gone bonkers?

We continue living our lives with the hope that we are contributors to positive change, not the other way around.

Label

                  (photo: azquotes.com)

When is the time when one could claim that he/she is intelligent? You see, there are those whom we know whose confidence are oozing out of their cheap clothes that we wonder if this is still realistic. There is nothing wrong with confidence. In fact, it is the key to success. But having an overdose of it is disorienting if not offensive.

I was listening to someone belittle a person for being a simpleton. The culprit underscored someone’s inability to present ideas coherently in straight English. She continued to rant overly pronouncing the words to emphasize her point. A whirlwind of questions occurred inside my head as the woman consistently used the word STUPID to describe the person.

One thing which registered in me was this mystery: A person is already stupid when he could not speak well in English? What if he can compute mathematical problems using formulas that he designs himself and the “intelligent” woman can’t? Who is now the person to be labeled STUPID? Did the critic came across Howard Gardner’s theory on Multiple Intelligence?

But then, on a deeper thought, I realized that her ability to speak and pronounce good English are her crutches: the source of her confidence. But this could be dangerous to be the main source since the world is now full of dynamic information and the utilization of such knowledge and skills allow one to push himself towards becoming a transcendent individual. Take for example: What if she is going to encounter a discourse on Astrophysics and a 0.0001 m/s2 acceleration of a small object in space is being computed for its weight? Would her correct pronunciation of P’s and F’s matter? Will her prose count or her ability to contribute ideas to the discussion?

Labeling people is not a good practice. It dehumanizes others to the point that "superior" beings are being juxtaposed to "lesser" beings. According to Psychology Today: Labeling isn't always a cause for concern, and it's often very useful. It would be impossible to catalogue the information we process during our lives without the aid of labels like "friendly," "deceitful," "tasty," and "harmful." But it's important to recognize that the people we label as "black," "white," "rich," poor," smart," and "simple," seem blacker, whiter, richer, poorer, smarter, and simpler merely because we've labeled them so.

I’m in the public school system and I understand the footage of my learners. They have diverse backgrounds and the demographics allow a social scientist to understand their foundations. These learners must be given differentiated instructions for them to grasp and master the competencies needed for them to function well. Labeling them to be slow learners are so 20^th century. The dynamics of learning has expanded the platforms of mental development. Take for example the theory of constructivism: utilizing prior knowledge and learning by doing are better than an hour of lecture in the classroom. Incidentally, the aforementioned critic heralds herself as an orator to the point that she monopolizes classroom talk resulting to zombie-like learners from her gibberish.

There are still a lot of things that could be considered as sources of our confidence. Being humane is one. When one could connect to his humanity by understanding that he is part of the bigger whole, it could be a good crutch.

In the end, your properly-pronounced words do not matter. What matters most is your ability to care and your affection to those who need it. Empathy is a difficult value to attain since it entails going out of the self and considering others. 

Life is harsh and people became hardened with their experiences. But our intellectual will to become good allows us to become more than just another cruel animal in this jungle we call as EXISTENCE.

Toxic

                (photo: dailymail.com)

This person could be toxic. He takes away the rainbows once you are with him and allows the dark clouds to loom over you. He tries to inject negative energy to your day to the point that you are bombarded with complaints and the bad side of life. When you are with this person, it seems that you always encounter a road accident and you are compelled to slow down and see the mess.

You are sure that others also experience this thing. They encounter people who take away their happiness. There are those who are also called emotional vampires that they suck all your energy away by just being with them. They constantly hound you with their emotional hang-ups and once it’s your turn to pour out pent-up feelings, they simply do not care. There are even those who perform emotional blackmails just for you to stick with them.

One of the things you notice with those who have romantic relationships is their ability to destroy each other. There are those who could be very self-centered to the point that only his/her side is being considered. There are girlfriends who are so possessive that they forbid their boyfriends to even be with the boys' friends. There are also boyfriends who are so full of insecurity to the point that even the simple putting on of lipstick by the girl is prohibited. Once the self-imposed rules are broken, a series of emotional turbulence will be experienced. Sometimes these result to mud-slinging and worse, words like: you are not who you are without me! will be uttered.

What is then is the purpose of having a partner? Isn’t it to nurture each other? It has been a wrong notion to find an inspiration but be the inspiration! Yet the unmet needs of a person oftentimes rear its ugly head and be the cause of unease and emotional chaos. There are those who even post their harsh words on social media sites and inflict pain and shame to both of the parties. A dark intention of destroying the other would then surface... One main reason why relationships break is selfishness.

You have decided not be tainted with the toxins of these people. You don’t have prejudice on people but you could choose whom to be with. In your hands lie the power of your being and becoming. So, why stick to people who are already made and won’t allow feedback on their lives? This, often, could be considered as self-righteousness but you always believe in evaluated experiences and a decision must be done after evaluating the experience with someone. Transcendence won’t happen if your companions are constantly pulling you down.

Most of the self-mastered people do not have a lot of friends. They understand people but they won’t allow others to lead them since they know where they are going. They do not demand time and won’t allow others to patronize them since they understand their strengths and are working on their weaknesses. These persons have emotional intelligence that they are the ones who are nice to be with. They inspire and they are full of appreciation since most of them see life as a gift.

It has been a long-time discourse on the importance of Emotional Intelligence over Intelligence Quotient and skills acquisition. There is even a study focusing on Resilience Quotient since the world is now full of stressful events and in-between interference. These things are necessary steps in personal growth and even in the so-called relationship goals.

No matter what the facts and statistics are saying, you still have to stick to what you believe. You won’t allow others to take away your peace. The people around you are constants and in mathematical equations, there is always a variable where one could control. And in your case, that is YOU. 

In the end, what matters most is how you live your life. Be it meaningful to others or not, your own definition of what’s meaningful dictates your own happiness.

“ And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,

Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;

There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,

And evening full of the linnet’s wings…”

- William Butler Yeats (The Lake Isle of Innisfree)