Toxic

                (photo: dailymail.com)

This person could be toxic. He takes away the rainbows once you are with him and allows the dark clouds to loom over you. He tries to inject negative energy to your day to the point that you are bombarded with complaints and the bad side of life. When you are with this person, it seems that you always encounter a road accident and you are compelled to slow down and see the mess.

You are sure that others also experience this thing. They encounter people who take away their happiness. There are those who are also called emotional vampires that they suck all your energy away by just being with them. They constantly hound you with their emotional hang-ups and once it’s your turn to pour out pent-up feelings, they simply do not care. There are even those who perform emotional blackmails just for you to stick with them.

One of the things you notice with those who have romantic relationships is their ability to destroy each other. There are those who could be very self-centered to the point that only his/her side is being considered. There are girlfriends who are so possessive that they forbid their boyfriends to even be with the boys' friends. There are also boyfriends who are so full of insecurity to the point that even the simple putting on of lipstick by the girl is prohibited. Once the self-imposed rules are broken, a series of emotional turbulence will be experienced. Sometimes these result to mud-slinging and worse, words like: you are not who you are without me! will be uttered.

What is then is the purpose of having a partner? Isn’t it to nurture each other? It has been a wrong notion to find an inspiration but be the inspiration! Yet the unmet needs of a person oftentimes rear its ugly head and be the cause of unease and emotional chaos. There are those who even post their harsh words on social media sites and inflict pain and shame to both of the parties. A dark intention of destroying the other would then surface... One main reason why relationships break is selfishness.

You have decided not be tainted with the toxins of these people. You don’t have prejudice on people but you could choose whom to be with. In your hands lie the power of your being and becoming. So, why stick to people who are already made and won’t allow feedback on their lives? This, often, could be considered as self-righteousness but you always believe in evaluated experiences and a decision must be done after evaluating the experience with someone. Transcendence won’t happen if your companions are constantly pulling you down.

Most of the self-mastered people do not have a lot of friends. They understand people but they won’t allow others to lead them since they know where they are going. They do not demand time and won’t allow others to patronize them since they understand their strengths and are working on their weaknesses. These persons have emotional intelligence that they are the ones who are nice to be with. They inspire and they are full of appreciation since most of them see life as a gift.

It has been a long-time discourse on the importance of Emotional Intelligence over Intelligence Quotient and skills acquisition. There is even a study focusing on Resilience Quotient since the world is now full of stressful events and in-between interference. These things are necessary steps in personal growth and even in the so-called relationship goals.

No matter what the facts and statistics are saying, you still have to stick to what you believe. You won’t allow others to take away your peace. The people around you are constants and in mathematical equations, there is always a variable where one could control. And in your case, that is YOU. 

In the end, what matters most is how you live your life. Be it meaningful to others or not, your own definition of what’s meaningful dictates your own happiness.

“ And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,

Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;

There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,

And evening full of the linnet’s wings…”

- William Butler Yeats (The Lake Isle of Innisfree)