Misled

                            (photo: IT Life Hacks)

Someone aired her disgust to a superior who told them about things where such stuff are not evident in the life of the prescriptive leader. The culprit has a position where his life is inconsistent to what he is telling them to do.

The danger with conceptual knowledge is when it could not be paired by real application. We remember how we raised our eyebrows to our teachers who prescribe things to us way back in school yet we could not see them doing what they preach. That is the main reason why credibility must be attained prior to the preaching.

In the different fields of profession, we hear complaints from the subordinates on how they dislike their bosses when they push them towards a direction. They just do without the effort of getting there with the team. We hear about murmurs of disgust as the people talk about the feelings they have from their superiors especially in terms of leading and managing them.

So what is that with us in terms of following orders as well? There is repulsion of being pushed when the objectives are not clear, when the mission is vague. This will happen too when the leaders themselves seem to be unclear about their direction, These manifest when their own personal lives are messy; the way they dress is skewed; and the manner they talk and deal with societal norms are based on their narcissistic intentions and not for the common good.

Recently, social scientists are focusing their efforts in having research and studies about personal leadership and looking at the manager within. The results are clear: leaders must know how to lead themselves first prior to becoming a better leader to others. Managers must understand how to manage their resources like time and finances and even their personal lives before they could effectively manage other people.

They must learn how to walk their talk.

Sad that there some of us in the service-providing agencies of the government who do not know how to deal with this. There is a twisted belief that the people are the ones to serve them which is the other way around. Probably, they are overwhelmed by the power given to the point that their personal needs are being addressed NOT for the common good.

It is good to note that the agencies are also investing on the human resources through capacity building and in-service training. These actions might lead to the development of competencies among the leaders and managers in the field. Lesser negative reactions which will lead to counter-productivity will happen if there is harmony and a clear vision of the agencies’ mission.

The terrifying thing to happen is when the appointed leaders and managers persist on their own beliefs. If their stubborn hearts won’t welcome the concept of co-existence and selfishness prevails.

There are even instances when we fear that natural-born evildoers really exist.

Commodity

                                     (photo: west-info.eu)

In CRIMINAL MINDS, the hit American series produced by Mark Gordon, the unsub (unknown subject) will often pick his victim from the streets. The predator then proceeds to his intention of killing the prey in the manner he is fantasizing: he would allow the victim to suffer, skin her or him, disembowel him/her or proceed directly to exterminating the hapless life of the victim. For the unsub, the victim is a useless person… a dehumanized creation. Therefore, the prey is an insignificant part of the society, a pawn in the game he created. (The pronoun he is constantly used since statistics tells us that most of the serial killers are male.)

Since time immemorial prostitutes are considered as the unintended members of the society. They are taboo in social gatherings and they were even considered as accursed. According to mentalhelp.net  there are many reasons why people become sex workers. Some of them have stated that they are attracted by the large sum of money they can earn while they are still young. Others see it as a way to pay for education and further advancement. There are even those who say that they are helping the lonely people to chase away their loneliness.

In third world countries like the Philippines, there are those who consider vending their flesh as a way of survival. They get their resources through prostitution to buy their basic needs like food. There also those people who are born poor and are pressured to cope with societal pressures and trends that they will do anything just to be “in” like having gadgets and clothes en vogue.

But what is the role of us social beings in the community where this fact is starting to thrive among us?

There are those children (male and female) who roam the street for a fee in exchange of sex. They could be considered as budding prostitutes and they are being patronized by the adults as well. Looking at the situation, one could really see the young ones as the victims since the adults around them are allowing them to become what they should NOT be. Their parents are failures in monitoring their well-being to the point that guidance is nil. The patrons are also looking at them like some kind of commodity: like food which could be bought to eradicate their cravings...like a liniment to soothe a fleeting itch.

In a cyclical process, one factor benefits the other to make the flow effective. But these processes are often geared towards the betterment of an output or outcome. But the vicious cycle of allowing things to be skewed must be broken so not to allow worse things to happen. Prostitution and trafficking on persons must not grow in the society. One effective way to deal with it is to become NOT a willing participant of the act.

As adults, there is a need for us to be harbingers of making these people to become humanized. We do not participate on the trade. We could inject ourselves on the system but become an educator. People are human beings, a person is a human with being. Inside them are spirits which could be brought towards the light rather than be pushed to the abysmal darkness. If we patronize them in the de-humanizing process, what are we? What kind of education and morality do we acquire out from the resources our parents spent for our education? What is our BEING and BECOMING?

Yes, we could be imperfect but we could always try to bounce back on situations when we fall. There are valid contributions that we could do not just on our professions but on the societal health in the society where we belong.

“Someone’s thrown away their children...You can see them running from your smile.” - Dio

Continuum

                                          (cartoon: dreamstime.com)

“Then, one black day, Bill (the male nanny) took the children into town to see a pantomime. Not only was the pantomime an inaccurate version of Cinderella…but Bill left four of our children at a bus stop and they were never seen again. To make matters worse, he came home with two children who weren’t ours, whom we had to return.” - Doug Macleod (My Extraordinary Life and Death)

There’s this book which I picked in Fully Booked that could be considered as a nice reflection for our own wise and unwise lives in this world. It seems to be an irony but could also pass as an allegory so for the reader to proceed to a certain level not just on the funny side of it. Indeed, the written gems could be a tool for improving the mantle and the core of our beings.

We get stupid sometimes. It is a fact since we are not born perfect. Our capacities to think must also be paired with the exact movements of our bodies. That is the reason why cognitive intelligence must be paired with psycho motor competence for the concepts to be materialized. Then the affective side of our beings need to be considered as well. There are lots of us who cling to emotions as the most important thing of our existence to the point that the professional ethics are placed as only a side dish. There was a teacher who excused himself from from work since he said he is not feeling good: an emotional conflict happened at home. This could be normal but if the reasons recur, what would we do with it for the sake of the children assigned to us to nurture?

Once we are into public and social services we need to understand our responsibilities to the society we are in. One reason why the communities are infested with skewed things is selfishness. There are some of us who come to the office for the sake of having the salary at the end of the month. Yes, we need to have this since this is one of the reasons why we are working. But when we are service providers, we must also consider the services we are displacing. Do they compensate the amount we receive? Still some of us will react with a violent YES with raised eyebrows but we need to reflect more. Do these services fit the standards we vowed to attain?

For the Professional Regulation Commission (PRC), there is a need for licensed professionals to improve their capacities in terms of the knowledge, skills and attitudes to quality-assure the public and the services rendered. This is the main reason why the CPD (Continuing Professional Development) is required. The commission deems it necessary to make this move to uplift the standards of the services to be rendered by the professionals which could be beneficial to the public.

It is again normal to react. There are complaints in the field since not all of us want to extend an extra mile. We like sitting on our comfort zones since we sometimes do not give a heck to the so-called services. We justify our actions as the best that we could give and we say not-so-good things to the facilitators of these innovations. We repel change. But if we go deeper on the intention of the commission we might realize that is done for the common good.

Once we attend authentic training, we will be build our capacities to better the service that we offer. When we gain bits and pieces of information from the resource persons, we might develop good skills that could be radiated to the people we serve. And when we garner the right attitudes through the seminars that we attend, we might not shout to the client that we are dealing. We may understand that they are the lifeblood of our salary.

In the end, it is how we affect others that matter. The money and material things we acquire in this world are unnecessary props that might be useful for a specific time but will be thrown out of disuse of malfunction. Relationships with human beings are important than the clothes that we wear.

Immaterial

“Why don’t you buy a car for yourself?” gesticulated the acquaintance who reeks with fake perfume and skewed fashion sense so loud it makes her look like a perfect fashion victim. She ranted on the beauty of the SUV’s of the contemporaries and the trips they have abroad.

Sometimes, we are engulfed in that great sense of acquiring things since our wants are being influenced by what we see from our friends and our neighbors. We keep up with the Joneses. This great urge to have what others are having will oftentimes lead to dishonesty or having money out from dishonest and even immoral deeds.

Human nature is that we justify our actions. There are those managers who take resources from government coffers and will then say that they deserve the amount since they have extended their services beyond what is expected of them. Their conscience is clear. They even proudly display themselves in church-led activities for their morality is defined by their own concepts.They are self-righteous and would bite back when someone gives corrective measures. For them, they are doing it the right way.

The reason why spiritual growth is encouraged by the church and the sages is: This allows the person to shy away from being worldly. He is taught to nurture the spirit and eventually makes the “temple” to become simpler and holier. Christian faith inculcates following what Christ showed during his ministry - live a simple life and act as a servant leader.

But why is it that there are those people who are actively engaged in the church yet they still hunger to acquire material things? There are many factors which could lead the discourse to an intricate web. One thing is sure: these persons fail to arrive to a spiritual maturity. Another is that their unmet needs and desires overpower their need to be holy.

What would a car do to a manager whose competencies to be one is nil? Will the signature clothes substitute the capacities of a leader or is it effective leadership? Is the lavishly-constructed house a reflection of a person’s efficacy as a public servant? These are just some of the reflections we need to consider since a lot of times we only linger on the superficial but not the deeper meaning of things.

There is nothing wrong with acquiring things. Living in comfort is one of the reasons why we work. But these things must not muddle with the basic intentions to be honest and good. That is another story. We should also delay gratification since we consider material things and comfort as blessings from the divine. By acquiring stuff at the expense of others and service, there must be a religious fear that we must have that all would be retrieved back…

Yet  we define of our lives differently. That is the reason why there must be common grounds for all. These are faith and the laws of the land. There will be spiritual and moral anarchy when we will not surrender to the divine. There would be chaos and conflict in our land when we will not adhere to its laws.

Also, education must be the sole ammunition in the war against ignorance and the thriving of universal values. The educators must also go deeper to themselves to be able to radiate positive light to the learners to make the world a better one. This battle must be considered since the proliferation of the wrongdoers seem to be the trend these days.

We must understand that we could never square a circle.

New

People are vowing to become better versions of themselves. Their resolutions are glaringly reflected on their social media insights and shout outs.

Basically, the new year is just another date. Although it stands for the entry to another calendar year, it is just another day. But it is innately human to attach emotions to dates and even things to make them significant. Some would even go beyond the expected emotions they resort to depression and even violence since such days awaken experiences which trigger deep-seated or suppressed feelings.

The frenzy of buying food and new clothes could be attributed to the media hype and the marketing strategies of the products and commercial establishments. The young ones would be bombarded by material things the adults are also craving to the point that the spiritual aspect of the celebration (Christmas is a religious activity) is being placed on the sidelights. And such media influences continue to become larger as the internet came. It seems that a family would be left out if they could not post sumptuous and festive gatherings on social media sites.

Then, there is this trend of having resolutions when the first day of the year takes place. There’s nothing wrong about it since planning to become a better person is a positive act. But the question is why wait for the new year to become a better one? Isn’t it reasonable to bounce back during the time when one fell? Still, it is good to have such mindset but plans and promises must be paired with tangible actions to realize the changes to become a better individual.

It all goes back to introspection. There is a need for each of us to look deeper in our selves and identify our own strengths and the aspects that we would like to improve. There is also a great need to focus on the inner self than look at the other persons since there is nothing one could do to change others.

Yet, people tend to be on the surface of things. Going deeper entails maturity and intellectual efforts to become more humble and more reflective. These attributes are difficult to attain since it could not just be done by a flick of the fingers. Instead, it requires the individual to constantly monitor his/her feelings and thoughts to create better plans and change the skewed parts of his/her life.

So what is there to do with the coming in of the new days of the year? We need to move forward remembering the instances when we fail and prove that we can become better ones not committing the same mistakes. We could build relationships. Ultimately, this is one of the basic roles of individuals who belong to a society. Our families must be on the understanding state despite our differences. The romantic bonds could also be strengthened by not being selfish but with self-understanding persons who understand the partners as well. The bigger communities will be strengthened when the smaller ones are being worked out by every member.

Here is hoping that the next 365 days will be filled with pervasive understanding which results to harmony which will eventually make us united even with differences on beliefs, religious convictions, race, skin color, sexual preferences and social status.

Let us make the NEW adjective be our guidepost to replenish the energy to serve as well.

Have a Blast

                            (Sydney photo booth)

Eventology was first heard when people started to consider event organizing as business. Basically it is a statistical jargon which is all about random and vague events. Yet, with the influx of entertainment and leisure as potent avenues for business, people gravitate to such areas to socialize and do the much-needed R&R. This could also be linked to the stressful and busy schedules of the working force they find a need to unwind.

Managing and staging events are skills to be mastered to make the desired outcomes be realized. And since these include people as clients or participants, the persons to man the events must also be knowledgeable in dealing with others. In short, they must be socially-intelligent to be able to come across. It is not enough to have the desire to serve or the need to be recognized for the eventologists to become successful ones. There is a need for them to be trained, educated and have a strong conceptual background of how to manage events to make things happen.

As I observed some of the events being attended lately, I realized that there is a necessity for people to learn how to stage and manage events. You see, selfish intentions and motives won’t make the events happen. Instead, it would become a waste of time and resources that add up to a certain craving to have more events which will also become hollow. A vicious cycle of creating gigs that could be considered as exercises in futility will happen.

Management and leadership must be employed in doing similar things. Policies and the much sought-after monitoring and evaluation should take place.

Here’s a series of thoughts:

Who will be attending the party? What are their motivations and how could we meet their expectations? Eventually, how could we gain something out from it?

The genius of John C. Maxwell will then surface. According to him, everyone wants something. Even the person who appears not to be motivated has desires. You need to find out what people want. Sometimes, they will tell you. Other times you need to use your discernment. Whenever people want something but see no way to get it, they will not be motivated. One of the jobs of the leader is to determine how the people can achieve what they desire.

Building teams will then follow. After the planning phase and identifying the needs of the people who will attend the gigs, the leader then build a strong team to manage the different teams. These teams must act independently and the managers will then become functional. Micromanagement must be avoided so to make things happen.

In the end, it is always a headache to attend a disorganized activity. It could be avoided once the eventologists will come out of their boxes and create meaningful events that would satisfy the multiple desires of the people they are having. You see, most of them even spend resources to attend such gigs yet they end up dissatisfied.

But then again, no matter how boring or exciting the parties could be, what matters most is the friendship and relationships that thrive.

We are All

                              (photo: inquirer.net)

“You spent everything?” the wife asked the partner as they embarked the public utility van. “You seem to be like that one-day millionaire!” she hissed as the van started to depart from the gate of a department store.The husband was quiet. He was probably savoring the time when he was in control with the amount he received from being a construction worker. Whatever happens he was the king during that time. He could play the scenes on his head: the time when he bought that shirt and he was not afraid that he could not pay the exact amount… He could reminisce the exhilaration of that moment when he could feel the money in his pocket and that he could buy anything he wanted.

According to the latest SWS survey, 47% of the 10.9 million families tagged themselves as poor. These are the members of our society where they have hand-to-mouth existence and they work daily to earn a living. These families have students sent to public schools and are being exposed to the difficulties of life. There are those who will survive the difficulties but there are lots who will surrender to their fate.

There are times when we will receive messages from our phones and through the internet from young people who ask for gifts. We tell them that gifts are not supposed to be asked. But these young ones see this time of the year as opportunities for them to have something they wish they have. They oftentimes make is as a joke yet there are those who are lucky enough to get what they want.

These are also opportunities for the predators to thrive on the preys.

With the onslaught of typhoon Vinta, there are people who are displaced from their homes. Most of them are informal settlers who live on the riverbanks or near the sea. Imagine the time when they tried to save their meager belongings to be brought to the evacuation center. Picture the elderly who could not walk without assistance and the small babies crying and wondering what on earth is happening?

These are scenarios that we could not deny. We suffer with them even if we are being protected with the sturdy houses and iron roofing we own. We feel their discomfort as they lie on the cold floor with nothing but those cheap blankets we grimace at inside stores in the bargain boxes. We are also hungry as the stomach of the children crave for solid food and not the half-cooked sardines they received as relief goods.

There are those of us who worry about their relationships. We sometimes fail to go out of the emotional cages that we built forgetting that there are people who need us. Yes, our emotions are important but they are being gifted to us by God not just for ourselves but to be extended to others. We are responsible for our own happiness and we are also born to be generous making such happiness pervasive.

There are those of us who worry about what clothes to wear. But among us, there are those who do not even have clothes. We often worry about what food to prepare on the eve of the 24^th, yet there are people who do not have anything to eat this moment. Our Christmas embellishments are sometimes more expensive that the food some of the children are eating…

There will be storms to face. We could be brave and strong if we face them together.