Full Time

                                                    (photo: topnettools.com)

I am a full-time Facebook worker.

 I devote 97 percent of my waking time ogling the pictures posted. I like reading the shout outs of others and sometimes laugh at their stupidity. I follow the movements of my virtual friends and sometimes, feel sorry for them…They’re so pathetic! They would post their selfies without preparing themselves to be presentable – sometimes they reek of poverty and ugliness!

I’m a full-time Facebook worker.

I know the latest word wars and the scandals posted on this social network! I wince on the grammatical errors of those who dare to post their twisted sentences and I laugh out loud in my room for their sorry situations.

Yes, I’m better than them. I often criticize the way they present their ideas. I always anchor on freedom of speech and opinions but I could not take on their shallow ideas! How dare these imbeciles populate on these grounds? This is my world and the mistakes I commit could be justified. Theirs are purely out of this world!

I like doing springboards on breaking relationships. Friendships must run amok. Lovers must throw negative comments on each other. I like talking about the latest feuds… It’s a nice way to start a conversation – other’s pains!

There are instances when I talk about things in the real world of what’s happening in the Facebook world. I would grimace on the ignorance of others when they tell me that they do not do FB. How could they miss these chances of a lifetime? I do not get alarmed when I would blurt out things I learn from FB. Why should I, that is the normal thing now!

No, I’m not sick. I am just observant, right? 

There are also instances when I sign up for fake identities and feel a sense of exhilaration when I could hurt others. I have this…powerful fluttering inside my heart. It’s like being high from a virtual drug. I could sense the power in me every time I could do something on these lesser beings. 

Why should I read books instead? The pages of those bound paper is not in vogue! I could skim the e-books linked on FB. There are free apps which could be downloaded. Who cares if these are not properly edited and are being digested by editors? I dislike those faggots who often yack on their latest reads! In FB, the people themselves are the books I like reading!

Yes, I’m a full-time Facebook worker. And I could feel that we are many. There might be a time when we will conquer not just the virtual world but the real one.

In FB, it’s like playing God… nay, it is like BEING God.