Hinawajon! There
are those around us who constantly complain; look for the faults of others and
even see the dark side of life ALL THE TIME. The ones who practice dwelling on
the positive side often wonder what kind of life are they living. It seems that
they are enjoying on the suffering and misfortunes of others.
“Remember
that your thoughts are the primary cause of everything. Your thoughts become
things.” These are two sentences that could be considered as BIG WORDS from
Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret”. It can be gleaned from the theories she present
here that disciplining the mind to dwell on the positive side of everything
allows the positive energy to materialize. Most successful persons think
positive thoughts and this is the KEY, their SECRET in attaining their successes.
Thomas
A. Richards, Ph.D. mentions that we spend hours and hours dwelling and
ruminating on the negative and fearful things in our lives. We worry about what
could go wrong, instead of focusing and paying attention to the rational, the
positive and the good. We should train
ourselves to focus on thoughts that will move us forward in the right
direction.
But
why is it that there are some of us who really could NOT appreciate the things
around him/her? According to psychologists, it is because they fail to train
their minds on appreciation. Instead, they are always critical. In the
education, appreciation is a competency which is difficult to attain since it
must be constantly instilled in the lessons specifically in the affective learning
pedagogy.
The
pioneer of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, studied all kinds of
techniques for making people happier. The three he found to be the most
effective were: remembering three positive experiences at the end of every day,
finding a main strength that you have and applying it in a different arena, and
writing a letter of gratitude to somebody and delivering it personally.
We
might also consider the fact that most common mental health problems include a
major component of criticism. In depression people frequently struggle with
self-critical thoughts, in anxiety fear of failure is often bound up with
self-criticism, and self-criticism often also has a key role in body image
issues, self-harm, psychotic experiences, and addictions.
For
this reason, Barker (2016) says that therapies and practices involving kindness
and compassion have become increasingly popular in recent years. The tendency
to evaluate, judge and criticize ourselves harshly is often related to a
similar approach to other people. Therefore expressing gratitude and
appreciation might be a useful counter to this tendency. Perhaps we can
cultivate self-compassion to counter self-criticism, and appreciation to
counter our criticism of others?
Also,
inferiority and envy are the root causes of critical minds. These persons
always gauge themselves with the accomplishments and achievements of others to
the point that they will look for loopholes on others’ personality to feel
secure and feel better than the persons they are comparing themselves with.
When
the criticism becomes constant and vicious, that person is probably not making
a healthy assessment of others’ mistakes. It’s probably more like the defense
mechanism known as “projection.” They see the person as a mirror; they criticize
the things in him or her that they don’t like about themselves.
Psychologists
find that, over time, feeling grateful boosts happiness and fosters both
physical and psychological health, even among those already struggling with
mental health problems. Studies show that practicing gratitude curbs the use of
words expressing negative emotions and shifts inner attention away from such
negative emotions as resentment and envy, minimizing the possibility of
ruminating over them (a hallmark of depression).
So,
let us practice being grateful. Whatever others might look, achieve and even
fail, we try to look for the beauty in the situations.
Let
us make it a point to think that our thoughts matter. Thoughts are matter. They
will soon become real. Do not project something BAD will happen. It might be
realized. It’s like a prayer of its own. Project good things and feel good
inside.
Make
the SECRET be practiced in your life.
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