The Silent Killers

 

                                                 (image: youtube,com)

Pinta mangatik, ambaja kun ya kaw pinta manlibak! Beware of the people who patronize you. They are doing it for something to feed their own SELF. These selfish individual has only one concern: that is to bloat their SELF. They do not feel guilt once they stab you at the back since they are engrossed with flattening their PERCEIVED GREATNESS.

Patronizing is the act of appearing kind or helpful but betraying a feeling of superiority. This is a behavior to be avoided as it can make others feel like you look down on them. A subtle form of bullying, patronizing behavior in the workplace can take many forms including making belittling comments or more talking about people behind their backs (Gervais, 2012).

People act patronizing for different reasons, but usually it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance. One of the main causes was theorized by Piaget called egocentric behavior. Egocentrism refers to someone's INABILITY to understand that another person's view or opinion may be different than their own. It represents a cognitive bias, in that someone would assume that others share the same perspective as they do, unable to imagine that other people would have a perception of their own. Although this was focused on children, developmental psychologists theorized that there are adults who are stuck on this stage.

There are people in the ecology who make their tactics of egocentrism as if they like you. They give you compliments and they even praise the minute things you do. But deep in them, they are actually doing this to gain your affection and attention which will later be used for their own benefit. They are doing the same to others. Those who dislike you will also be patronized by them. They will agree on your seemingly “perverse” ways but praise you up front.

These are dangerous people.

The Institute for Safe Medical Practices warns against the negative impacts of disrespectful behavior as it has been known to “chill communication and collaboration, undercut individual contributions, undermine staff morale, increase staff resignations and absenteeism, create an unhealthy or hostile work environment, and cause some to abandon their profession.” When patronizing behaviors are present a person’s ability to think clearly, make sound judgments, and speak up regarding questions or concerns is diminished.

Since we cannot change them since it is in their power to do so, we can only change our behavior towards them. We can leave them to themselves and the people they deserve to be. Since they do not want to be corrected and will stick to their own beliefs, let them be. Their own success is determined by their actions. One might wonder what kind of success that would be! We can move forward and let them rot with their insecurities!

Everyone knows what it’s like to be around someone who just doesn’t make them feel great about themselves, do the rest of the humanity a favor and actively work to not be that person and help to pour into others to foster a positive space for collaboration and communication.

Do not stick to these people. They are just roadblocks to your dynamism. They always pull you down because you’re on top of them! They always talk at your back simply because they are BEHIND you! Move on. Life is better without them.