Bisan hawoy, padajon ta. Strong people are not bent by petty
things. They will pick themselves up every time the fall. They have this
mindset that life is a continuous battle of having victories and defeats. The
mindset allows them to continue to struggle even with the adversities around.
Going bankrupt, failing an
important exam, and walking away from an abusive marriage. Living with
depression or a child in jail, knowing you are socially awkward, needing help
to manage life… being sick. These are not your identity; they are simply part
of your story.
Our stories have their ups and
downs. We need to understand that there is no perfect story. Even in movies, we
always expect to see the CONFLICT which will lead to the denouement. The “happy
ever after” phase is always looked for yet we need to understand that our life
is a continuum of different stages. That is the reason why we have to
understand how to be kind to ourselves.
Self-bullying arises from lack of
compassion and kindness towards oneself. It is often engendered by painful
childhood experiences that left a child with emotional scars. Children are more
vulnerable and susceptible to negativity, so harsh criticism from parents,
teachers, or peers can easily shatter their confidence, making them feel
insecure or inadequate (Flaxington, 2015).
With this fact, we have to
consider evaluating our own selves if we are inflicting our own pains. Yes,
there are people around who could do that. But PAIN will linger when we allow
it to greatly affect us. Again, the pain we feel (either self-inflicted or done
by others) is not our identity. They CANNOT define us. There are many parts of
us which are worth to be cherished and appreciated.
Expressing displeasure with the
sources of your frustration does not need to involve ‘going ballistic’. There
are alternative ways of doing so which entail calmly and assertively
communicating your points verbally or in writing. Setting boundaries in this
manner will make it easier for you to pick yourself up the next time you’ve
fallen down.
A good way to remind yourself of this is by regularly noting
mentally or in writing the people and things you are grateful for. This is a
research-substantiated technique for improving your mood which we have to
practice. This will allow your spirit to be lifted since you will feel the
moral support of those who love you. For sure, they will understand your
defeats as part of your growth.
Let us journey on. There are still good things to be felt
and experienced ahead. Although we are in a bleak atmosphere these days, there
is always beauty amidst the difficulties.
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