Bloom

 

                                              (image: youtube.com)

Pasagdi an mga hawod. In real life, there are those who are drunk with their ambitions. Most of the time, they step on others just to fulfil their dreams. In many cases, these persons are not aware that they are not growing. In fact, with the insecurities fueling their drive, they are shrinking.

People who struggle with boundaries are often people-pleasers, stepping on others along the process. It’s a coping mechanism – usually learnt from childhood. At the root of most people-pleasers is the child who didn’t feel worthy of love – who had to chase it by “fitting in” and pleasing others (typically, a parent). The parents of people-pleasers often have one thing in common: an inconsistent parenting style. And this can be for any number of reasons (often not intentional). Maybe they had a lot going on in their lives, struggling with mental illness, addiction etc. (thechelseapsychologyclinic.com).

We encounter them around: in school, work or even the neighborhood. These people are so engrossed with their ambitions so for the people will admire them. They are often successful but it is noticeable that their relationship with others are not good. These individual simply work for themselves and NOT for others.

According to University of Connecticut’s Anne Dailey (2017), “We say that people have good boundaries when they are able to restrain their impulses, to limit desire, to hold back, to tolerate frustration” (p. 13). But the need to satisfy their ambitions sometimes pushes these types to our areas. They pose as friends only to realize later that they just want something from us. Once they have what they want, they step on us and continue pursuing their ambitions by moving on to others’ areas to benefit from them. They are insatiable.

If someone needs to minimize your strengths and achievements to make themselves feel better, you don't need them in your life. Stay away from people who don't know "how to appreciate your hard work and can't rejoice in your accomplishments," suggests operations coordinator Anshul Sharma.

Again, let us go back to self-care. In many instances, all we have to do is to continue growing on our own. Let us not allow those people with childhood traumas affect us. Let them simmer on their own negative juices and let us embrace our own minor or major successes.

In the end, accomplishments are NOT always equated to happiness. The real one involve being happy of what we do despite the “mediocre” concept of others on our own definitions it.

Life is short. Let us do what we can without compromising our moral and ethical values.