(image: youtube.com)
Pasagdi an mga hawod. In
real life, there are those who are drunk with their ambitions. Most of the
time, they step on others just to fulfil their dreams. In many cases, these
persons are not aware that they are not growing. In fact, with the insecurities
fueling their drive, they are shrinking.
People who
struggle with boundaries are often people-pleasers, stepping on others along
the process. It’s a coping mechanism – usually learnt from childhood. At the
root of most people-pleasers is the child who didn’t feel worthy of love – who
had to chase it by “fitting in” and pleasing others (typically, a parent). The
parents of people-pleasers often have one thing in common: an inconsistent
parenting style. And this can be for any number of reasons (often not
intentional). Maybe they had a lot going on in their lives, struggling with
mental illness, addiction etc. (thechelseapsychologyclinic.com).
We encounter
them around: in school, work or even the neighborhood. These people are so
engrossed with their ambitions so for the people will admire them. They are
often successful but it is noticeable that their relationship with others are not
good. These individual simply work for themselves and NOT for others.
According to
University of Connecticut’s Anne Dailey (2017), “We say that people have good
boundaries when they are able to restrain their impulses, to limit desire, to
hold back, to tolerate frustration” (p. 13). But the need to satisfy their
ambitions sometimes pushes these types to our areas. They pose as friends only
to realize later that they just want something from us. Once they have what
they want, they step on us and continue pursuing their ambitions by moving on
to others’ areas to benefit from them. They are insatiable.
If someone needs
to minimize your strengths and achievements to make themselves feel better, you
don't need them in your life. Stay away from people who don't know "how to
appreciate your hard work and can't rejoice in your accomplishments,"
suggests operations coordinator Anshul Sharma.
Again, let us go
back to self-care. In many instances, all we have to do is to continue growing on
our own. Let us not allow those people with childhood traumas affect us. Let
them simmer on their own negative juices and let us embrace our own minor or major
successes.
In the end,
accomplishments are NOT always equated to happiness. The real one involve being
happy of what we do despite the “mediocre” concept of others on our own
definitions it.
Life is short.
Let us do what we can without compromising our moral and ethical values.
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