Hostile

 

Maglagot sija kun kalabwan isan na kun hamok ganahn sa iban kay sa ija! There are people you know who will be irked when they notice that someone is more appreciated than them.

Envy is the personal pain caused by the desire for the advantages of others. In Envy is mean and miserly, and arguably the most shameful of the deadly sins (Burton, 2014).

But there are those people who tend to hurt others due to their envy. This is when HOSTILE ENVY is developed by people starting from a young age.

Hostile envy occurs when you feel angry and want the other person to fail in some way. You might criticize their success or their personal qualities, claim their success was undeserving, or claim that they manipulated their way into their position (Leahy,2015).

After achieving something, the person with hostile envy will look for your mistakes. These types will then magnify such mistakes and they will even say mean words to you. You often get affected with their deeds since they won’t stop until you will be emotionally hurt.

Schadenfreude is a German term composed of Schaden, that means “harm,” and Freude, that means “joy,” so the word Schadenfreude refers to the pleasure at another's misfortune.

Experts hypothesize that misfortune afflicting an envied person can bring pleasure because it makes the advantaged target less enviable, as well as removing the underlying envy (Saleh, 2019).

Is this healthy? Of course not! This condition is a skew in the psychological well-being of a person.

Schadenfreude is thought to be closely linked to Dark Triad traits (ie, narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy), as well as sensational interests, including those in guns, knives, true crime, the occult, and Nazism.

In reality, they are around us. They are members of your family, officemates, your boss, an acquaintance or even inside the circle of your friends.

Let us avoid these people. They often steal our sanity.

Pathetic

 

                                              (image: invajy.com)

Imbes kay nagkatiguyang na… Physical age can be counted by number of birthdays. Psychological or emotional age, by contrast, becomes evident in emotional reactions and habits.

Childish behavior is usually annoying to many people and thus unattractive because if a person is childish, he/she is self-centered and may not be able to understand another person’s perspective and condition (Surbhi, 2019).

Why do these people have children trapped in adults’ bodies?

Joyce Marter, LCPC (2021) explains that emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments during early life experiences, trauma, untreated addiction or mental health problems, and/or lack of deeper introspection or work on oneself. It can manifest as self-centeredness, narcissism, and poor management of conflict.

That is why people often consider depression and anxiety as the alarming mental health conditions not realizing that there are more pressing problems hounding families and organizations because of such mental conditions.

Hindered by childhoods that are traumatic, neglectful, or otherwise hurtful and lackluster, some people develop these traits out of necessity, observance, or a simple lack of options. Emotional immaturity can manifest in coping mechanisms and can be linked to the deepest parts of our experiences.

A lot of episodes of being hurt are caused by these people. It can be unfair since we are not here in this world to get hurt. Intentional or not, these immature persons must also realize the havoc they have wreaked on people’s lives.

But then, narcissists are frequently unwilling to change because regaining vulnerability and opening up means losing control.

World Domination

 

                                                  (image: youtube.com)

Bisan unhon pa, di ton mag-utro…Sakto man sila pirme! Do you think those with controlling attitudes will reflect and change? That could be impossible!

Self-righteousness stems from a personality disorder, such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. People who suffer from this illness tend to feel that their opinions, ethics, or views are always correct. Generally, they won’t make an attempt to listen or understand the views of another person (Conor, 2021).

You notice that these persons seem to control all things around them – their need to “have a say” on everything is so intense they often do not understand that there are things others prepared for; That there are things of which others are emotionally-attached. They would say: What a waste of time!

Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle goes as far as to describe the need to be right as a form of violence. At its mildest, it is inflexibility. At its height, it manifests as dominance. The compulsion to inflict our opinions of the world on another originates in fear. Its opposites are humility and compassion.

A dominant personality is a personality type that often leads themselves and others into action. It’s primarily defined by an overarching motivation for power and a sense of pride.

Gilette (2022) posits that dominance across many species is often associated with patterns of behaviors that involve intimidation, coercion, and aggression.

These types of personalities tend to dominate the people around them. They do not care about the feelings they may hurt since they are incapable of empathizing.

According to Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, a board certified psychiatrist out of Houston, “As far as empathy and compassion are concerned, it is usually less than others,” she says. “They do not like to follow but prefer to lead.”

Organizations are full of these types. That is the main reason why there are those who prefer to leave their jobs than become a person suffering from a toxic environment.

Abusive behaviors in a relationship, which are always about power and control, can be signs of a mental health condition and not only a personality type.

A 2012 review from the National Library of Medicine into dominance behavior found dominant personality traits often overlapped with mania and narcissism.

So, communicating these to the culprit can be an exercise in futility. A medical intervention is needed.

Leave Them!

 

                                                (image: youtube.com)

Nalooy man gaod ako pagtan-aw sa ija samtang tag-isgan sija. Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.

When one feels the pain of being humiliated, the person understands how this can be felt inside. But there are those who are incapable of being compassionate.

According to Lonezak (2019), compassion is as vital to life as the air we breathe. For in the absence of compassion, how many benevolent, selfless and heroic deeds fail to happen throughout history?

What happens when you don’t feel it? Is it possible to lack compassion altogether? And if so, is this a sign of a mental health condition?

Being highly critical with others; unable to control emotions; immune or unaware of others’ feelings; accuse people of being highly-sensitive/emotional; over-reacting; behaving inappropriately and insensitively; can NOT be happy for others and have troubles in maintaining relationships are few symptoms of having lack of compassion.

People who lack empathy may have grown up around parents and other family members who had trouble regulating their own emotions or exhibited insensitivity or little compassion toward them. Or, they’ve dealt with other difficult situations that have caused them to shut down. A lack of compassion is also characteristic of personality disorders like narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder (Berlinsky-Schine, 2022).

Lacking the ability to feel, understand and resonate with another’s feelings is categorized as empathy deficit disorder (EDD). This results in difficulty forming and maintaining relationships for both the individual who lacks empathy and potential friends and loved ones.

Indeed, it is no wonder why people only have few friends that even their relatives are avoiding them.

 

Predators

 

Ako na noon an motabi? According to Pedersen (2022) If the controlling and narcissistic behaviors continue and affect your self-esteem or autonomy, consider leaving. For instance, if your manager/supervisor is constantly micromanaging or belittling you, it’s probably time look for another job.

Have you ever wondered what makes controlling people tick?

Controlling people often prey upon those they’re closest to, taking advantage of others’ introversion, submissive tendencies, or simple good faith. Controlling people tend to prey on the kindest folks they can find.

Being manipulated, used, or controlled by another person can lead to a number of harmful effects. Some may be so subtle, that you don’t realize until you’re cemented into a toxic, controlling relationship with your friend, coworker, or partner.

Eventually, if someone feels truly and strongly that they have little free choice of their own and always have to be doing what the other person wants, they will long to break free. They will feel restrained, contained, and restricted and thus, will feel an urge to escape, act out, or even leave (Meredith, 2021).

But what about letting them realize their insanity? Isn’t it unfair to be victimized all the time?

When coercive control becomes a pattern of behavior, it’s considered abuse. One must never have to accept abuse to happen in a person’s life.

Patricia Evans, author of Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand and Deal with People Who Try to Control You, told BBC it's "crucial to listen for ways a controlling person tries to enter your mind and dictate your reality." Stop giving them the pleasure of succeeding.

Since most of them have psychological issues, why not allow them to be stewed by their own toxicity? If they are unkind to us, we can as well be mean, right?

Sometimes, the preys must also fight the predators.