Kinahanglan mapansin.
Ever wondered why some people want
to be in the spotlight most of the time? They are not interested in events when
they are just onlookers. They need to have a role to be in the limelight. They
even get offended when they are not recognized.
You prioritize other things
rather than what you are being paid to do. Although you see your work as
meaningful and important, there are instances when you put this aside to
address an unmet need. Example, you tell a lie just to attend a gathering where
you feel that you are recognized. Chances are, you have this hunger for recognition
or even affirmation.
Eric Berne, the one who
theorized Transactional Analysis, defines recognition hunger as the need to be
noticed or to receive attention and acknowledgement, which can only be supplied
by another human being. It is a need for a sense of belonging and a feeling
that other people know you exist in the world.
While all humans need
affirmation from others, different people have different sorts of recognition
hunger. Some are so internally weak; they need constant validation and
applause. They seek publicity for themselves. They want to be noticed, and they
ache when they are not noticed.
The hungrier they are for
recognition, the weaker they are within themselves. They don’t think their life
matters unless they receive constant attention, however superficial or
ephemeral. It may seem odd, but it is often very true, that the most “popular”
and “powerful” people are also the most lonely and insecure people [Angel,
2021].
Often, if people did not
receive enough love, care, nurture, attention, protection, security, or support
as a child, they seek these needs out from others. Seeking validation or
approval from others or staying in a bad relationship are manifestations of
this need.
Others also rely on other
external means, such as materialism, throw themselves into work, over-eat or
drink excessively.
Feedback from family and
friends is important. But when the need persists to the point that the actions
are already unhealthy, psychotherapy and counselling are deemed necessary.
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