Hungrier

 

Kinahanglan mapansin.

Ever wondered why some people want to be in the spotlight most of the time? They are not interested in events when they are just onlookers. They need to have a role to be in the limelight. They even get offended when they are not recognized.

You prioritize other things rather than what you are being paid to do. Although you see your work as meaningful and important, there are instances when you put this aside to address an unmet need. Example, you tell a lie just to attend a gathering where you feel that you are recognized. Chances are, you have this hunger for recognition or even affirmation.

Eric Berne, the one who theorized Transactional Analysis, defines recognition hunger as the need to be noticed or to receive attention and acknowledgement, which can only be supplied by another human being. It is a need for a sense of belonging and a feeling that other people know you exist in the world.

While all humans need affirmation from others, different people have different sorts of recognition hunger. Some are so internally weak; they need constant validation and applause. They seek publicity for themselves. They want to be noticed, and they ache when they are not noticed.

The hungrier they are for recognition, the weaker they are within themselves. They don’t think their life matters unless they receive constant attention, however superficial or ephemeral. It may seem odd, but it is often very true, that the most “popular” and “powerful” people are also the most lonely and insecure people [Angel, 2021].

Often, if people did not receive enough love, care, nurture, attention, protection, security, or support as a child, they seek these needs out from others. Seeking validation or approval from others or staying in a bad relationship are manifestations of this need.

Others also rely on other external means, such as materialism, throw themselves into work, over-eat or drink excessively.

Feedback from family and friends is important. But when the need persists to the point that the actions are already unhealthy, psychotherapy and counselling are deemed necessary.