Obsessed with the Self

 

                                              (image: youtube.com)

Nakalaong na sakto pa an lihok.

Some individuals are often perceived as merely selfish, believing their own rules should govern the world. However, their apparent inability to empathize with those they hurt emotionally may stem not from malice, but from an underlying mental disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of genuine empathy for others. People with NPD often come across as arrogant or entitled, and they may manipulate or dismiss others to protect their fragile self-image.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) affects approximately 0.8% to 6.2% of the global population. Studies have found a lifetime prevalence of 6.2%, with 7.7% in men and 4.8% in women (narcissisticman.com, 2024).

Beneath the fearsome façade lies a lonely, vulnerable child, quietly aching for connection. The display of authority is often just a fragile mask, carefully constructed to conceal deep-rooted insecurities.

The inflated sense of authority and entitlement typically seen in narcissistic individuals serves as a psychological shield, masking feelings of inadequacy, shame, and loneliness (Millon, 2011). According to Kohut’s self-psychology theory, the narcissistic personality develops as a result of disruptions in early self-object relationships, leaving the person emotionally stunted and longing for validation through external admiration (Kohut, 1977).

The apparent lack of empathy and need for control can be seen not simply as manipulation, but as a maladaptive coping strategy to protect a fragile sense of self.

Is this some form of insanity?

Clinically, the actual terms to be used are psychosis, delusions, or loss of reality testing instead of insanity since the latter is more of a legal term used to determine whether a person can be held responsible for their actions in court.

However, individuals with NPD can experience what is known as a "narcissistic collapse" - a breakdown of their usual defenses, often triggered by a major blow to their self-image (like public humiliation, failure, or rejection). During this time, they may experience intense depression, paranoia, rage, or even brief psychotic episodes, such as delusional thinking or dissociation (Ronningstam, 2005).

Emotional outbursts during a narcissistic collapse can be manifestations of brief psychotic episodes, reflecting a temporary break from reality driven by overwhelming stress and fragile self-esteem.

Is this harmful not just to the person but to others?

These outbursts can escalate into impulsive or retaliatory actions aimed at regaining control, which may lead to emotional abuse or coercive manipulation (Kernberg, 2016). While the collapse itself is rooted in profound psychological distress, the harm caused by such episodes can have lasting effects on the emotional well-being of partners, coworkers, and others who are exposed to the individual’s erratic behavior. This highlights the need for effective therapeutic intervention to address the underlying vulnerabilities and prevent interpersonal damage (Millon, 2011).

Given that denial is a pervasive defense mechanism among individuals with certain mental health conditions, the best we can do is protect ourselves from their harmful behaviors while striving to understand the complexities of their situation.

But when we are hurt too much, we understand how to defend ourselves right? We can even send them to the mental institution by simply doing the things they abhor!