Queer

                            (photo: Suburban Living Magazine)

Bullies. They exist anywhere. We could not eradicate them from our system. During our elementary days, we often experience being bullied by someone who saw you as “different, small, fragile, queer” or anything they see as NOT normal. A lot of us cower on the power they feign and we often pray that we won’t encounter any of them on the streets or near the classroom.

During the high school years, the bullies continue to hold on to such artificial power for them to feel complete. Later in life, we understand them as insecure people who lack the love, affection and care from their parents or families. We later realize how pitiful their lives are and bullying is the only activity they are good at since academics, skills-oriented events and the affective side are deprived of them.

When young adulthood happens, the bullies feed on body shaming, gossips and even aiming for a better status. Social climbing is not alien to those bullies who deny their meager backgrounds. They will join friends who could be considered as the IN crowd and laugh at the nerds and the “trying-hard”. They could not grasp the idea that studying and perseverance are not disabilities but requisites for success and a secure future.

It is only in adulthood when the bullies realize that the people they bullied are better than them. There are those who are well-off than their meager existence. And that is the sweetest revenge that the bullied one could offer. Inner strength must be developed by the so-called weaklings since this will allow them to become resilient with emotional turmoils. Again, in reality, bullies exist so we need to prepare ourselves for them.

If someone call you UGLY since they feel beautiful/handsome now, let them be. They are prone to be courted in high school since they are physically-attractive. Chances are, they are often in and out of relationships they could never concentrate with the development of their brains. Or, they will get married at an early age since they look good! Later, you will become more beautiful/handsome than them since you could then buy things they could not afford!

If someone tags you FAT, let them be. The reason why you are probably fat is that you have plenty of food provided by your parents. Or, you are genetically-designed to be that. Being fat will not hamper you to pursue your goals. In fact, in a politically-correct environment that we have now, boutiques for plus size persons are thriving. Let them wallow in their ignorance.

There are those who scream FAGGOT to you if you’re gay or queer. You could scream back their grades to their faces or keep your cool. They will be the ones to need your services in the future for make-up or clothes and hair. You could make them look like a fashion victim and tell them that they are NOT worthy of your creations. Or, you could ask for a very expensive fee: those of which they could not afford.

But these things could be unhealthy. The best thing to deal with them is to allow them to wallow in their inefficiencies. They are not better than you. You are better than them. Do not allow depression to assault you since this is counterproductive.

In the meantime, we could sit at the corner and let the “confident” ones have their moments. We could keep our own company and read. We could write on our journals or cut clips. We might as well utilize our time by honing our skills rather than wasting our time on the streets. We could allow them to call us names but we will not get affected.

In the near future, we could have our own laughter, more sincere than their superficial existence. 

Eject

                            (photo: IndyStar)

Lately, the brouhaha over the proposed impeachment of another Chief Justice in the judiciary escalated. One reason of its validity is the so-called psychological capacity of Sereno to lead the department where checks and balances are of essence.

Geraldine Tria, a clinical psychologist said that Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno manifested grandiosity, unlimited power, sense of entitlement, lack of empathy and has the trait to take advantage of others. Her statement is based on an assessment they conducted prior to Sereno’s appointment.

But then, aren’t these things manifest in other leaders of the government offices both elected and appointed?

Let us linger on this aspect especially in other sectors in the governments where there are heads whose mental stability could sometimes cause the gravitational pull of the earth to be inconsistent with its acceleration (which in that case is 9.8 m/s2).

In the education department, schools are being led and managed by school heads either designated or those who passed the Principals Test. But how many of them are capable enough of understanding the ecology of the school in terms of the demographics and data based on the schools’ profile? There is what we call as the psychological blueprint of the schools based on the cultural background and the influences of the community the school is located. Are they equipped with the impending “moods” a school might acquire? Then if not, would it be ground enough to expel them from the system? What if their purpose of becoming a head is solely for power and fame? You see, just like the judiciary, this sector is strong and influential enough to dictate the future of the country.

In the local government units, how many legislators could be considered as strategic thinkers? Do they base their legislation on the psychological make-up of the social spectrum of the micro community they are elected into office? Are they considering the psycho-social impact of the ordinances they file and defend? What if the local chief executives do not have empathy? Are they going to be exposed to an activity which is similar to an impeachment?

For many years now of observing the movements in government offices, one could  cower on the insensitivity of the so-called servants to the clientele. How many hospital personnel are there who denied the patients to their rights to be treated with their illnesses? How many nurses who were trained to give tender love and care to the patients who leave such traits to others? How many teachers are there who only see their learners as their tasks? How many elected politicians are there in the different parts of the country who only see the people as “votes” which will place them in power? These things and actions are being mandated by the psychological capacity of these persons in rendering their services. Another, of course, is their morality.

The point is this: How do we measure psychological capacity? Is it from the opinion of the experts? What about the direct evidences and hard realities which could be directly observed?

In the evolution of conducting researches and dissertations, the statistical tools used and the qualitative way of getting data are now being married so not to limit only to perceptions but could lead to a scientific inference. The data gathered are being treated in a keen and analytical manner to arrive to a certain theory or a recommendation.

Direct observations to social media accounts and even looking at the journal entries of a person could lead towards an assessment. But what if this assessment will only fall on the perceptive “truth” which later could lead in the forming of an opinion?

We could not discredit the psychologists and psychiatrists with the science they have been studying and mastering. But wouldn’t we rely more on the so-called common sense by looking at the hard facts the person is displacing?

Yet, the talk is centered on the impeachment of a leader. Of course, we dislike being led by someone who could thwart future realities. His or her line of thought could mar the direction towards the common good. Yet, we might as well consider this event to arrive to a deeper reflection on the conditions of the other sectors in our society and even in our own selves and families.

Misled

                            (photo: IT Life Hacks)

Someone aired her disgust to a superior who told them about things where such stuff are not evident in the life of the prescriptive leader. The culprit has a position where his life is inconsistent to what he is telling them to do.

The danger with conceptual knowledge is when it could not be paired by real application. We remember how we raised our eyebrows to our teachers who prescribe things to us way back in school yet we could not see them doing what they preach. That is the main reason why credibility must be attained prior to the preaching.

In the different fields of profession, we hear complaints from the subordinates on how they dislike their bosses when they push them towards a direction. They just do without the effort of getting there with the team. We hear about murmurs of disgust as the people talk about the feelings they have from their superiors especially in terms of leading and managing them.

So what is that with us in terms of following orders as well? There is repulsion of being pushed when the objectives are not clear, when the mission is vague. This will happen too when the leaders themselves seem to be unclear about their direction, These manifest when their own personal lives are messy; the way they dress is skewed; and the manner they talk and deal with societal norms are based on their narcissistic intentions and not for the common good.

Recently, social scientists are focusing their efforts in having research and studies about personal leadership and looking at the manager within. The results are clear: leaders must know how to lead themselves first prior to becoming a better leader to others. Managers must understand how to manage their resources like time and finances and even their personal lives before they could effectively manage other people.

They must learn how to walk their talk.

Sad that there some of us in the service-providing agencies of the government who do not know how to deal with this. There is a twisted belief that the people are the ones to serve them which is the other way around. Probably, they are overwhelmed by the power given to the point that their personal needs are being addressed NOT for the common good.

It is good to note that the agencies are also investing on the human resources through capacity building and in-service training. These actions might lead to the development of competencies among the leaders and managers in the field. Lesser negative reactions which will lead to counter-productivity will happen if there is harmony and a clear vision of the agencies’ mission.

The terrifying thing to happen is when the appointed leaders and managers persist on their own beliefs. If their stubborn hearts won’t welcome the concept of co-existence and selfishness prevails.

There are even instances when we fear that natural-born evildoers really exist.

Commodity

                                     (photo: west-info.eu)

In CRIMINAL MINDS, the hit American series produced by Mark Gordon, the unsub (unknown subject) will often pick his victim from the streets. The predator then proceeds to his intention of killing the prey in the manner he is fantasizing: he would allow the victim to suffer, skin her or him, disembowel him/her or proceed directly to exterminating the hapless life of the victim. For the unsub, the victim is a useless person… a dehumanized creation. Therefore, the prey is an insignificant part of the society, a pawn in the game he created. (The pronoun he is constantly used since statistics tells us that most of the serial killers are male.)

Since time immemorial prostitutes are considered as the unintended members of the society. They are taboo in social gatherings and they were even considered as accursed. According to mentalhelp.net  there are many reasons why people become sex workers. Some of them have stated that they are attracted by the large sum of money they can earn while they are still young. Others see it as a way to pay for education and further advancement. There are even those who say that they are helping the lonely people to chase away their loneliness.

In third world countries like the Philippines, there are those who consider vending their flesh as a way of survival. They get their resources through prostitution to buy their basic needs like food. There also those people who are born poor and are pressured to cope with societal pressures and trends that they will do anything just to be “in” like having gadgets and clothes en vogue.

But what is the role of us social beings in the community where this fact is starting to thrive among us?

There are those children (male and female) who roam the street for a fee in exchange of sex. They could be considered as budding prostitutes and they are being patronized by the adults as well. Looking at the situation, one could really see the young ones as the victims since the adults around them are allowing them to become what they should NOT be. Their parents are failures in monitoring their well-being to the point that guidance is nil. The patrons are also looking at them like some kind of commodity: like food which could be bought to eradicate their cravings...like a liniment to soothe a fleeting itch.

In a cyclical process, one factor benefits the other to make the flow effective. But these processes are often geared towards the betterment of an output or outcome. But the vicious cycle of allowing things to be skewed must be broken so not to allow worse things to happen. Prostitution and trafficking on persons must not grow in the society. One effective way to deal with it is to become NOT a willing participant of the act.

As adults, there is a need for us to be harbingers of making these people to become humanized. We do not participate on the trade. We could inject ourselves on the system but become an educator. People are human beings, a person is a human with being. Inside them are spirits which could be brought towards the light rather than be pushed to the abysmal darkness. If we patronize them in the de-humanizing process, what are we? What kind of education and morality do we acquire out from the resources our parents spent for our education? What is our BEING and BECOMING?

Yes, we could be imperfect but we could always try to bounce back on situations when we fall. There are valid contributions that we could do not just on our professions but on the societal health in the society where we belong.

“Someone’s thrown away their children...You can see them running from your smile.” - Dio

Continuum

                                          (cartoon: dreamstime.com)

“Then, one black day, Bill (the male nanny) took the children into town to see a pantomime. Not only was the pantomime an inaccurate version of Cinderella…but Bill left four of our children at a bus stop and they were never seen again. To make matters worse, he came home with two children who weren’t ours, whom we had to return.” - Doug Macleod (My Extraordinary Life and Death)

There’s this book which I picked in Fully Booked that could be considered as a nice reflection for our own wise and unwise lives in this world. It seems to be an irony but could also pass as an allegory so for the reader to proceed to a certain level not just on the funny side of it. Indeed, the written gems could be a tool for improving the mantle and the core of our beings.

We get stupid sometimes. It is a fact since we are not born perfect. Our capacities to think must also be paired with the exact movements of our bodies. That is the reason why cognitive intelligence must be paired with psycho motor competence for the concepts to be materialized. Then the affective side of our beings need to be considered as well. There are lots of us who cling to emotions as the most important thing of our existence to the point that the professional ethics are placed as only a side dish. There was a teacher who excused himself from from work since he said he is not feeling good: an emotional conflict happened at home. This could be normal but if the reasons recur, what would we do with it for the sake of the children assigned to us to nurture?

Once we are into public and social services we need to understand our responsibilities to the society we are in. One reason why the communities are infested with skewed things is selfishness. There are some of us who come to the office for the sake of having the salary at the end of the month. Yes, we need to have this since this is one of the reasons why we are working. But when we are service providers, we must also consider the services we are displacing. Do they compensate the amount we receive? Still some of us will react with a violent YES with raised eyebrows but we need to reflect more. Do these services fit the standards we vowed to attain?

For the Professional Regulation Commission (PRC), there is a need for licensed professionals to improve their capacities in terms of the knowledge, skills and attitudes to quality-assure the public and the services rendered. This is the main reason why the CPD (Continuing Professional Development) is required. The commission deems it necessary to make this move to uplift the standards of the services to be rendered by the professionals which could be beneficial to the public.

It is again normal to react. There are complaints in the field since not all of us want to extend an extra mile. We like sitting on our comfort zones since we sometimes do not give a heck to the so-called services. We justify our actions as the best that we could give and we say not-so-good things to the facilitators of these innovations. We repel change. But if we go deeper on the intention of the commission we might realize that is done for the common good.

Once we attend authentic training, we will be build our capacities to better the service that we offer. When we gain bits and pieces of information from the resource persons, we might develop good skills that could be radiated to the people we serve. And when we garner the right attitudes through the seminars that we attend, we might not shout to the client that we are dealing. We may understand that they are the lifeblood of our salary.

In the end, it is how we affect others that matter. The money and material things we acquire in this world are unnecessary props that might be useful for a specific time but will be thrown out of disuse of malfunction. Relationships with human beings are important than the clothes that we wear.

Immaterial

“Why don’t you buy a car for yourself?” gesticulated the acquaintance who reeks with fake perfume and skewed fashion sense so loud it makes her look like a perfect fashion victim. She ranted on the beauty of the SUV’s of the contemporaries and the trips they have abroad.

Sometimes, we are engulfed in that great sense of acquiring things since our wants are being influenced by what we see from our friends and our neighbors. We keep up with the Joneses. This great urge to have what others are having will oftentimes lead to dishonesty or having money out from dishonest and even immoral deeds.

Human nature is that we justify our actions. There are those managers who take resources from government coffers and will then say that they deserve the amount since they have extended their services beyond what is expected of them. Their conscience is clear. They even proudly display themselves in church-led activities for their morality is defined by their own concepts.They are self-righteous and would bite back when someone gives corrective measures. For them, they are doing it the right way.

The reason why spiritual growth is encouraged by the church and the sages is: This allows the person to shy away from being worldly. He is taught to nurture the spirit and eventually makes the “temple” to become simpler and holier. Christian faith inculcates following what Christ showed during his ministry - live a simple life and act as a servant leader.

But why is it that there are those people who are actively engaged in the church yet they still hunger to acquire material things? There are many factors which could lead the discourse to an intricate web. One thing is sure: these persons fail to arrive to a spiritual maturity. Another is that their unmet needs and desires overpower their need to be holy.

What would a car do to a manager whose competencies to be one is nil? Will the signature clothes substitute the capacities of a leader or is it effective leadership? Is the lavishly-constructed house a reflection of a person’s efficacy as a public servant? These are just some of the reflections we need to consider since a lot of times we only linger on the superficial but not the deeper meaning of things.

There is nothing wrong with acquiring things. Living in comfort is one of the reasons why we work. But these things must not muddle with the basic intentions to be honest and good. That is another story. We should also delay gratification since we consider material things and comfort as blessings from the divine. By acquiring stuff at the expense of others and service, there must be a religious fear that we must have that all would be retrieved back…

Yet  we define of our lives differently. That is the reason why there must be common grounds for all. These are faith and the laws of the land. There will be spiritual and moral anarchy when we will not surrender to the divine. There would be chaos and conflict in our land when we will not adhere to its laws.

Also, education must be the sole ammunition in the war against ignorance and the thriving of universal values. The educators must also go deeper to themselves to be able to radiate positive light to the learners to make the world a better one. This battle must be considered since the proliferation of the wrongdoers seem to be the trend these days.

We must understand that we could never square a circle.

New

People are vowing to become better versions of themselves. Their resolutions are glaringly reflected on their social media insights and shout outs.

Basically, the new year is just another date. Although it stands for the entry to another calendar year, it is just another day. But it is innately human to attach emotions to dates and even things to make them significant. Some would even go beyond the expected emotions they resort to depression and even violence since such days awaken experiences which trigger deep-seated or suppressed feelings.

The frenzy of buying food and new clothes could be attributed to the media hype and the marketing strategies of the products and commercial establishments. The young ones would be bombarded by material things the adults are also craving to the point that the spiritual aspect of the celebration (Christmas is a religious activity) is being placed on the sidelights. And such media influences continue to become larger as the internet came. It seems that a family would be left out if they could not post sumptuous and festive gatherings on social media sites.

Then, there is this trend of having resolutions when the first day of the year takes place. There’s nothing wrong about it since planning to become a better person is a positive act. But the question is why wait for the new year to become a better one? Isn’t it reasonable to bounce back during the time when one fell? Still, it is good to have such mindset but plans and promises must be paired with tangible actions to realize the changes to become a better individual.

It all goes back to introspection. There is a need for each of us to look deeper in our selves and identify our own strengths and the aspects that we would like to improve. There is also a great need to focus on the inner self than look at the other persons since there is nothing one could do to change others.

Yet, people tend to be on the surface of things. Going deeper entails maturity and intellectual efforts to become more humble and more reflective. These attributes are difficult to attain since it could not just be done by a flick of the fingers. Instead, it requires the individual to constantly monitor his/her feelings and thoughts to create better plans and change the skewed parts of his/her life.

So what is there to do with the coming in of the new days of the year? We need to move forward remembering the instances when we fail and prove that we can become better ones not committing the same mistakes. We could build relationships. Ultimately, this is one of the basic roles of individuals who belong to a society. Our families must be on the understanding state despite our differences. The romantic bonds could also be strengthened by not being selfish but with self-understanding persons who understand the partners as well. The bigger communities will be strengthened when the smaller ones are being worked out by every member.

Here is hoping that the next 365 days will be filled with pervasive understanding which results to harmony which will eventually make us united even with differences on beliefs, religious convictions, race, skin color, sexual preferences and social status.

Let us make the NEW adjective be our guidepost to replenish the energy to serve as well.