Manggamit nan tawo tungod sa ambisyon. Fame and power are greatest motivators. There are those who hunger for them that they need to do anything to satisfy the need. Yes, even at the expense of “using” others. There are those who silently plot their moves and there are some who act “cool” as if they are doing nothing at all.
People with power, position, talent and fame are prone to be the target of these individuals. They project themselves towards the personalities and traits of the people they look up to and try to become like them. There is nothing wrong with that. But when manipulations, lying, patronizing and identity-snatching happen, these can become serious matter.
Have you ever met people who
use you for their own selfish gain? People who call you and pretend to be nice
to you and then disappear when you need them? If you have, you’ve probably met
people who don’t understand that relationships (like friendship) are a two-way
street and that they require an equal investment from both parties.
Covert-Aggressive Personalities are the archetypal wolves in sheep’s clothing who are not openly aggressive in their interpersonal style. In fact, they do their best to keep their aggressive intentions and behaviors carefully masked. They can often appear quite charming and amiable, but underneath their civil facade they are just as ruthless as any other aggressive personality (Simon, 2010).
These persons intentionally want to hurt (or dump) you in a silent manner. The covert-aggressive conceals aggressive intent to ensure you never really see what’s coming; and he or she exploits your normal sensitivities, conscientiousness and other vulnerabilities to manipulate you into succumbing.
But since the field we want to dwell in this discourse is for those who hunger on fame and power; it is believed that the desire for fame has its roots in the experience of neglect, in injury. No one would want to be famous who hadn’t also, somewhere in the past, been made to feel extremely insignificant. People sense the need for a great deal of admiring attention when they have been painfully exposed to earlier deprivation. The same case is with those who thirst for power. A great possibility is that these individuals were exposed to some kind of oppression at an early age.
Seltzer (2019) asked, what is it about certain people that makes them so exclusively devoted to achieving power, not for its own sake (as many authors have suggested), but to abusively gain control over others? For although it’s a universal human need to influence others, the craving to "lord it over them"—to manipulate, exploit, and victimize them—far transcends what’s typically appreciated as normal.
The author continued: Because such individuals are seriously lacking in empathy, they’re unable to identify emotionally with those they use—whether financially, physically, sexually, mentally, or emotionally. Others are viewed solely as a means toward reaching a brutally self-interested end. And with such mean-spirited motivation, they cannot but dehumanize others, regarding and treating them as objects over which to gain extreme advantage.
People with an overriding desire to be widely known to strangers are different from those who primarily covet wealth and influence. Their fame-seeking behavior appears rooted in a desire for social acceptance, a longing for the existential reassurance promised by wide renown.
The urge to achieve social distinction is evident worldwide, even among people for whom prominence is neither accessible nor desirable. This is when the need to “use” others is the only option. The thirst will allow the perpetrator to create a façade of being good and amiable when s/he “connects” to those who have the fame, power and even the talents s/he can use to feed the hunger.
When the perpetrator feels that you can give no more, another prey is going to be hunted.
Disturbed characters carry opportunism to the extreme by exploiting others and situations to the detriment of all involved except themselves. Individuals with deficient characters also tend to focus on opportunities for self-advancement or personal gain without also thinking about how seizing the chance to get something they want might impact others. This is the nature of opportunistic thinking (Simon,2009).
One can notice “these types” when they constantly change their circle of friends.
Now, taking advantage of ripe opportunities is neither bad nor unhealthy in and of itself. But disturbed characters carry opportunism to the extreme by exploiting others and situations to the detriment of all involved except themselves. So, when a situation presents itself, no matter the potential cost — if they see a chance for personal gain, disordered characters will try to capitalize on the opportunity.
There are indeed things that we need to dig deeper. Even the motivations of the self must be evaluated to be a contributor to societal growth rather than its destruction. Relationships are foundations of a society. Our interactions with others must be dealt with care and understanding that such create ripple effects.
We can be with people who inspire us. But it is not healthy to “use” and manipulate them for our own benefit.
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