Tanan dapat sentro sa AKO! There are indeed persons, aware or not, who want everything to gravitate to them. These types seem to think that the world revolves around them that they are constantly having conflicts with others especially if they feel that their “identity” is threatened. They are so sensitive to the things happening around especially if these things won’t benefit their needs to feed their insecurities.
Selfishness is defined as the tendency to prioritize one’s own desires and needs above the needs and desires of other people.
Since these persons have vicious cycles of considering themselves and eradicating others, one might ask: what made them? Is it the environment the individual was raised? Was it caused by the parenting styles? Or is because of the deficits the individual encountered in childhood…
Some mental health problems can contribute to the development of selfishness. Many personality disorders, particularly antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, cause people to be so wrapped up in their own desires that they either do not notice or do not care about the needs of others. Many other mental illnesses can cause extreme self-involvement, which can contribute to selfishness. A depressed person, for example, might be so wrapped up in his or her own feelings of suffering that he/she is unable to provide for his/his children or communicate with his/her partner (goodtheraphy.org).
This must be true since the narcissist can never imagine that a person is better than himself.
Another reason why people dwell on it according to Parvez (2014) is that they have a fear of losing control. If someone has many needs and goals, then they overvalue their resources because they think that these resources are going to help them reach their goals. If they lose these resources, they lose their goals and if they lose their goals they feel they have lost control over their life.
Several constructs in the psychological literature appear to capture selfish motivation. For example, narcissistic personality characteristics, particularly entitlement (Campbell et al. 2004) and exploitativeness (Brunell et al. 2013), reflect selfish motivation. Dispositional greed (Seuntjens et al. 2015), materialism (Kasser et al. 2014), and aspiring for fame and fortune (Kasser & Ryan 1996) generally reflect selfish tendencies, although people can aspire to be wealthy or famous, or loved and community-oriented, for either selfish or otherish reasons (Carver & Baird 1998).
There is nothing wrong with taking care of the self and nurturing one’s needs first. One cannot pour out of an empty cup. But to constantly gravitate towards the self and forgetting the well-being of others are socially destructive. The sense of community must be implored to expand the greater good.
Human social life is interdependent, and human thriving depends critically on creating, maintaining, and strengthening social bonds. Selfish motivation can break mutually supportive connections with others, whereas motivation centered on helping/giving builds mutually supportive connections with others.
Selfish motivation is clearly related to poor psychological well-being, physical health, and relationships. For example, materialism is associated with lower psychological well-being both cross-sectionally and over time (Kasser et al. 2014).
With multiple literature pointing selfishness as a by-product of mental illness, it is really important to advocate the stringent stands on mental health these days.
"Emotional intelligence exists on a spectrum, and some individuals are higher in emotional intelligence than others," says Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, a Colorado-based marriage counselor, therapist, and life coach. "One symptom of low emotional intelligence is the tendency to be self-absorbed, or exclusively concerned about what you're thinking, feeling, needing and wanting, instead of the thoughts, feelings, needs and desires of others."
So aside from being mentally-ill, selfishness stems from low EQ as well. And since these things are so difficult to confront for the “enemy” seems vague and incomprehensible to the layman, it is then important to master self-control. Mental illnesses can be dealt with psychiatrists and medical practitioners but EQ is now the responsibility of the adult. One cannot blame the parents for their inadequacies and adults must take responsibility on their well-being.
Yet, the concept of being selfish can oftentimes be the blind side of the person. Some won’t even accept this as part of their being. So, those who will be improved are those who listens to feedback and those who performs introspection.
In everyday use, introspection is a way of looking inward and examining one's internal thoughts and feelings. By doing so, individuals can now look inwards and function what benefits the majority outwards.
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