Basta kay naghimo kaw nan eksakto! We sometimes do things for the affirmation
that we long for. We cannot deny the fact that it is a human need to be
affirmed. There are also those who thirst for recognition. It was mentioned
time and again about the hierarchy of needs theorized by Maslow that recognition
is a human need. But to wallow on such need is a different story.
Some intriguing research
conducted by Dan Ariely and his colleagues (Emir Kamenica and Drazen Prelec)
highlights how powerful and important a simple gesture of acknowledgement can
be in terms of our level of engagement and perseverance. They orchestrated a
study to examine our willingness to work on a task, depending on the extent to
which it was recognized by another party. Despite the repetitive, and some
might say boring, nature of the task, the impact of acknowledgement on the
motivation of the participants was profound.
We all need to be recognized.
It’s not a matter of pride, selfishness, or immaturity. Human beings, from the
earliest moments in their lives, absolutely need respect and affection from
everyone around them, which is where we implicitly find that sincere
recognition towards us as people (exploringyourmind.com).
But what about those who
constantly look for recognition that it would be the main motive of the individual
in performing the tasks? What about those who will feel bad when a regular task
is NOT recognized?
The Mayo Clinic mentions that narcissistic
personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a
mental condition in which people have inflated senses of their own importance,
a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and
a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a
fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
A narcissistic personality
disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work,
school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may
be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors
or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships
unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.
We cannot blame people having
this since it is considered as a mental disorder. In fact there are treatments
like psychotherapy and others. But to be aware of the ailment is an individual
responsibility. One has to acknowledge the disorder so that ways and means can
be found to have a better life and good relationship with others.
Self-esteem refers to the
positive (high self-esteem) or negative (low self-esteem) feelings that we have
about ourselves. We experience the positive feelings of high self-esteem when
we believe that we are good and worthy and that others view us positively. We
experience the negative feelings of low self-esteem when we believe that we are
inadequate and less worthy than others.
Our self-esteem is determined by
many factors, including how well we view our own performance and appearance,
and how satisfied we are with our relationships with other people (Tafarodi
& Swann, 1995).
We have to boost our self-esteem
by doing what we think is right; what we consider as meaningful. The rewards
and recognition must come from the fulfillment that we feel inside us. Others
may see us differently but as long as we understand what we are doing, we
cannot wait for their affirmation to continue doing well.
Life is short to be bitter. Let
us lift ourselves and encourage others to do the same. In the end, the plaques,
certificates, trophies and the entire accolade will become distant memory or be
forgotten once we are not here anymore.
Live well…even if no one notices
you.
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