The Unleashing of Marites

 

Mare, umay latest? Thus, the birth of Marites. Gossip was there since time immemorial. Asking for information is a need to survive, to be prepared and to make mindsets. But when information is dug for a malicious intent like gloating on one’s misfortunes can be unhealthy. It will oftentimes segue to something evil.

A 1993 observational study found that male participants spent 55% of conversation time and female participants spent 67% conversation time on “the discussion of socially relevant topics.” Thus, this writer cannot be accused of being sexist since the “Karen” phenomenon also happened in the US. Marites can be the Philippine version of those difficult women who can be profiled as envious and have poor security issues like that of the Caucasian Karen who is racist and entitled.

Marion Underwood (2003) has found that for children, being victimized by social aggression (including gossip) is associated with poor self-concept, especially for girls. Other studies show that victimization is associated with loneliness, depression and anxiety.

With the introduction of social media to our lives, peering to others’ lives is accessible. Those with poor self-concept will have escalations of insecurities when they see their friends’ pictures enjoying their moments. This was carefully studied which later become the theorized FOMO (fear of missing out). To bounce back, the insecurities will allow the person to find faults on others. This is the defense mechanism by making others “smaller” than them. Gossiping, making fun and criticizing the work of others become the meals for survival of the skewed.

"Generally, it's a form of diversion. Instead of facing pressing personal matters in their personal lives that they need to focus, they'd rather concern themselves with the lives of others, which they somehow feel like they're entitled to have an opinion about," Joseph Marquez, a clinical psychologist told Ara Eugenio in her article Marites Nation (2021).

Still, these people must be aware about their contribution to the circle that they belong. Are they agents of cohesion or destruction? Indeed, the thrust to reflect and focus on personal issues and improvement should be prioritized rather than find faults and failures of others. Those who aim for SELF-ACTUALIZATION need to concentrate on the improvement of the self than finding faults and gloat on others’ mistakes.

If Marites persists, we can also play the game, right? Pwede man sab nato sila gisahon sa ila kaugalingon na mantika, amo? Let us find their feared/denied flaws. Instead of gossiping about it, we can tell their inadequacies in front of them.

Being frank is not gossip!