Dapat ganahan sila sa imo,
smile pirme! Yes, it is true that people must be
pleased with the services that you have to give especially if you are a
government employee, but isn’t it too much to please them for the sake of being
“accepted”?
Psychology
Today reported that the people-pleaser needs to please others for reasons that
may include fear of rejection, insecurities, the need to be well-liked. If the
person stops pleasing others, the mindset seems to lead to abandonment and
being uncared for.
The
tendency to please is related to Dependent Personality Disorder. While the
people-pleaser may not need others to do things for them, they do have a need
for others, regardless.
What
causes it? What is the psychology behind people-pleasing?
People
pleasing behaviors evolve as a way to maintain connection and closeness with
parents who are inconsistently available to their children. A lack of parental attunement is a big part
of what causes people pleasing.
Difficult
or traumatic past experiences, such as abuse, can lead people to become more
agreeable in order to feel safe and secure. They may believe that pleasing
others will stop any abusive behaviors from being triggered (Hayes, 2022).
People-pleasers
can often exhibit perfectionist traits which lead to a need for control over
how other people think and feel.
The
urge to please others can be damaging to ourselves and, potentially, to our
relationships when we allow other people’s wants to have more importance than
our own needs, explains Erika Myers, a therapist in Bend, Oregon.
So,
why “smile” if you are busy doing something for the common good? Just to please
others?
Yes,
being kind and sociable are values we need to attain. But to constantly please
people for the sake of deep-set insecurities is another issue to be reflected
on.