So What If I'm Different?

 

Dapat ganahan sila sa imo, smile pirme! Yes, it is true that people must be pleased with the services that you have to give especially if you are a government employee, but isn’t it too much to please them for the sake of being “accepted”?

Psychology Today reported that the people-pleaser needs to please others for reasons that may include fear of rejection, insecurities, the need to be well-liked. If the person stops pleasing others, the mindset seems to lead to abandonment and being uncared for.

The tendency to please is related to Dependent Personality Disorder. While the people-pleaser may not need others to do things for them, they do have a need for others, regardless.

What causes it? What is the psychology behind people-pleasing?

People pleasing behaviors evolve as a way to maintain connection and closeness with parents who are inconsistently available to their children.  A lack of parental attunement is a big part of what causes people pleasing.

Difficult or traumatic past experiences, such as abuse, can lead people to become more agreeable in order to feel safe and secure. They may believe that pleasing others will stop any abusive behaviors from being triggered (Hayes, 2022).

People-pleasers can often exhibit perfectionist traits which lead to a need for control over how other people think and feel.

The urge to please others can be damaging to ourselves and, potentially, to our relationships when we allow other people’s wants to have more importance than our own needs, explains Erika Myers, a therapist in Bend, Oregon.

So, why “smile” if you are busy doing something for the common good? Just to please others?

Yes, being kind and sociable are values we need to attain. But to constantly please people for the sake of deep-set insecurities is another issue to be reflected on.