Label

                  (photo: azquotes.com)

When is the time when one could claim that he/she is intelligent? You see, there are those whom we know whose confidence are oozing out of their cheap clothes that we wonder if this is still realistic. There is nothing wrong with confidence. In fact, it is the key to success. But having an overdose of it is disorienting if not offensive.

I was listening to someone belittle a person for being a simpleton. The culprit underscored someone’s inability to present ideas coherently in straight English. She continued to rant overly pronouncing the words to emphasize her point. A whirlwind of questions occurred inside my head as the woman consistently used the word STUPID to describe the person.

One thing which registered in me was this mystery: A person is already stupid when he could not speak well in English? What if he can compute mathematical problems using formulas that he designs himself and the “intelligent” woman can’t? Who is now the person to be labeled STUPID? Did the critic came across Howard Gardner’s theory on Multiple Intelligence?

But then, on a deeper thought, I realized that her ability to speak and pronounce good English are her crutches: the source of her confidence. But this could be dangerous to be the main source since the world is now full of dynamic information and the utilization of such knowledge and skills allow one to push himself towards becoming a transcendent individual. Take for example: What if she is going to encounter a discourse on Astrophysics and a 0.0001 m/s2 acceleration of a small object in space is being computed for its weight? Would her correct pronunciation of P’s and F’s matter? Will her prose count or her ability to contribute ideas to the discussion?

Labeling people is not a good practice. It dehumanizes others to the point that "superior" beings are being juxtaposed to "lesser" beings. According to Psychology Today: Labeling isn't always a cause for concern, and it's often very useful. It would be impossible to catalogue the information we process during our lives without the aid of labels like "friendly," "deceitful," "tasty," and "harmful." But it's important to recognize that the people we label as "black," "white," "rich," poor," smart," and "simple," seem blacker, whiter, richer, poorer, smarter, and simpler merely because we've labeled them so.

I’m in the public school system and I understand the footage of my learners. They have diverse backgrounds and the demographics allow a social scientist to understand their foundations. These learners must be given differentiated instructions for them to grasp and master the competencies needed for them to function well. Labeling them to be slow learners are so 20^th century. The dynamics of learning has expanded the platforms of mental development. Take for example the theory of constructivism: utilizing prior knowledge and learning by doing are better than an hour of lecture in the classroom. Incidentally, the aforementioned critic heralds herself as an orator to the point that she monopolizes classroom talk resulting to zombie-like learners from her gibberish.

There are still a lot of things that could be considered as sources of our confidence. Being humane is one. When one could connect to his humanity by understanding that he is part of the bigger whole, it could be a good crutch.

In the end, your properly-pronounced words do not matter. What matters most is your ability to care and your affection to those who need it. Empathy is a difficult value to attain since it entails going out of the self and considering others. 

Life is harsh and people became hardened with their experiences. But our intellectual will to become good allows us to become more than just another cruel animal in this jungle we call as EXISTENCE.

Toxic

                (photo: dailymail.com)

This person could be toxic. He takes away the rainbows once you are with him and allows the dark clouds to loom over you. He tries to inject negative energy to your day to the point that you are bombarded with complaints and the bad side of life. When you are with this person, it seems that you always encounter a road accident and you are compelled to slow down and see the mess.

You are sure that others also experience this thing. They encounter people who take away their happiness. There are those who are also called emotional vampires that they suck all your energy away by just being with them. They constantly hound you with their emotional hang-ups and once it’s your turn to pour out pent-up feelings, they simply do not care. There are even those who perform emotional blackmails just for you to stick with them.

One of the things you notice with those who have romantic relationships is their ability to destroy each other. There are those who could be very self-centered to the point that only his/her side is being considered. There are girlfriends who are so possessive that they forbid their boyfriends to even be with the boys' friends. There are also boyfriends who are so full of insecurity to the point that even the simple putting on of lipstick by the girl is prohibited. Once the self-imposed rules are broken, a series of emotional turbulence will be experienced. Sometimes these result to mud-slinging and worse, words like: you are not who you are without me! will be uttered.

What is then is the purpose of having a partner? Isn’t it to nurture each other? It has been a wrong notion to find an inspiration but be the inspiration! Yet the unmet needs of a person oftentimes rear its ugly head and be the cause of unease and emotional chaos. There are those who even post their harsh words on social media sites and inflict pain and shame to both of the parties. A dark intention of destroying the other would then surface... One main reason why relationships break is selfishness.

You have decided not be tainted with the toxins of these people. You don’t have prejudice on people but you could choose whom to be with. In your hands lie the power of your being and becoming. So, why stick to people who are already made and won’t allow feedback on their lives? This, often, could be considered as self-righteousness but you always believe in evaluated experiences and a decision must be done after evaluating the experience with someone. Transcendence won’t happen if your companions are constantly pulling you down.

Most of the self-mastered people do not have a lot of friends. They understand people but they won’t allow others to lead them since they know where they are going. They do not demand time and won’t allow others to patronize them since they understand their strengths and are working on their weaknesses. These persons have emotional intelligence that they are the ones who are nice to be with. They inspire and they are full of appreciation since most of them see life as a gift.

It has been a long-time discourse on the importance of Emotional Intelligence over Intelligence Quotient and skills acquisition. There is even a study focusing on Resilience Quotient since the world is now full of stressful events and in-between interference. These things are necessary steps in personal growth and even in the so-called relationship goals.

No matter what the facts and statistics are saying, you still have to stick to what you believe. You won’t allow others to take away your peace. The people around you are constants and in mathematical equations, there is always a variable where one could control. And in your case, that is YOU. 

In the end, what matters most is how you live your life. Be it meaningful to others or not, your own definition of what’s meaningful dictates your own happiness.

“ And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,

Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;

There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,

And evening full of the linnet’s wings…”

- William Butler Yeats (The Lake Isle of Innisfree)

Curtailed

(photo: abs-cbn.com)

We have committed the Golden Rule to memory: Let us now commit it to life.

- Edwin Markham

I have a student named Kian. He frequents the office for he belongs to this group under the office of the principal who creates campaigns on the programs and thrusts of the school. Together with his companions, they do photo shoots, tarpaulin designs and talk about pop culture to be used in mainstreaming the school events.

Kian is 16. He plays basketball and he spend time playing online games as well. He has big dreams to be a person who will help his family experience good things in the future… What if he was the Kian who was shot dead for allegedly “running” drugs?

One of the teachers in the Senior High School filed a leave of absence due to a death in her family. I dislike to shortchange the students that I opted to handle the subjects for a week.  When I looked at her teaching load, I realized that the subjects are within my area of control. There is Physics, Earth Science, Organization and Management and English for Academic and Professional Purposes. The Physics thing was easy since I taught the subject for fifteen years and Earth Science was majored by me in college. OM is my cup of tea since my post-graduate schooling is all about Management. I taught practical aspects in dealing with the subjects by integrating tools and mechanisms for learning to take place.

English is another story. The competency I was underscoring was to create opinions based on facts. The boys taking up Electrical Installation and Maintenance groped for words that their thoughts were hampered. So I decided to use a matrix of ideas using the mother tongue and mentored them on how to convert the ideas into English when they are going to write the opinions already.

The springboard idea for formulating opinions was: Why Kian?

I was focused on the technical stuff that I was taken aback when I heard the opinions later. Most of them aired out their sentiments on the value of life and the effect of the boy’s death to his family. I told them about the allegations about him being a drug pusher and runner yet there was one who said: Is it enough to kill a young person?

One learner said about the disparity of the rich and the poor. According to him: Why must the poor ones be the persons hunted by the police and not the rich kids? I followed-up the statement by asking what kind of society do we have when the rich seem to be always right?

Contrary to my belief that majority of my learners are not into creating stands; that they are mostly concerned about their emotions, I was proven wrong. This is probably because of their access to information and different media sources…

A deep reflection then arrested me: How could their opinions and ideas be translated into action? It is so numbing to feel that majority of the people in our communities are feeding into indifference…

The news is full of stories about Kian and how his parents raised their voices so that justice is going to be served. There are high-profile politicians airing their support to the plight of the family and his friends. The president himself said that he will not condone to the police if proven foul. Social media sites are also full of differing sides that there were instances that taking sides seem to be their point.

The main point here is TRUTH and JUSTICE. This is not blaming the president or the political leaders who are waging war against drugs. This is all about our humanity being put at stake. The value of life must be considered for the policemen also have family members as well. What if it was the other way around?

I will continue to raise awareness to the learners on societal problems since I still have around two days left. When I do a summative assessment, I will require a portfolio of ideas, slogans and journal entries for them to realize that learning is always geared towards living a good life.

When I reached my office, Kian was there waiting for me. There was something that he’d like to know. I did not hear him well. Instead, I asked him: What if it was you, Kian?

Mispronounced

(photo: quickanddirtytips.com)

Do not fear mistakes - fear only the absence of creative, constructive, and corrective responses to those mistakes.

- Rolfe Kerr

One of the things that really strikes me when I observe others is their ability to pick up the mistakes of people. Take for example: the way persons mispronounce words. During programs, you see them smile and whisper their critiques when the speaker miss the correct pronunciation of words. Of course, there are instances when the thought of the sentences becomes different when a word is mispronounced. But what about considering the courage of the speaker to talk in public? What about seeing the whole and not just the part of the speech? Pronunciation is a part of the communication process but if the message is delivered, isn’t it a minute thing to consider?

I also notice that these people who criticize a lot on pronunciation are so obsessed with the pronunciation per se and not the meat of the speech. Most of them could not talk straight because they are constantly being careful on how to enunciate the words. They are always editing their words that the thought of their sentences are affected. We hear them talk good when they have a prepared speeches which they rehearsed for hours but we could not get anything from them when they do spontaneous talking.

There was a time when I was listening to somebody lambasting a speaker for not being able to pronounce the words of his speech. I was lost on the ranting since I tried to remember the history of the critic’s public speaking engagements. Reality came that it was nil. So, what’s the credibility of the critique when one does not even has the clue what it is to be on the stage? You see, a book critic could never be called one unless he/she was able to devour tons of books of multiple genre.

Of course it takes a lot of skill to talk in public. Yet, there are people in the government service or even in the academe who are required to speak on certain occasions. Could you expect them to spend 10,000 hours of rehearsing for the speech to be perfect? Then, these critics would insist that such people need to improve their speaking skills…what for? If they are managers, why not concentrate on managerial skills? If they are school heads, why not put up a lot of energy on the teaching-learning process?

The point is: Not all can become very eloquent speakers. Leave this to those facilitators and whose careers are on public speaking. A speech is not just a set of properly-pronounced words. It entails getting the soul of the message rather than being distracted by an f mistaken as p.

Writing is similar: it is a means of communicating. But look at what 98% of the people are doing in social media. They are abbreviating words; they are using codes and misspelled stuff yet they are able to understand each other. Of course, it is not a good sign for us who are obsessed with the written word. Yet, only a few are complaining since they are able to come across.

There are even those who are very critical with pronunciation who could not write well. Their syntax is that of a high school student. Yet, the way they project themselves are that of demigods in the spoken word. There are those who constantly update their status and we cringe on their grammar. There are those who write to impress and not to express… Yet we keep our silence.

What if we consider our “superiority” over you and create a WORD WAR?

Can one picture what will happen to the world when we linger on petty things like this? Yet, the way we live our lives is that of a horror film? I’d rather pick a person who could not pronounce words properly than those who can but the stains on their humanity could not be erased by a BACKSPACE.

Inferiority

                                         (photo: istockphoto.com)

According to Psychology Today, the top three common reasons why people are into criticism are: 1. They have a strong unmet need that is not being satisfied; 2. They have a controlling personality and have to be in charge; and 3. They feel entitled to special treatment or status and do not feel they are receiving it.

When the chance to become a module writer for Values Education happened, you realized the importance of reflective thinking. This entails a lot of deeper analyses on the things going on inside you taking out emotions and allowing things to sink in before going into evaluated actions. This fact was profoundly discussed in the infamous book of Stephen Covey: Seven Habits of Highly Effective People where the author underscored the importance of being reflective than reactive.

You see, it is in reflections when you understand better why you react on stimuli. These reactions often define your values and the needs you have in you. Also, most of the needs anchored on such reactions are your blind spots. It is in constant prodding and self-evaluation when one reach the point of self-awareness too.

Postivepsychologyprogram.com says that Self-awareness is the key cornerstone to emotional intelligence, according to Daniel Goleman. The ability to monitor our emotions and thoughts from moment to moment is key to understanding ourselves better, being at peace with who we are and proactively managing our thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

In addition, self-aware people tend to act consciously rather than react passively, to be in good psychological health and to have positive outlook on life. They also have greater depth of life experience and are more likely to be more compassionate to themselves and others.

Recently, you heard about people complaining a lot. You understand the importance of feedback but if these complaints come from the same people, you often proceed to a deeper analysis on their personalities and behaviors. It has been clearly defined that complaining is the antithesis of appreciation. People most likely complain since they do not appreciate the things presented to them based on the aforementioned facts. Most likely, their unmet needs would be the source.

One springboard from such analysis is SOCIAL STATUS. There are really persons who thrive on the feeling that they must be recognized in the community where they belong. This could be normal yet when constant efforts would be done and actions are on the askew side, one would then wonder what emotional motivations do they have. If the name has already a loud ring on it, why continue to bang the gong even during uncalled-for times? 

The intellectuals would then start their own buzz in gatherings. You heard about how such actions are being laughed at within the circles. Their words could be harsh especially when they look for the reasons of such actions and consider inferiority as the culprit. The laughter would intensify when such behaviors and manifestations are posted on social media. This would then allow you to think that the feeling superiority over others are oftentimes the main factor how others see the real you: Someone inferior to them.

Still, we could not help these from happening. We play different roles and we sometimes are being victimized by our own needs and motivations. Yet, self-mastery is an integral part of our being and becoming. We went to school and gathered the necessary knowledge, skills and attitudes to be more functional in the society.

One specific example: Staging and managing a show. One could not do it unless management skills and aesthetic gifts are acquired. Yet there are lapses to come along the way. The manager exhausts all his/her resources to make the event a better one even if the actions are gratis in nature. Then, the imperfections would be noticed by the critics who do not even have an idea how to manage themselves manifested by their dysfunctional lives. The complaining overshadow the much-needed appreciation. This is when fault-finding occurs on both sides of the fence. Peace will then become an elusive thing to exist between people.

Human nature entails self-preservation. If both sides won't go to a deeper understanding of themselves and the reasons behind such outbursts, then an ugly cycle of negative patterns would be created.

Self-resolution: You won't allow others to take away your peace. You would let them be. They might as well be stewed by their own bitter juices. You continue to be of help to others by sharing what you have... including the displacement of appreciation others greatly deserve despite their weaknesses.

Devolution

People, people who need people,

Are the luckiest people in the world.

-Barbra Streisand (J. Styne, B. Merrill)

“Those who have less in life must have more from the government,” so screams the slogan of a local politician. The words ring true to the ears but were they being translated into actions?

Jose lives in a squatted land with his parents whose only pleasure they can afford is their marital copulation. They are eight in the family and the food on their table is not enough for the hungry stomachs. Jose is one of those boys shooed by the chairman’s aide as the banquet sponsored by the local government progressed in line with the barangay's charter day. The guests with bloated stomachs were the ones ushered by the so-called civil-servants to be fed by government’s money.

Harriet is the governor’s daughter. She needed to clear her closet. She had to give them to the less-fortunate. To make it a win-win situation, the local media must document the event so that her family would really become known as a generous brood. Of course, she does not care for the ill-clad girls who will come to the event. They are just human props for the family’s benefit.

The town is celebrating its patronal feast; there are big stars who will come to grace the occasion. But the areas where the stars could be strategically-seen are exclusive for the VIP. The uninvited ones would opt to be in the places near the steel bars that separate them from the invited people. They might as well be called VUP: very unimportant persons.

When a position is being opened in a government office, the padrino system is still alive and kicking. Who would get the position? Of course the one with a recommendation from the higher echelon…There are heads of offices who will even utter out loud that charity begins at home.

These are realities. We could not close our eyes or turn a deaf ear on the moaning of the poor. Yet, there are qualified reasons why the aforementioned facts happen. But aren’t we capable of transcendence?

Human existence is evolving. The individual must not hamper his own growth of transcending the old self to become a better one. There are those who are still trapped with selfish motivations due to immature self-perceptions. There are those who could not journey to another person since the inner person is yet to be understood. Still, these are facts. We could not compel all people to confront their own monsters and tell them to be a contributor of cosmic positivity since it is impossible.

Yet we could dwell on reason. We understand what is right and not. We could perform dichotomy between fair and unfair. We could grasp equality and we understand the basic values since they were taught in grade school.

But then how could we? Life is full of affective factors which direct our actions and mindset. In real life, there are teachers who manifest twisted values to the point that their ripples are cascaded to the young minds. The young are thinking that what their teachers are doing must be ideal and worth emulating.

There are adults who make the poor and the weak as their prey. They are looking at them as their production design to make their lives more interesting and visually-stimulating...

Might as well make oneself a better person by looking at all human beings as worthy of the attention and affection in the world. Life will be meaningful with that in mind.

Life on queue

                    (photo: abs-cbn.com)

“You could not eat or drink something once you are inside Studio 8,” the marshal announced and the people seemed to ignore the fact that some of their basic rights and needs are going to be deprived as the studio’s doors open. The movements of the people seemed to intensify as the time to get inside was nearing. Some fixed their hair while others checked their outfits. The tarpaulin with the pictures of their idols came out from their tote bags and some donned accessories with the names of the movie stars they adore were printed.

You feigned a nonchalant expression but a whole new world is opened to you. The chance happened when an old friend tagged you along to the Grand Finals of The Voice Teens where a girl from their place was a finalist. Since you did not have anything to do for the day, you joined him.

The fans started their queue at 2:00 p.m. The show would go on live TV at 7:05. You computed the number of hours you will spend with just the queuing and the time inside the studio. You wished you brought with you a book that you could browse while the time snails to the director’s cue. Yet, you realized that the experience and the people around you are like books to be read.

When you got inside, you told the marshal that you need to eat in the canteen since you have a medical condition. Your blood sugar must not go down. Hypoglycemia is not interesting in show business. The guard seemed indifferent to the facts presented. Probably, he already experienced a worse kind of human being compared to your boring monotone. The rest of the pack stayed in the studio and started giggling with some wannabes hovering around the stage.

The floor director came and instructed the studio audience about the do’s and don’ts while the show goes live. He then arranged the better-looking and better-dressed attendees in the first row to be more “camera-friendly”. You then thought about marginalization of the aesthetically-deprived but no one seemed to mind.

Then, Toni Gonzaga came. An ear-splitting scream came out of the young girls beside you and you were pushed on the side as they rushed to the ask for some pictures taken. The series of screaming and flaunting continued as more stars came inside the studio…

Lea Salonga sat on a couch near you and you asked her about how she handles this chaos. She shrugged and told you that “it is how it is!”

The show commenced with the floor director telling the studio audience to raise the balloons and release more energy from the body movements to the intensity of the screams. An hour and some minutes doing that exhausted you. Yet, nary a trace of tiredness could be seen on the faces of the people around especially the young ones.

You thought that the activity would end after the last performance. But when you took your late dinner inside a fast-food chain, the coven was still there: The different teams donning the faces of the COACHES (Sarah, Bamboo, Lea and Sharon) printed on their shirts. They were on for the online voting.

By the time we went out of the store, the groupies were still stopped on their gadgets using their different accounts to vote for the stars their idols have mentored.

It was more like a religion. They adore their idols so much that they are willing to sacrifice their time, talents and treasures to "glorify" the stars. They bring flowers, make sure that the framed images of the stars are well-displayed and adorned in their rooms. Their faith is so strong they would fight for their beloved. They are holding to this crutch believing that when they will be touched and held by their idolized stars, they experience bliss; they are transported to an incandescent place...They will experience a miracle!

You pondered on this so hard your exhaustion escalated to the next level. When you crawled on the hotel bed, you directly went to oblivion.