Those With Superpowers

 

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Kun manulti amo da sab sin-o! Ever encounter these persons who seems to know everything? They often say things as if the world is designed ONLY for them. They do not understand that they are feigning a sense of entitlement because they want to do it their way. They cannot understand the concept of the COMMON GOOD since they only consider themselves. The scary thing is that they are all over including the public offices!

A sense of entitlement (Cuncic, 2021) is a personality characteristic based on the belief that someone deserves special treatment or recognition for something they didn't earn. In other words, people with this mindset believe that the world owes them without ever giving anything in return.

People with a sense of entitlement expect to get preferential treatment and special favors in life, without regard for why they should be treated specially. Their view is "the world owes me." For example, they might feel that the policies of an organization should not apply to them because they should be treated with special favors.

They act like victims and blame other people or outside forces for their problems.

While the person with a sense of entitlement may come across as arrogant or confident, this can be a cover-up for underlying insecurity or fear of not having enough admiration, resources, or support.

Entitled people have a tendency to adopt goals based around their own self-image, often leading them into conflict with others (Moeller, 2018). While they may be able to put up an exterior of being nice and well-mannered on the outside, research shows that it's all just for show; deep down inside this is not how they truly feel about themselves or other individuals around them.

Researchers from Case Western Reserve University found that entitled people are more likely to experience chronic disappointment, unmet expectations, and a self-reinforcing cycle of behavior which puts them at risk for harm psychologically or socially.

When people think of themselves as superior, anything that challenges their worldview is met with defensiveness and anger. This creates a vicious cycle: the more they are challenged by society's limitations, the angrier they become at these injustices (Cuncic, 2021).

The world deserves more peace. We can push them away from our ecology. If they are entitled believing that they are better, we are also entitled to live a peaceful life. Let them wallow on their inadequacies. We deserve better.

No Mistakes

 

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Mohanap nan lusot. Whitewashing a mistake is common. This might go back to self-preservation. But then again, we cannot square a circle. There are even instances that we believe on the lies that we say. And the ability to do moral judgment can then become a blur…

After making a mistake people tend to justify their decisions which lead to the mistake even if they know they did the wrong thing. People try to avoid or diminish the feeling of having done something wrong and try to justify their decisions instead of admitting their error.

Worse, there are those who consider that what they are doing is NOT a mistake after all. This is happening everywhere. There are those people who do not have the conscience to the point that they feel that all is well since they do not feel bad about it. One might wonder why there are serial killers and psychology points out that these people are psychopaths – they do not feel any guilt at all. They think that what they do is OK.

What then is confirmation bias? Confirmation Bias is the tendency to look for information that supports, rather than rejects, one’s preconceptions, typically by interpreting evidence to confirm existing beliefs while rejecting or ignoring any conflicting data (American Psychological Association).

This is when you will say that: everybody is doing it so it is alright for me to do such. There is nothing wrong of being late since the boss is always late as well. I will say I was present even if I was not… my friends are doing it so do I. I can lie, anyway it’s a white lie… and so on.

People are susceptible to confirmation bias to protect their self-esteem (to know that their beliefs are accurate). To make themselves feel confident, they tend to look for information that supports their existing beliefs (Casad, 2019).

They then mention legal bases and even literature supporting their preconceived beliefs even if glaring facts are being neglected.

It is then that we go back to the self. We need to revisit what is good and not. We can evaluate what drives us to embrace confirmation bias. What are we protecting for and why?

In the end, the truth will set us free.

I'm Not The Creep!

 

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Sobrahan da pagbelib sa kaugalingon. Self-confidence is the key to success. But too much of it is arrogance. There are those around who believe that they are better than everyone around them. They oftentimes see us as lesser beings. They do not understand respect because for them, they are the only ones MEANT to be respected.

Arrogance can be defined as the personality trait whereby a person has an obnoxiously elevated sense of self-worth. An arrogant person is the one who acts as if they’re superior, more worthy, and more important than others. Therefore, they tend to disrespect and put others down (Parvez, 2014).

There are times when we wonder about their psychological well-being. Why do they tend to hurt and disrespect others? Were they oppressed when they were still young? Is the arrogance a by-product of deprivation or trauma? Are they mentally-ill?

Cerdan (2019) posited that arrogance serves as a defense mechanism. It’s a way to protect people’s self-esteem and self-worth. It is a way to hide and compensate for insecurity, inferiority, lack of self-confidence. Arrogance helps people to reject others before they can reject them. It’s a way to prevent them from hurting the self. It is, therefore, more common to behave arrogantly towards strangers, out of fear of rejection.

Narcissism is the psychological term for arrogance and there are two types of narcissistic, vulnerable and grandiose. Vulnerable narcissism is the one who uses arrogance to compensate for his insecurity. Grandiose narcissism really believes to be as perfect as is shown.

Again, with the pressing concerns about mental health, people must be aware of their traits so to be able to adjust or heal and be in harmony with others. Like the dreaded cancer and AIDS, mental illnesses proliferate the society these days eating up its value system and producing chaotic and unhealthy relationships.

But denial is also another phase to be reflected on. People often justify their actions and look for reasons for them NOT to be the culprit. They find scapegoats and continue living their MAD world.

There are times when it is fair for us to say to them straight-facedly: YOU’RE SICK!

The Real Enemy

 

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Tanan tawo kontra! Mayaot sila tanan!. It is sometimes disorienting to hear people give comments and opinions about others on the negative. Yes, it is true that we all have some sort of imperfections but to look at others as “the enemy” is unhealthy. Ever meet these persons who have negative observations to others? We often wonder what are their orientations and childhood experiences.

"Your perceptions of others reveal so much about your own personality," says Dustin Wood, assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest and lead author of the study, about his findings. By asking study participants to each rate positive and negative characteristics of just three people, the researchers were able to find out important information about the rater's well-being, mental health, social attitudes and how they were judged by others.

The study also found that how positively you see other people shows how satisfied you are with your own life, and how much you are liked by others. On the other side, if you see the flaws of the people all the time, you are actually manifesting dissatisfaction of your life and how you are DISLIKED by others.

The research also suggests that the level of negativity the rater uses in describing the other person may indeed indicate that the other person has negative characteristics, but may also be a tip off that the rater is unhappy, disagreeable, neurotic -- or has other negative personality traits.

Neurotic.

With the worldwide concern about mental health, it is indeed worth pondering if we have these characteristics. You see, mental health is not just focused on depression as what many are seeing such. This writer believes that a robust self-understanding is needed to have better personal development which leads to better communities. With the denial of the person about what s/he is thinking, self-development won’t take place. The negative acts will create ripples of chaos in the small to the big communities.

There are times when we do NOT just keep quiet and understand them. There are times that we can tell them straight on their face HOW CRAZY they are. By doing so, they might have the realization and proceed to taking clinical steps for healing.

Life is supposed to be peaceful…not chaotic.

Better

 

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Samok na paglaong na magbag-o kaw. Himua nan hilom da. There something NOT right about new year’s resolutions. Most of them are purely forgotten on the third day of January. Chances are, you will be back with what you usually do. Change for the better is a decision, not just lip service.

Kaitlin Woolley from Cornell University and Ayelet Fishbach from the University of Chicago have just published some new research investigating New Year Resolutions, and found 55.2% of resolutions were health related (exercise: 31.3%, eat healthy: 10.4%, have healthier habits: 13.5%), 34.4% were work related (save: 20.8%, get out of debt: 12.5%, learn something: 0%, get organized: 1.0%), and 5.2% were social goals (spend time with family: 2.1%, help others: 0%, enjoy life: 3.1%).

But the research then found out that people are only limited to wishful thinking and cannot turn their promises into action. So, instead of saying them or posting them on social media, we can ponder on the importance of the things we like to change in us since these are needed for our well-being.

Do it. The people who consume a lot of substances that destroy the body cannot claim that they love themselves. They are probably trying to conceal something in them that they drown themselves with alcohol and satisfy the need to enjoy all the time. You see, there are things like “sacrifice” that we must do to have a better future. So, how can we say that we are capable of loving others when in fact we do not love ourselves?

Let us aim to become better. In the long run, we are here to serve others; to make good relationships. There are those who are so drunk with power they enjoy making others’ lives miserable. There are some who enjoy looking for others’ mistakes. Let them be. They are heading to something bad. We need to concentrate on what we can do to make a better world. We need to be better to contribute something good.

Let us face the new year with great expectations. We can deal with the challenges and we can rise above the difficulties. Like love, we can make ourselves become the answer.

Something for You

 

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Ajaw pagpahilabi panhatag, kahutdan kaw. Generosity is a good value. But to be generous to others, you need to be generous to yourself first. Like love, you cannot displace it once you do not know self-love.

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

But then why is it that some of us work to please someone else even if we are already dying inside? Is there a dearth of freedom due to the self-restrictions and the fear of being unwanted? That is why there is a need to open our eyes that we need NOT depend our happiness to others?

Why are you begging for someone else’s affection? Cohen (2017) said: You should never have to beg to get someone’s love, attention, or affection even, and for them to make you a priority. And you should never have to beg to get someone to love you, because someone that truly and utterly cares about you will treat you as a priority, and will make time for you, despite their busy schedules and whatnot.

It’s high time to respect yourself. Do not place yourself as a second priority. There is a need to control your emotions than allow them to let you be humiliated by allowing someone to control over you. Regain CONTROL over your happiness.

Enjoy your life. No matter how difficult the situation can be, breathe in happiness and peace. Extract yourself from unhappy relationships and worse, possessive ones. Be free and savor the short moments and make them well-spent.

Give yourself a break. Give yourself a gift. Love.

Board of Judges

 

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Kilaya kaw baja sa ako? Diin man ta magkaiban? You have an opinion about me? What is the basis of that? Are you employing the mindset of a scientific researcher when one must have an unbiased set of mindset towards my person?

What is your background? You see, there are instances when your upbringing might be the cause of your prejudice. You might be raised with a set of parents who are overly critical of your movements. When parents fail to affirm the young children, they will become adults with fragile security issues.

You see me as strict? Why? We do not have prior experiences together. You gauge your labels from people you do not know. You mean you do not trust your own observations and assessments? This is a manifestation of poor self-confidence! Use your own criteria. Embrace the common good not just your comfortable concepts of living.

The problem with prejudice is that it is rooted in ignorance. Ignorant persons ignore the facts. They directly create an opinion towards others without understanding the basic facts. Prejudice is a baseless and often negative preconception or attitude toward members of a group. Prejudice can have a strong influence on how people behave and interact with others, particularly with those who are different from them, even unconsciously or without the person realizing they are under the influence of their internalized prejudices.

Is it because I work harder than you? Or are you threatened by my silence and being different?

Cherry (2020) mentions that the common features of prejudice include negative feelings, stereotyped beliefs, and a tendency to discriminate against members of a group. In society, we often see prejudices toward a group based on race, sex, religion, culture, and more. While specific definitions of prejudice given by social scientists often differ, most agree that it involves prejudgments that are usually negative about individuals and members of a group.

So please, do not paint something bad against me. You do not know me. Check on yourself. Maybe you are the problem, not me.