Alma Mater

Give me time and give me space

Give me real, don't give me fake

                                              - Coldplay (Politik)

                                      (hefetcw.blogspot.com)

Senator Richard Gordon asked questions to the person tasked by his frat brothers to pick up Horacio's body from the hazing venue. The manner of questioning could be threatening and intimidating. The senator even asked the people who were called during the senate hearing about their educational backgrounds and the schools they come from. He underscored the credibility of the learning institutions and the prominent people who studied in them. There was even a time when this thought came to the mind: Will a school define a person?

For years of being an educational and instructional leader, a lot of times were spent by me in observing and giving technical assistance to the educators. The strengths of the teachers vary and their weaknesses as well. But these could be normal. There are individual differences and we could see the way these educators displace their competencies through their outputs: their learners.

Would it really count if one studies in an institution which produces prominent products? According to timeshighereducation.com: It has been very hard, so far, for universities to show that they actually touch so many people in their lives, by the things they can imagine, by the way that they teach, the way they help people to organize parts of the society.

Still, there is what we call as school culture that the learner could adapt. The times I spent my college days, I was so immersed to different communities and outreach programs due to the university's thrust to do extension services. I was also reading a lot since the subjects required us to do so. the library was so big I literally spent my vacant periods in there.

So, bits and pieces of knowledge, skills and attitudes from the alma mater are acculturated to the students in one way or the other. Even the way people dress is oftentimes a reflection of the discipline they acquire from their school. The manner they speak and the way they interact with others are also cascaded to the learner.

It has been said that it is good for parents to invest on the education of their children. But I could not just agree that by sending them to good schools allow them to become better persons. There are other factors to consider which hone the character of the individuals. Parenting and formative discipline at home still count as the key players in a child's well-being.

I'm a product of both public and private schools. When I was in high school, I learned to be resilient to the bullies and I became an independent learner since we did not have lots of books before. When I reached college, I became enriched with the arts and scientific and mathematical phenomena since I took up Engineering. I became a city dweller and a voracious reader.

Upon reflection, I still adhere to the belief that it is the person who will take upon his own journey. The travel is from the SELF to the SELF. All the things that he or she encounters are part of the honing process for the person to come a better one. Without intellectual will, all the needed competencies to become a functional and productive individual will not take place...

The school is the vast sea where the person's sails must be raised to venture, to discover... The rest will be his or her story.

Paddle

                          (photo: rappler.com)
Young people are dying. Their death confronts us nightly inside our living rooms via cable TV. There are those who were killed by the police and lately, through hazing. These kids are allegedly made wrong decisions in their early lives…But do they deserve to die the way they were brutally killed?

There was a time when I looked  at the one thousand and eight hundred learners doing their rehearsals for a field demonstration. I was enveloped by a religious fear that most of them would fail or become problems of the society. I looked at those truant ones who were stepping on the flowers stamping on them like their enemies. What would become of these little cretins? I sighed. But deep in me, I knew that they still have the chance to venture on cleaner grounds. Isn’t it our roles as teachers to guide them to better directions? Then, why would others decide to curtail the good possibilities which might happen to them?

Being exposed to Stephen King novels at an early age, I realized that adults have twisted beliefs and practices victimizing the young ones through their selfish intentions and unreasonable actions due to unmet needs. Children of the Corn was so terrifying that I spent a sleepless night thinking about those kids eliminating the adults since they are the “sinners”. Stand By Me and It have these themes as well although the former is focused on friendship and the latter is about childhood fear materializing induced by the adults’ neglect or abuse.

I was listening to someone insistently telling me that the blame must not be put on adults but to some extent, to the children as well. There are those children who could be mean. Yet, I often ask the question: Who molded them for who they are now?

Julia, a novel by Peter Straub, allowed me to think deeper of the so-called absolute evil. The author profoundly tells the story of a natural-born killer in the person of a kid who stabbed her dolls then rehearsing with small animals and eventually humans. The book is a modern-day classic of the horror genre and debates continue due to its theme. But are kids really capable of absolute evil or they are just the shells of a deeper evil?

One thing is for sure: the world is changing and we must cope with the parenting and nurturing skills that we have to make our children better individuals. We could not make a template for them to function well but we could try changing our mindsets on how to understand them. We continually have to reinvent the wheel since the roads that we are trekking are constantly changing as well.

These are difficult times. We are experiencing the ultimate times of uncertainty. Even politics are not predictable anymore. Human behavior is also evolving. Pop culture and emotional instability among the young is erratic. Even in fashion, the so-called “baduy” is the new beautiful. Leaders must be resilient and adaptable since unexpected stuff is in the offing. For who would have predicted Marawi and the planned strategies of the Armed Forces to have gone bonkers?

We continue living our lives with the hope that we are contributors to positive change, not the other way around.

Label

                  (photo: azquotes.com)

When is the time when one could claim that he/she is intelligent? You see, there are those whom we know whose confidence are oozing out of their cheap clothes that we wonder if this is still realistic. There is nothing wrong with confidence. In fact, it is the key to success. But having an overdose of it is disorienting if not offensive.

I was listening to someone belittle a person for being a simpleton. The culprit underscored someone’s inability to present ideas coherently in straight English. She continued to rant overly pronouncing the words to emphasize her point. A whirlwind of questions occurred inside my head as the woman consistently used the word STUPID to describe the person.

One thing which registered in me was this mystery: A person is already stupid when he could not speak well in English? What if he can compute mathematical problems using formulas that he designs himself and the “intelligent” woman can’t? Who is now the person to be labeled STUPID? Did the critic came across Howard Gardner’s theory on Multiple Intelligence?

But then, on a deeper thought, I realized that her ability to speak and pronounce good English are her crutches: the source of her confidence. But this could be dangerous to be the main source since the world is now full of dynamic information and the utilization of such knowledge and skills allow one to push himself towards becoming a transcendent individual. Take for example: What if she is going to encounter a discourse on Astrophysics and a 0.0001 m/s2 acceleration of a small object in space is being computed for its weight? Would her correct pronunciation of P’s and F’s matter? Will her prose count or her ability to contribute ideas to the discussion?

Labeling people is not a good practice. It dehumanizes others to the point that "superior" beings are being juxtaposed to "lesser" beings. According to Psychology Today: Labeling isn't always a cause for concern, and it's often very useful. It would be impossible to catalogue the information we process during our lives without the aid of labels like "friendly," "deceitful," "tasty," and "harmful." But it's important to recognize that the people we label as "black," "white," "rich," poor," smart," and "simple," seem blacker, whiter, richer, poorer, smarter, and simpler merely because we've labeled them so.

I’m in the public school system and I understand the footage of my learners. They have diverse backgrounds and the demographics allow a social scientist to understand their foundations. These learners must be given differentiated instructions for them to grasp and master the competencies needed for them to function well. Labeling them to be slow learners are so 20^th century. The dynamics of learning has expanded the platforms of mental development. Take for example the theory of constructivism: utilizing prior knowledge and learning by doing are better than an hour of lecture in the classroom. Incidentally, the aforementioned critic heralds herself as an orator to the point that she monopolizes classroom talk resulting to zombie-like learners from her gibberish.

There are still a lot of things that could be considered as sources of our confidence. Being humane is one. When one could connect to his humanity by understanding that he is part of the bigger whole, it could be a good crutch.

In the end, your properly-pronounced words do not matter. What matters most is your ability to care and your affection to those who need it. Empathy is a difficult value to attain since it entails going out of the self and considering others. 

Life is harsh and people became hardened with their experiences. But our intellectual will to become good allows us to become more than just another cruel animal in this jungle we call as EXISTENCE.

Toxic

                (photo: dailymail.com)

This person could be toxic. He takes away the rainbows once you are with him and allows the dark clouds to loom over you. He tries to inject negative energy to your day to the point that you are bombarded with complaints and the bad side of life. When you are with this person, it seems that you always encounter a road accident and you are compelled to slow down and see the mess.

You are sure that others also experience this thing. They encounter people who take away their happiness. There are those who are also called emotional vampires that they suck all your energy away by just being with them. They constantly hound you with their emotional hang-ups and once it’s your turn to pour out pent-up feelings, they simply do not care. There are even those who perform emotional blackmails just for you to stick with them.

One of the things you notice with those who have romantic relationships is their ability to destroy each other. There are those who could be very self-centered to the point that only his/her side is being considered. There are girlfriends who are so possessive that they forbid their boyfriends to even be with the boys' friends. There are also boyfriends who are so full of insecurity to the point that even the simple putting on of lipstick by the girl is prohibited. Once the self-imposed rules are broken, a series of emotional turbulence will be experienced. Sometimes these result to mud-slinging and worse, words like: you are not who you are without me! will be uttered.

What is then is the purpose of having a partner? Isn’t it to nurture each other? It has been a wrong notion to find an inspiration but be the inspiration! Yet the unmet needs of a person oftentimes rear its ugly head and be the cause of unease and emotional chaos. There are those who even post their harsh words on social media sites and inflict pain and shame to both of the parties. A dark intention of destroying the other would then surface... One main reason why relationships break is selfishness.

You have decided not be tainted with the toxins of these people. You don’t have prejudice on people but you could choose whom to be with. In your hands lie the power of your being and becoming. So, why stick to people who are already made and won’t allow feedback on their lives? This, often, could be considered as self-righteousness but you always believe in evaluated experiences and a decision must be done after evaluating the experience with someone. Transcendence won’t happen if your companions are constantly pulling you down.

Most of the self-mastered people do not have a lot of friends. They understand people but they won’t allow others to lead them since they know where they are going. They do not demand time and won’t allow others to patronize them since they understand their strengths and are working on their weaknesses. These persons have emotional intelligence that they are the ones who are nice to be with. They inspire and they are full of appreciation since most of them see life as a gift.

It has been a long-time discourse on the importance of Emotional Intelligence over Intelligence Quotient and skills acquisition. There is even a study focusing on Resilience Quotient since the world is now full of stressful events and in-between interference. These things are necessary steps in personal growth and even in the so-called relationship goals.

No matter what the facts and statistics are saying, you still have to stick to what you believe. You won’t allow others to take away your peace. The people around you are constants and in mathematical equations, there is always a variable where one could control. And in your case, that is YOU. 

In the end, what matters most is how you live your life. Be it meaningful to others or not, your own definition of what’s meaningful dictates your own happiness.

“ And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,

Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;

There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,

And evening full of the linnet’s wings…”

- William Butler Yeats (The Lake Isle of Innisfree)

Curtailed

(photo: abs-cbn.com)

We have committed the Golden Rule to memory: Let us now commit it to life.

- Edwin Markham

I have a student named Kian. He frequents the office for he belongs to this group under the office of the principal who creates campaigns on the programs and thrusts of the school. Together with his companions, they do photo shoots, tarpaulin designs and talk about pop culture to be used in mainstreaming the school events.

Kian is 16. He plays basketball and he spend time playing online games as well. He has big dreams to be a person who will help his family experience good things in the future… What if he was the Kian who was shot dead for allegedly “running” drugs?

One of the teachers in the Senior High School filed a leave of absence due to a death in her family. I dislike to shortchange the students that I opted to handle the subjects for a week.  When I looked at her teaching load, I realized that the subjects are within my area of control. There is Physics, Earth Science, Organization and Management and English for Academic and Professional Purposes. The Physics thing was easy since I taught the subject for fifteen years and Earth Science was majored by me in college. OM is my cup of tea since my post-graduate schooling is all about Management. I taught practical aspects in dealing with the subjects by integrating tools and mechanisms for learning to take place.

English is another story. The competency I was underscoring was to create opinions based on facts. The boys taking up Electrical Installation and Maintenance groped for words that their thoughts were hampered. So I decided to use a matrix of ideas using the mother tongue and mentored them on how to convert the ideas into English when they are going to write the opinions already.

The springboard idea for formulating opinions was: Why Kian?

I was focused on the technical stuff that I was taken aback when I heard the opinions later. Most of them aired out their sentiments on the value of life and the effect of the boy’s death to his family. I told them about the allegations about him being a drug pusher and runner yet there was one who said: Is it enough to kill a young person?

One learner said about the disparity of the rich and the poor. According to him: Why must the poor ones be the persons hunted by the police and not the rich kids? I followed-up the statement by asking what kind of society do we have when the rich seem to be always right?

Contrary to my belief that majority of my learners are not into creating stands; that they are mostly concerned about their emotions, I was proven wrong. This is probably because of their access to information and different media sources…

A deep reflection then arrested me: How could their opinions and ideas be translated into action? It is so numbing to feel that majority of the people in our communities are feeding into indifference…

The news is full of stories about Kian and how his parents raised their voices so that justice is going to be served. There are high-profile politicians airing their support to the plight of the family and his friends. The president himself said that he will not condone to the police if proven foul. Social media sites are also full of differing sides that there were instances that taking sides seem to be their point.

The main point here is TRUTH and JUSTICE. This is not blaming the president or the political leaders who are waging war against drugs. This is all about our humanity being put at stake. The value of life must be considered for the policemen also have family members as well. What if it was the other way around?

I will continue to raise awareness to the learners on societal problems since I still have around two days left. When I do a summative assessment, I will require a portfolio of ideas, slogans and journal entries for them to realize that learning is always geared towards living a good life.

When I reached my office, Kian was there waiting for me. There was something that he’d like to know. I did not hear him well. Instead, I asked him: What if it was you, Kian?

Mispronounced

(photo: quickanddirtytips.com)

Do not fear mistakes - fear only the absence of creative, constructive, and corrective responses to those mistakes.

- Rolfe Kerr

One of the things that really strikes me when I observe others is their ability to pick up the mistakes of people. Take for example: the way persons mispronounce words. During programs, you see them smile and whisper their critiques when the speaker miss the correct pronunciation of words. Of course, there are instances when the thought of the sentences becomes different when a word is mispronounced. But what about considering the courage of the speaker to talk in public? What about seeing the whole and not just the part of the speech? Pronunciation is a part of the communication process but if the message is delivered, isn’t it a minute thing to consider?

I also notice that these people who criticize a lot on pronunciation are so obsessed with the pronunciation per se and not the meat of the speech. Most of them could not talk straight because they are constantly being careful on how to enunciate the words. They are always editing their words that the thought of their sentences are affected. We hear them talk good when they have a prepared speeches which they rehearsed for hours but we could not get anything from them when they do spontaneous talking.

There was a time when I was listening to somebody lambasting a speaker for not being able to pronounce the words of his speech. I was lost on the ranting since I tried to remember the history of the critic’s public speaking engagements. Reality came that it was nil. So, what’s the credibility of the critique when one does not even has the clue what it is to be on the stage? You see, a book critic could never be called one unless he/she was able to devour tons of books of multiple genre.

Of course it takes a lot of skill to talk in public. Yet, there are people in the government service or even in the academe who are required to speak on certain occasions. Could you expect them to spend 10,000 hours of rehearsing for the speech to be perfect? Then, these critics would insist that such people need to improve their speaking skills…what for? If they are managers, why not concentrate on managerial skills? If they are school heads, why not put up a lot of energy on the teaching-learning process?

The point is: Not all can become very eloquent speakers. Leave this to those facilitators and whose careers are on public speaking. A speech is not just a set of properly-pronounced words. It entails getting the soul of the message rather than being distracted by an f mistaken as p.

Writing is similar: it is a means of communicating. But look at what 98% of the people are doing in social media. They are abbreviating words; they are using codes and misspelled stuff yet they are able to understand each other. Of course, it is not a good sign for us who are obsessed with the written word. Yet, only a few are complaining since they are able to come across.

There are even those who are very critical with pronunciation who could not write well. Their syntax is that of a high school student. Yet, the way they project themselves are that of demigods in the spoken word. There are those who constantly update their status and we cringe on their grammar. There are those who write to impress and not to express… Yet we keep our silence.

What if we consider our “superiority” over you and create a WORD WAR?

Can one picture what will happen to the world when we linger on petty things like this? Yet, the way we live our lives is that of a horror film? I’d rather pick a person who could not pronounce words properly than those who can but the stains on their humanity could not be erased by a BACKSPACE.

Inferiority

                                         (photo: istockphoto.com)

According to Psychology Today, the top three common reasons why people are into criticism are: 1. They have a strong unmet need that is not being satisfied; 2. They have a controlling personality and have to be in charge; and 3. They feel entitled to special treatment or status and do not feel they are receiving it.

When the chance to become a module writer for Values Education happened, you realized the importance of reflective thinking. This entails a lot of deeper analyses on the things going on inside you taking out emotions and allowing things to sink in before going into evaluated actions. This fact was profoundly discussed in the infamous book of Stephen Covey: Seven Habits of Highly Effective People where the author underscored the importance of being reflective than reactive.

You see, it is in reflections when you understand better why you react on stimuli. These reactions often define your values and the needs you have in you. Also, most of the needs anchored on such reactions are your blind spots. It is in constant prodding and self-evaluation when one reach the point of self-awareness too.

Postivepsychologyprogram.com says that Self-awareness is the key cornerstone to emotional intelligence, according to Daniel Goleman. The ability to monitor our emotions and thoughts from moment to moment is key to understanding ourselves better, being at peace with who we are and proactively managing our thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

In addition, self-aware people tend to act consciously rather than react passively, to be in good psychological health and to have positive outlook on life. They also have greater depth of life experience and are more likely to be more compassionate to themselves and others.

Recently, you heard about people complaining a lot. You understand the importance of feedback but if these complaints come from the same people, you often proceed to a deeper analysis on their personalities and behaviors. It has been clearly defined that complaining is the antithesis of appreciation. People most likely complain since they do not appreciate the things presented to them based on the aforementioned facts. Most likely, their unmet needs would be the source.

One springboard from such analysis is SOCIAL STATUS. There are really persons who thrive on the feeling that they must be recognized in the community where they belong. This could be normal yet when constant efforts would be done and actions are on the askew side, one would then wonder what emotional motivations do they have. If the name has already a loud ring on it, why continue to bang the gong even during uncalled-for times? 

The intellectuals would then start their own buzz in gatherings. You heard about how such actions are being laughed at within the circles. Their words could be harsh especially when they look for the reasons of such actions and consider inferiority as the culprit. The laughter would intensify when such behaviors and manifestations are posted on social media. This would then allow you to think that the feeling superiority over others are oftentimes the main factor how others see the real you: Someone inferior to them.

Still, we could not help these from happening. We play different roles and we sometimes are being victimized by our own needs and motivations. Yet, self-mastery is an integral part of our being and becoming. We went to school and gathered the necessary knowledge, skills and attitudes to be more functional in the society.

One specific example: Staging and managing a show. One could not do it unless management skills and aesthetic gifts are acquired. Yet there are lapses to come along the way. The manager exhausts all his/her resources to make the event a better one even if the actions are gratis in nature. Then, the imperfections would be noticed by the critics who do not even have an idea how to manage themselves manifested by their dysfunctional lives. The complaining overshadow the much-needed appreciation. This is when fault-finding occurs on both sides of the fence. Peace will then become an elusive thing to exist between people.

Human nature entails self-preservation. If both sides won't go to a deeper understanding of themselves and the reasons behind such outbursts, then an ugly cycle of negative patterns would be created.

Self-resolution: You won't allow others to take away your peace. You would let them be. They might as well be stewed by their own bitter juices. You continue to be of help to others by sharing what you have... including the displacement of appreciation others greatly deserve despite their weaknesses.