Some of them want to use you…
This is a reality one
has to face: There are those people who seem to appreciate you but their inner
motive is to attach to you to feed on their inadequacies. There are even those
who feign friendship but once they could sense that they cannot benefit something
from you, they leave you behind. Worse, they spread vile rumors about you.
When someone is using
you, the whole point of the "friendship" is that they get more out of
it than you do. If they're reciprocating too much, or worse, if they're giving
more than you are then they are going against their agenda. You definitely have
to give more over the long-term for them to "profit" from your
relationship (Vamos, 2019).
Like, they won’t be
your friend anymore since you are NOT achieving anymore. Consider the mental
pattern of such mindset. So, the main reason why they like you is the
ACHIEVEMENT that they could also take part since they are linked with you! What
sickness is there! Their capability to self-assessment might be nil…
Another sign that
someone is using you is simply that they don't really care to get to know you.
After all, it's not you they care about in the first place. If your
"friend" doesn't seem to pay much attention to what you have to say,
forgets important things about you, and overall just seems uninterested, then
obviously they must be hanging out with you for another reason.
They will soon then
put you on the sidelines if you are not of use to them. These people are
actually sick!
According to the
Urban Dictionary, a social climber is those who become friends with someone
else if that person has something that they want or need. Social climbers value
human relationship based on popularity and status, as those two things are
their primary needs. They do not value depth and intimacy in their friendship,
as they only befriend people who “know people.” More often than not, social
climbers are ambitious, competitive and high-achieving as their one and only
goal is to “get to the top”. They will never feel satisfied if someone else
holds a “higher-status” than them.
The urge to fulfill
their esteem needs, for one. According to Psychology Today, social climbing
behaviors may stem from a low self-esteem and an extreme tendency towards
self-comparison. Despite being social butterflies, they may actually feel
insecure about themselves.
They will always see
other people as better than them in terms of career, appearance, quality and
personality. And because social climbers never believe in themselves, they use
other people’s existence to boost their self-esteem. This is why they will
never build genuine friendship because if they think that your status is lower
than theirs, your friendship will never satisfy their esteem needs.
Some of them want to abuse you…
They do not actually
SEE you as a human with being. They are so engrossed with their needs they
would then criticize you as if they are the authorities of manners and etiquette.
Yes, some of them are superior to you in terms of position but they are
actually UGLY inside. They may dowse themselves with eau de toilette but they
are stinking inside. They bite you behind your back since they are corrupted
with the need to be superior.
There’s nothing worse
than a two-faced friend—a person you confide in who then tells everyone your
secret, or the person who tells you one thing, but then tells others the
opposite. Trust is a critical element of a good (Riggio, 2017).
Push them away. They
often think that they are doing the right way. Let them feel the exhilaration of
fake happiness. In the end, they will realize when they themselves will be left
by their fake friends once they are “out of the circle”.
(Some lines are excerpts
from Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics)
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