Nothing But Gas!

 

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Yay panhibay-anan!

There are those people who got threatened to others when they feel that they know better than them. Basic psychology tells us about insecurity, If these people are expected to lead, they then delegate and perform deflection.

Deflection is a tactic where someone avoids criticism or blame by shifting the focus or responsibility onto something or someone else.

This phenomenon happens when one over-delegates responsibilities. Leaders sometimes find delegation as an excuse when they are threatened by a task or they simply get away with the responsibility given to them.

Deflection is a psychological defense mechanism, which is essentially a way of protecting oneself from experiencing uncomfortable emotions like anxiety, pain, guilt, or distress, says Aimee Daramus, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist.

When can this thing become abusive?

When an individual uses deflection as a means of abuse, it is typically done in an effort to manipulate and control others. For example, a person who is constantly deflecting blame onto their partner for problems that they themselves are responsible for may be using this tactic as a way to maintain power over their partner (newzealandrabbiclub.net).

Deflection as a form of abuse can also take on a more insidious form. Gaslighting, for example, is a type of deflection that is specific to emotional abuse. Gaslighting is a tactic used by abusers to make their victim doubt their own feelings, memories, and perceptions.

In the end, deflection and gaslighting are primarily caused by narcissism. That is why mental health has become a worldwide issue since those who are mentally-ill seem to dominate organizations and the society.

Hungrier

 

Kinahanglan mapansin.

Ever wondered why some people want to be in the spotlight most of the time? They are not interested in events when they are just onlookers. They need to have a role to be in the limelight. They even get offended when they are not recognized.

You prioritize other things rather than what you are being paid to do. Although you see your work as meaningful and important, there are instances when you put this aside to address an unmet need. Example, you tell a lie just to attend a gathering where you feel that you are recognized. Chances are, you have this hunger for recognition or even affirmation.

Eric Berne, the one who theorized Transactional Analysis, defines recognition hunger as the need to be noticed or to receive attention and acknowledgement, which can only be supplied by another human being. It is a need for a sense of belonging and a feeling that other people know you exist in the world.

While all humans need affirmation from others, different people have different sorts of recognition hunger. Some are so internally weak; they need constant validation and applause. They seek publicity for themselves. They want to be noticed, and they ache when they are not noticed.

The hungrier they are for recognition, the weaker they are within themselves. They don’t think their life matters unless they receive constant attention, however superficial or ephemeral. It may seem odd, but it is often very true, that the most “popular” and “powerful” people are also the most lonely and insecure people [Angel, 2021].

Often, if people did not receive enough love, care, nurture, attention, protection, security, or support as a child, they seek these needs out from others. Seeking validation or approval from others or staying in a bad relationship are manifestations of this need.

Others also rely on other external means, such as materialism, throw themselves into work, over-eat or drink excessively.

Feedback from family and friends is important. But when the need persists to the point that the actions are already unhealthy, psychotherapy and counselling are deemed necessary.

Lookism

 

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Kilig!

Lately, there is a content creator named Risky Rian who is making girls swoon over his good looks. He suddenly sits beside a girl and smiles charmingly. The girl would then be charmed and smiles back with all the exhilaration there is.

Kilig according to the Urban Dictionary is an expression, reaction, or feeling that makes someone blush after an event. It is now accepted as a word paired with other English ones.

But what if the person does not have the same looks of Rian? Would the girls feel kilig over an unattractive male?

The ‘beauty bias’, or lookism, is the idea that someone is privileged because they are pretty, good looking or attractive. It’s not usually something that we talk about much, but it’s out there. Unfortunately, it means that if you don’t fit into society’s standards of beauty, or you’re not considered good looking, you could well miss out a lot [Owen, 2020].

Broadly speaking, the beauty bias concerns the favorable treatment that individuals receive when they are deemed more attractive, regardless of whether this happens consciously or unconsciously – and few individuals, let alone employers, admit to preferring to work with others based on their higher levels of attractiveness.

The poor will then be marginalized since they cannot afford cosmetics and beautiful clothes. They cannot augment their looks by plastic surgery and cannot afford moisturizers to soften their skins.

While the effects of being unattractive are arguably not as bad as discrimination based on gender, race, class, or disability, discrimination based on looks presents an injustice. However, there are certain epistemic injustices unattractive people may suffer in addition to being deprived of other social and economic goods [Mason, 2021].

Paired with the ignorance of people, we are always judged by the way we look. But then, those whose mindset are geared towards actualization, see people as they are.

Egocentric

 

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Sija da pirme.

There are long discourses on why people can be selfish most of the time. The selfishness manifests when others’ feelings, well-being and circumstances are NOT considered.

Selfishness is a situated desire to act in a way that benefits oneself and violates a prevailing social expectation, such that it disregards the desires of others in the situation.

According to Thomas Hobbes, human nature is inherently selfish and driven by a desire for power. Before civilization, Hobbes said, this selfishness led to anarchy: Each person sought power for themselves, creating an all-out war.

But with the advent of cognition and self-awareness leading Maslow’s theorized actualization, people tend to transcend selfishness. So, what then hampers its attainment?

Self-actualization is the process of becoming. The process is about becoming who you are in terms of self-awareness, fulfillment, appreciation, and satisfaction. Self-actualizers have a high degree of social consciousness. They have concern for the welfare of humankind.

As human beings, it can be challenging to step outside of ourselves with a sense of self-awareness. But when we consider this concept of self-actualization, it's important to understand we need clarity in how we see ourselves and our human potential (Lyons, 2021).

Therefore, it is safe to say that selfish and self-centered individuals barely reach the level of BEING. Maslow even theorized that for this to happen, DEPRIVATION was experienced by these individuals to behave that way.

The main reason why others are not generous of extending themselves to others is because they still feel that they are LACKING.

Because self-actualization involves a strong sense of purpose and self-awareness as well as the imperative that one's basic needs are met, it can be a challenging goal to reach.

 

The Invasion

 

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What is personal space?

Personal space can be defined as the comfortable distance between you and another person that you are talking to or stood next to. If someone invades your personal space, it means they are too close to you, and they are making you feel uncomfortable.

Personal space is important because it helps people feel safe and comfortable. If someone invades your personal space, one can feel uncomfortable and unwanted (twnkl.com).

Lately, there is a heated discussion on social media when award-winning actress Lea Salonga shooed some fans outside her dressing room.

CNN Philippines reported: In the now-viral video, some fans asked Lea Salonga for a photo from outside her dressing room, claiming they are friends of the co-producer of the show, former actress G Tongi. Salonga said they aren't allowed backstage unless they are on the guest list for "security purposes." She said the fans can wait outside where she will accept their request.

There are those who mentioned about her being a snob. But isn’t it true that it can be alarming when strangers invade your private space?

Personal space is the area, or unspoken boundary, that people feel necessary to set between themselves and others to feel comfortable during interaction.  It is the unwritten rule for distance that people should observe when meeting others to maintain a level of personal and professional comfort. Personal space apart from being an important form of body language, is also a key component of all relationships, and must be respected (Mehta, 2020).

Even if actors are public figures, we still have to understand how to draw the line between respect and being rude by invading others’ personal spaces.

Blasphemous

 

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Hinsobrahan da na binayot!

Controversy stirred by a drag performance that used Catholic Mass song "Ama Namin" and featured a twerking Jesus performed by PURA Luca Vega. The Filipino drag queen sparked heated debates on social media after posting a video of herself singing an Ama Namin remix to a cheering crowd at a bar.

The remix was a punk rock version of the Catholic Mass worship song, and Vega performed this in an outfit that seems to portray Jesus Christ.

Even the LGBTQ community cried foul on the seemingly blasphemous portrayal of the Lord’s Prayer which is revered by Christians especially by the Catholic community.

The drag queen mentioned about freedom of expression and even stood on her footing that there is nothing wrong with what she did. But isn’t there a line drawn on the so-called “freedom”? What if your expression brings distress, insult and psychological disturbance to the majority?

"In my opinion, this is the height of the misuse and abuse of our freedom of expression that borders on criminal activity," Senate President Juan Miguel Zubiri said Thursday reported by Philippine Star.

There is nothing wrong with being gay and drag is an expression already accepted by the masses. But the universal value of respect must be practiced by everyone who is straight, gay or whatever gender one identifies with.

Most of the time, the need to fuel up a controversy has a psychological implication. Persons who perform taboo might have issues on self-knowledge and awareness.

Who would have known this Luka if she did not perform such infamy anyway?

Alienation

 

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Kalaong nija kun dako an ranggo, dako na sab sija na tawo!

It has been said that you are not your position. But there are those who are drunk with it to the point that they feel invincible. They see others as if they are mere pawns in the game.

Arthur C. Brooks in an article titled “A Profession Is Not a Personality” said: Reducing yourself to any single characteristic, whether it be your title or your job performance, is a deeply damaging act.

Your career or job should be an extension of you, not vice versa. You are human– a father, mother, friend, brother, sister or a parishioner. You are a mother of two who is a CEO… not just a manager or something else.

Trapped in an energetic field that feeds on itself to create the aura they dwell within, powerful persons are bound to get drunk on their own sense of importance (Nangia, 2011).

You will see these persons around. They claim that they deserve the respect and accolade brought about by their positions because they worked hard to attain their jobs. This may sound correct but the idea of being reduced to the “position” is not ideal. You are human with being first prior to becoming an engineer, actress, doctor or anything else.

Workism is the belief that employment is not only necessary for economic production but is also the centerpiece of one's identity and life purpose. This was coined by American journalist Derek Thompson, in 2019.

Getting drunk with the position you have can lead to your own alienation. People will also objectify you as your work. By the time you retire or lose your job, they cannot see your worth. You yourself allowed it to happen during your peak moments.