When Darkness Come

 

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Arang kadugyom pirme an kalibutan.

Affirmation plays a crucial role in childhood development. Young children need to feel valued and appreciated to cultivate a future where their confidence remains intact. Without consistent affirmation, developmental gaps in self-esteem may persist and even intensify as they age.

While some argue that adulthood offers the ability to overcome childhood insecurities, evidence and research suggest otherwise. These unresolved deficits often continue to affect individuals well into adulthood, persisting through old age.

When the desire for affirmation and other unmet needs overwhelm an individual, The Shadow begins to consume their persona, distorting how they present themselves to the world.

Carl Jung's concept of The Shadow(1921)  refers to the unconscious and often repressed aspects of an individual's personality—traits, desires, or behaviors that the person refuses to acknowledge because they are considered undesirable, socially unacceptable, or contrary to one’s self-image.

These aspects remain hidden in the unconscious but can strongly influence thoughts, emotions, and behavior, often manifesting in ways the person may not recognize or control.

This writer is deeply fascinated by Carl Jung’s concept of The Shadow, believing it holds profound significance in shaping an individual's psyche. It is as though this hidden aspect of the self, if left unchecked and nurtured, has the potential to haunt or even overpower the individual, exerting a powerful influence over their thoughts and actions.

While The Shadow cannot be entirely eliminated, it can be integrated and managed through conscious awareness and self-reflection. This process is central to Jung’s concept of individuation, where a person strives to become a more whole and balanced version of themselves by confronting and accepting their Shadow.

Jung emphasized that the goal is not to control or suppress the Shadow, but to integrate it. Suppressing the Shadow can lead to it manifesting in unintended ways, such as through projection or irrational behavior. By acknowledging the darker, hidden parts of oneself, individuals can gain insight into their unconscious motivations and desires, ultimately reducing the Shadow’s unconscious influence.

The Shadow cannot be "controlled" in the traditional sense, but it can be integrated through self-awareness, acceptance, and introspection. By doing so, individuals can harness its potential and prevent it from unconsciously sabotaging their life.

If not, darkness consumes their world.

Avoiding the Straitjacket

 

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Delikado.

Loneliness is dangerous. There are those who are trying to project an image of NOT being lonely yet their actions obviously manifest some sort of disorder.

Many individuals attempt to mask their isolation by projecting an image of confidence, busyness, or even happiness, but beneath the surface, their actions betray a deeper turmoil. These attempts to conceal loneliness often manifest in subtle yet telling ways—whether through erratic behavior, compulsive tendencies, or an overcompensation for emotional disconnection.

The UCLA Loneliness Scale, developed by Russell, Peplau, and Ferguson (1978), is often used to assess the subjective experience of loneliness. It reveals that loneliness, even when individuals have social contact, can lead to feelings of emptiness and disconnection, which are strong predictors of poor mental health outcomes such as anxiety and suicidal ideation.

Some individuals already exhibit these symptoms, displaying sudden erratic behavior, becoming combative without warning, and lashing out at others simply to gain attention.

Studies have shown that erratic behavior and aggression are commonly associated with conditions like borderline personality disorder (BPD), bipolar disorder, or attention-seeking behaviors in personality disorders (Krause-Utz et al., 2018; O’Connell & Myers, 2016).

These conditions often result in impulsivity and mood instability, which can aggravate interpersonal conflicts and worsen an individual's mental health over time.

Health has often been emphasized as a personal responsibility, requiring individuals to engage in regular self-assessment and reflection to gain deeper self-awareness. However, when self-awareness falls short or blind spots emerge, external feedback becomes crucial in identifying areas for improvement and guiding appropriate interventions.

If unattended and denial persists, the cuckoo’s nests await.

Enslaved

 

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Uman pirme man nija tag-isip an ija mga tagbati?

When an individual lacks the ability to manage emotions, they may either become highly reactive when feelings are triggered or fail to grasp the importance of engaging the Thinking Brain in decision-making.

Being emotionally dependent isn't inherently negative, but it can become limiting if it leads to impulsive decisions or a lack of objectivity in critical situations.

Those who haven’t developed strong emotional regulation skills may find it challenging to balance emotions with rational thought. Without the ability to manage or compartmentalize feelings, emotions take control.

The distinction between the Thinking Brain and the Feeling Brain highlights two essential aspects of human cognition: rationality and emotion. The Thinking Brain, often associated with the prefrontal cortex, is responsible for logical reasoning, problem-solving, and long-term planning. It processes information analytically, enabling individuals to make decisions based on facts and evidence rather than immediate emotional responses (Damasio, 1994).

On the other hand, the Feeling Brain, linked to the limbic system, especially the amygdala, governs emotional responses and instincts. It often reacts quickly, driven by desires and fears, without considering long-term consequences (LeDoux, 2000).

While both systems have their unique roles, a balance between the two is crucial for sound decision-making, as over-reliance on either can lead to undesirable outcomes. Excessive rationality might result in emotional detachment, while emotional dominance can lead to impulsive actions (Kahneman, 2011).

Both parts of the brain play essential roles, but many of our life's struggles arise from the Feeling Brain's dominance. We are inherently emotional creatures, and the Feeling Brain is the driver behind most of our decisions, while the Thinking Brain often tries to rationalize or justify those emotions afterward.

While we can't eliminate the influence of the Feeling Brain, we can learn to guide it by developing greater self-awareness and setting values that align with our goals.

People need to acknowledge the power of emotions but not be enslaved by them.

There will always be conflicts among our daily interactions when everything is governed by what we feel. Most of the time, we have to be objective in dealing with the things we are facing.

Otherwise, we will find ourselves perpetually burdened with feelings of discouragement and exhaustion.

Avoiding Dementia

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Hawoy mag-isip!

FullyBooked once displayed a sign that read: "The presence of bookstores proves that people are still thinking." The sign is gone now, perhaps removed for the subtle critique it posed to those who seldom visit.

What was intended to celebrate intellectual engagement might have highlighted an uncomfortable truth: it shows the fine line between inspiring people and making those who prefer other activities feel left out.

Currently, there is a significant challenge with reading among learners. Many struggle to progress to comprehension, hindering cognitive development. Also, parental encouragement of a love for reading is lacking, resulting in a diminished capacity for deeper intellectual engagement in children.

Adults are often captivated by the immediate entertainment offered by social media, frequently bypassing posts that promote deep thinking.

Social media provides immediate rewards such as likes, comments, and shares. This instant feedback is highly stimulating and reinforces continued use. A study by Alter (2017) discusses how digital platforms are designed to exploit our desire for instant gratification and dopamine-driven rewards, making them more appealing than the delayed gratification of reading a book.

The preference for social media over traditional reading among adults is driven by factors such as instant gratification, decreased attention spans, convenience, social connectivity, visual stimulation, perceived relevance, and lower cognitive effort.

Preferring low-effort activities often means engaging in tasks that do not challenge the brain or stimulate critical thinking. This can lead to decreased cognitive engagement and lower mental stimulation.

Over time, this can result in diminished cognitive skills such as problem-solving, critical thinking, and memory retention. A study by K. A. Erickson and colleagues (2010) found that mental stimulation and challenging cognitive activities are essential for maintaining cognitive health.

A study published in The New England Journal of Medicine (2019) by Stern et al. found that individuals who engage in activities that stimulate the brain, such as reading, problem-solving, and learning, have a lower risk of developing dementia.

The study emphasizes that cognitive reserve, built through mental stimulation, can protect against the onset of dementia.

If unattended and not given focus, the degeneration of the brain can be terrifying since you will even forget who you are.

Commonplace

 

 

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Makiuso pirme.

What is it about trends that makes them so pervasive? Are they not similar to an epidemic, spreading rapidly through society? Why are people so irresistibly drawn to whatever is considered "in"?

People get into trends due to a mix of psychological factors, including the desire for social acceptance and belonging, fear of missing out (FOMO), and the bandwagon effect, where they follow others to feel included.

Trends also offer a way to express and explore identity, while cognitive biases like novelty-seeking and the influence of media amplify their appeal. Additionally, trends provide psychological comfort by reducing decision-making stress and aligning individuals with cultural norms, making it easier to fit in and feel secure in a social context.

Younger individuals are prone to joining such trends because they are still on the age of looking for their individual identities. But there are also adults who still want to be authentic and relevant.

Research by Cialdini and Goldstein (2004) on social influence shows that excessive conformity can diminish personal autonomy and self-expression, which are crucial for psychological well-being.

When people follow trends without questioning, it can reduce critical thinking and lead to a passive acceptance of information. A study by Kahneman (2011) on cognitive biases shows how the availability heuristic, where people rely on readily available information (often trends), can lead to flawed decision-making by bypassing deeper analysis.

To avoid being swept up by trends, one should cultivate self-awareness and critical thinking. It's important to reflect on whether a trend aligns with personal values or if it's driven by a desire for social approval.

If unguarded, this can lead to a sense of disconnection from one's authentic self, impulsive choices that may have negative consequences, and a constant chase for external validation. Over time, this can result in a lack of fulfilment and a diminished sense of self-worth, as one's identity becomes increasingly shaped by external influences rather than personal convictions.

In Malcolm Gladwell's “The Tipping Point”, he explores how small changes and social dynamics can lead to widespread adoption of trends. According to Gladwell, when individuals follow trends merely to gain acceptance, they often contribute to a collective shift that might ultimately lead to a superficial or banal version of selfhood.

A nondescript identity muddles the mind of the attention-hungry. Then, the mental well-being will then be affected.

Objects

 

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Jaoy pa gihapon mga macho… Mahamok

Jean Mangaluz of the philstar.com reported on August 15, 2024: Former "bad boy" turned Sen. Robinhood Padilla questioned if there was anything a husband could do to compel his wife to have sex with him even if she does not want to, leading to a lesson on consent.

The senator who led the senate poll then was addressed by feminist lawyer Atty. Lorna Capunan who made it clear: No means No, even in the context of marriage between a wife and a husband.

“Paano ako?” the bad boy of Philippine cinema then gesticulated.

Consent is a fundamental human right that must be upheld in all relationships, including marriage. The notion that a spouse could be coerced into sexual activity is deeply troubling and reflective of outdated and harmful attitudes towards marriage and gender roles.

Senator Padilla's remarks present an opportunity to reinforce the importance of educating society on the principles of consent. This includes understanding that consent must be freely given, enthusiastic, and revocable at any time. It is crucial for lawmakers, public figures, and educators to champion these principles, ensuring that everyone—regardless of gender—understands and respects the boundaries that protect individual rights within all relationships.

Morrison Torrey (1991) explores the legal and social implications of marital rape and the importance of consent in marital relationships. His study provides a comprehensive analysis of how the law has evolved to recognize that marriage does not nullify an individual's right to bodily autonomy.

Legally, marital rape is recognized as a crime in many jurisdictions, including the Philippines. The notion that a spouse has an inherent right to sex without the other’s consent is not only outdated but also legally indefensible. If Senator Padilla is unaware of these legal protections, it might reflect ignorance of the law, particularly in areas related to gender and human rights.

Worse, if Senator Padilla lacks this knowledge, it is a serious issue that could undermine his effectiveness as a legislator and his ability to represent his constituents fairly and justly.

Paano tayo?

Digital Chains

 

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Dali dakan ayahan. Gusto lingaw pirme…

The idle television in the living room stands as a poignant symbol of a bygone era when families would gather to watch their favorite soap operas together. Today, the scene is vastly different, with most people hunched over their smartphones, endlessly scrolling through a barrage of images and videos, lost in the digital maze.

The rise of mobile phones has shifted entertainment to the small screens in our hands, making the internet the lifeblood of modern existence. For many, especially those on the edge of poverty, the lure of connectivity is so powerful that they would forgo basic needs, like food, in exchange for data to stay online.

This shift in behavior is not just a matter of convenience but has deep social and psychological implications. A study by Fuchs (2020), titled "Digital Divides and the Internet: A Review of the Literature and a Study on the Global Internet Usage Gap," explores the phenomenon of mobile phone dependence, particularly among lower-income populations.

Fuchs highlights that mobile phones have become a crucial tool for accessing entertainment and information, especially in developing regions where traditional media consumption is declining. The study discusses how the internet has become essential for social inclusion, with connectivity seen as a necessity rather than a luxury, even leading to sacrifices in other areas of life, such as food and healthcare, to maintain online access.

This increased internet usage is closely linked to a decline in physical activities, particularly among adults, contributing to sedentary lifestyles and associated health risks. Internet addiction, driven by psychological factors like emotional regulation, social needs, and underlying mental health conditions, further exacerbates this trend. Research by Kim et al. (2009) found that loneliness and a lack of social support are significant predictors of internet addiction, as the internet offers a sense of community and connection that may be missing in real life.

The conveniences of modern technology have come at a cost, gradually eroding our health as we trade movement for the sedentary comforts of screen time. Returning to an active lifestyle is not just about fitness; it is about reconnecting with our natural rhythms, fostering real-world relationships, and nurturing a sense of presence in our own lives.

Stepping away from screens and embracing physical activity is a profound gesture of self-care, essential for restoring balance in a digitally dominated world.