Avarice

Hakog. This is a Visayan term for being selfish or someone who does not have the capacity to share. When we were still young, the elders taught us to share our candy and even toys to others. The intention of the adults is for us to develop the sense of generosity since they see our friends and neighbors as extended family members. But there were instances that we kept our food to ourselves even if the other kids are drooling to taste some of it. Child and Psychotherapist Joseph Sacks mentioned that children are normally selfish because they are engaged in the fundamental business of creating their very selves. A child is supposed to be a receiver.

But what is the reason why there are adults who turn out to be selfish individuals? Why do some people give to others while some never do it? Is selfishness a by-product of skewed self-love?

According to Radwan (2018), selfishness is a sign of weakness. The selfish person fears to give some of his/her time, money or effort to others because he/she is afraid of the consequences that might happen on making such a sacrifice. The person who is always busy and who never gives few minutes of his time to the people in need is actually afraid of wasting his/her time believing that he or she has no control over his/her life.

We hear of parents having bad feelings towards their children since the latter do not have time to visit them anymore. Their reason is always that of being busy. We also hear of siblings’ misunderstanding about the money to be spent for the parents’ medicine and even food. The generous ones will oftentimes keep their quiet and continue to give while the selfish beings have their justifications.

Recent research indicates no decisive conclusion regarding whether humans are “fundamentally generous or greedy and whether these tendencies are shaped by our genes or environment.” (Robison, M; 2014). Studies seem to indicate we are both, and the reasons are genetic, evolutionary, and environmental.

We might cling to the belief that selfish (or clannish) people come from selfish families. But there are those who turn out to be generous even if their parents are infamous of their greed. Parents might also monitor the exposure of their children to their friends since they could acquire the negative traits of the group which will later be developed in adulthood. Still, people who aim for transcendence could look back and realize the faults and failures they have done in terms of being self-centered. They usually evolve to become better individuals.

But then it stems down to being self-evaluative or being self-righteous. Since we have the tendency to have that animalistic side of having everything for our own wants, we could reflect on the value of sharing things than hoarding them. We need to understand that things of no use are USELESS. Our self-righteousness must also be monitored since it might lead to being mentally and morally unhealthy.

The assumption that selfishness is the fundamental human motivation rests on the view that selfishness is beneficial, whereas otherishness is costly; people are selfish because they benefit from selfishness. In some ways, this is obviously true; people who give their money or time to others have less money or time for themselves, and people who selfishly hoard their money or protect their time tend to have more money or time for themselves. Money, time, and other tangible things tend to be finite resources and therefore often work in zero-sum ways—the more one gives to others, the less one has for oneself. (Crocker, et.al, 2017)

But many social goods that people give to and take from others are not so clearly finite resources that can be exhausted if spent or accumulated if saved. Emotional support and acts of kindness, for example, may cost no money and need not take much time.

It is a conscious effort for us to give our time, talent and treasures to others. We might see this as nonsense for we deserve what we have since we work for them. But our presence in this world is not just to EXIST, We are here to LIVE and our lives must be meaningful. The love, affection and respect could be shown by us to others through sharing food and things which could lift up the spirit of others. Life is a continuum of bondage and caring.

In the end, we will become a distant memory. If our memories allow the persons we left behind to smile, our legacy of having lived a generous and meaningful life is infinite.