Replace

 

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Kuman bag-ong tuig… Here are some things which I hope won’t thrive on social media during the New Year.

1. Romanticizing and Normalizing Binge Drinking. Here is hoping that those who post drinking as a form of achievement will think twice. Alcohol addiction is a serious case. It is not something to be proud of just like nicotine addiction.

2. Incorrect spelling. When the education department discussed about learning loss brought about by the pandemic, there was a reaction that it already existed long before. People writing great instead of greet; consistently using the word bunos, instead of bonus and using multiple exclamation points to highlight something happened prior to COVID 19. We hope that this year, people will capitalize the proper nouns and re-learn the basics.

3. High Sense of Entitlement. There are people who abuse the so-called freedom of expression. They think that anything can be said and posted without the filters of manners and etiquette. The moral fiber of each one should be intact before embracing delusions of grandeur.

4. Insensitivity. People should understand that what they say and post can hurt others and their families. There must be a consistent effort among netizens that positive and empowering words can help build communities and harsh ones destroy.

5. Absence of the Nerds. I hope that the nerds, the mathematicians, the literary minds and artistic individuals will flood the feeds with their creations rather than the stupid, banal and trivial stuff hounding our screens.

6. Narcissists. The “Me-Myself-and-I” people can start counting the use of I in their conversations and write down things on big notebooks how to overcome their psychological issues.

7. Rude and Disrespectful Youngsters. We hope that responsible parenting happens this year. You see, the rude actions of adolescents and young people are products of parental neglect or skewed home environment.

 

Most of all, respect and discipline may exist. A lot of people are NOT delaying gratification to the point that 2022 was filled with some things worth regretting. We hope and pray that a more positive and peaceful world will exist.

Materialism on Christmas

 

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Ajoon an pinaskohan, o ihatag? We need to instill in the minds of the children that Christmas is NOT about gifts or food. It is all about welcoming the truth that GOD is with us; that the word became FLESH.

One misconception about Christmas is the role of godparents as “gift-givers”.

Traditionally a godparent will take part in a baptism or baby dedication for the infant, and make a vow to assume a role in the spiritual development of that child. A godparent serves God in developing a close-knit relationship with the child, encouraging through a Christian light whenever possible (Logan, 2020).

It is then a role of the godparent to nurture the spiritual growth of the children by loving them dearly and encouraging them to be closer to God. He/she must be God-fearing too to take upon this role.

Gifts are given, not asked.

The basic definition of a gift is a thing given willingly to someone without payment. Therefore, when you ask for it, it is not actually a gift. It is something given out of a request.

Materialism during Christmas.

There is this mentality that MONEY must flourish during this time of the year. Even the godchildren want money during the holidays.

In Veritas Truth Survey (VTS) conducted from Nov. 1 to 30 by Church-run Radio Veritas, 1,200 respondents were asked what kind of gift they would prefer for Christmas. Thirty-eight percent of the respondents said they wanted to receive “gifts in cash” this holiday season, while 32 percent preferred to have “gifts in kind” (Patinio, 2022).

So, what then is the true meaning of Christmas?

Actually, this is a SPIRITUAL celebration. The enrichment of the spirit is the main purpose of celebrating. The realization that God loves the world by giving His only son; The time when we see the obedience of Mary as he pondered in her heart to accept the role of nurturing Jesus… and our efforts to follow the examples of the Messiah.

This is a Christian thing, Let us keep it that way.

Emmanuel!

Holiday Blues

 

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Uman an iban di man ganahan nan Pasko? There are times when we remember the character The Grinch. But if we dig deeper, there are indeed reasons why some get sad during the holidays.

According to Winchester Hospital, the reason behind the claim that depression rates and suicides rise during the holidays is that holiday cheer amplifies loneliness and hopelessness in people who have lost loved ones, or who have high expectations of renewed happiness during the holiday season, only to be disappointed.

Indeed, there are some who expect a lot during the season when everybody is expected to be merry.

The American Psychological Association reported that 44% of women and 33% of men surveyed feel stressed during the holidays. The holiday blues strike people experiencing the forced joyfulness and expectations of the season.

The reasons for holiday blues vary by individual. According to clinical psychologist Michelle Paul, triggers include "memories of lost loved ones, and with that, a sense of yearning or aching to be with them," along with "too high or unrealistic expectations for what things 'should' or 'must' be."

We then go back to understanding ourselves. It has been mentioned most of the time that we are the ones who can “allow” emotions to rule over us. We can write the sadness down and start counting our blessings. If we cannot help it, we might seek professional help.

Christmas and New Year’s Eve often present challenging demands, from never-ending parties to family obligations. These events can come with higher levels of stress.

If you’re dealing with feelings of stress or depression, know that you aren’t alone. There are ways to manage your symptoms and get the help you need.

Look for your friends and be with them. Mangatawa ta anay!

Fallacy

 

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Isa day hindunggan motoo na dajon. Sometimes, we really wonder why some people capitalize “isolated cases”.

An “isolated case” is just a one-off case — it doesn’t represent any general or specific pattern. Otherwise, lawyers would describe the isolated case as being “a case unique on its own facts.”

The ‘isolated’ here means happening rarely or practically only as a unique incident. Therefore, it means it is separate (‘isolated’) from everything else.

But why is it that some people jump directly to conclusion about things they hear and observe even if these are just isolated cases?

The hasty generalization fallacy is sometimes called the over-generalization fallacy. It is basically making a claim based on evidence that it just too small. Essentially, you can't make a claim and say that something is true if you have only an example or two as evidence (owl.exelsior.edu).

In conducting research, one can never draw a conclusion from an isolated case. The thematic analysis is one thing that a researcher must undergo to break responses into codes then group them into themes. Hasty generalization is drawing a conclusion based on a small sample size, rather than looking at statistics that are much more in line with the typical or average situation.

If so, is there an underlying reason why do people perform hasty generalizations aside from the inability to conduct scientific qualitative inferences?

According to Rangan (2019) psychologists have found that basically there are reasons why people pass judgments:

A person, who has low self-esteem, uses judgment and hasty generalization to put oneself in a position of control. By labeling the person attempts to exert control over others and establishes oneself as the complete opposite. This is cathartic for the individual and offers him or her power.

As a general rule, the more insecure a person is about themselves, the more judgmental they’ll be toward others. This might be about personal appearance, social standing, achievement, fitness, health, age, or even behavior.

A lot has to do with a person’s upbringing and past experiences as well.

With these, when we will be hurt by these people, we try to remember how blessed we are to be loved and affirmed by our parents. We look back at our happy childhood years and pity those who are still nursing on their pains.

Baduy

 

Hasta da iton aja da mag drowing drowing hampan arang baja kamahal! When you hear these words from unappreciative people (especially on art), you sometimes wish to shrink on your seat.

Aesthetic experience concerns the appreciation of aesthetic objects and the resulting pleasure. Such pleasure is not derived from the utilitarian properties of the objects but linked to the intrinsic qualities of the aesthetic objects themselves.

The mind and psychological well-being is linked to art appreciation. There are those who cannot see the beauty in it, but the appreciative brain will then get the “experience” of being touched by the object seen and subjected to the different senses.

Recent studies suggest the arts can promote health and psychological well-being and offer a therapeutic tool for many, e.g., adolescents, elderly, and vulnerable individuals (Daykin et al., 2008; Todd et al., 2017; Thomson et al., 2018). Aesthetic experience has been associated with mindfulness meditation, as it leads to enhancing the capability of perceptually engaging with an object (Harrison and Clark, 2016).

To appreciate or “feel” art, one needs to have sophisticated cultural knowledge.

We remember people who say: Do not be with these friends, “they are uncultured!” They are simply underscoring the fact that such friends lack finesse. There seems to be a gap on manners, etiquette and some sort-of socially accepted movements among these persons.

Art is about the sensory experience; it connects the bridge between thoughts, feelings, emotions with movement. The best part about art, or rather the psychology of it is that you don’t have to be an artist to truly appreciate what art has to offer (Reynolds, 2020).

So, those who dismiss works of art are either unappreciative of the time and skills poured out to finish the piece or dismiss art/artists as nonsense might be lacking the needed cultural knowledge… or they’re simply un-aesthetic.

If they dust off the work of art, we let them dwell on their ignorance. Anyway, most of them are being talked behind their back on their bad manners (like eating) and how they dress up!

Tardy

 

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Di ta pirme mag seryoso, hapi hapi da gud! People who are having this mentality fail to understand the idea of delaying gratification.

The concepts of delayed gratification, self-control, and self-regulation are often used interchangeably and inconsistently. The ability to delay an impulse for an immediate reward to receive a more favorable reward at a later time is the standard definition of delayed gratification. Studies have shown that the ability to delay reward is present in highly successful people.

The infamous mañana habit is a classic example on this. When a person delays the main task of accomplishing something from doing an enjoyable activity like scrolling up and down the social media sites, he/she is not prioritizing well.

Work ethic varies from person to person. High achievers choose to work for long-term goals consistently. Avoiding distraction, staying self-motivated, and having a strong connection with why the goal is important are key examples of delaying gratification in favor of long-term achievement (Miller, 2019).

When a deadline is fast-approaching and you are then stressing to cope with the outputs, you might have episodes when you failed to prioritize. You should have delayed gratifying yourself by doing things which are most important.

But then people do not confront themselves. They find scapegoats and point fingers. Their weaknesses are not accepted since pride is one of their main driving forces.

Researchers have found that this ability to delay gratification is not just an important part of goal achievement. It might also have a major impact on long-term life success and overall well-being (Mischel, 1989).

Those who are successful are envied. But then, they are doing their tasks well. Those who are NOT delaying gratification are always delayed with their outputs and eventually their own success.

 

In Tact

 

Kilaya kaw jaon maningog da lamang nan yay torapak? These persons often hurt the feelings of others for their tactlessness. Worse, there are those who simply do not care about the feelings of others.

The operational definition of tact is a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations. It is a sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing.

People who do not have tact is of course, tactless.

Often, people who come across as rude, arrogant or tactless have many underlying issues. People who are generally happy, content and satisfied with their lives don’t project negativity onto others on a regular basis. When someone is tactless or rude, you can safely assume that they are dysfunctional within themselves on some level (Kloppers, 2021)

Many develop personality disorders which influences them as adults. They learn to distrust others and never let their guard down. Some learn that the best defense is to attack. Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths come from disturbed childhoods. Genetics also play a part and the mix of genetics and environment can result in an explosive combination of nastiness (thoughtsonlifeandlove,com).

These people exist. They sometimes are within our areas. They often annoy us especially when they constantly display their distasteful behavior. Although we understand that they were pathetically raised by their parents, this can never be an excuse for them to hurt us.

If they constantly attack, we can magnify their flaws out loud. We can give them a dose of their own medicine. Sometimes, it is TACT when we deal with difficult people.

We can also speak their language.

Bloviate

 

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Kinahanglan motingog gajod bisan uno day tanulti. There are mates in the office or organization who will often raise their hands during discussions while the rest of the companions cower on their seats, embarrassed by the actions of the comrade.

Plato once said: Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Indeed, there are those who will just speak for the sake of talking.

To bloviate is talk at length, especially in an inflated or empty way. We often hear people in academic discourses who will suddenly rise from their seats in an attempt to talk but then we do not understand what they are pointing at. They simple babble which can sometimes become their habits in gatherings.

The thing about it is they feel good about the deed. They do not understand the importance of maximizing time by curtailing the smooth flow of the intellectual colloquies.

But anything can be said since we have the right to express ourselves, right? Yet, there are psychological implications on people who will talk for the sake of talking which often routes the discussion to them.

A conversational narcissist is someone who constantly turns the conversation toward themselves and steps away when the conversation is no longer about them. They are generally uninterested in what other people have to say (Moore, 2020).

Conversational narcissists don't necessarily meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), says Wendy Behary, LCSW. "They're usually somewhere on the spectrum, though.”

Conversational narcissists will jump into the conversation while someone is midsentence. At first listen, it can sound like they're being helpful or sharing a resource, but it quickly becomes clear that this conversation is no longer about you—it's about them (Behary, 2020).

Again, depression is not just the mental health issue that we need to consider.

Imposing, Controlling

 

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Pagtoo nila bright sila ambaja kay tala-tala. Imposing people aren’t born, they’re made. There’s no gene or biological, physiological indicator that leads someone to become bossy. This tendency or this need to control other people is clearly transmitted through culture. First it comes from their general surroundings, and then from the family.

Have you noticed that there are people around you who seem imposing? The word
“please” is not in their vocabulary. Also, they seem to forget that no one has the monopoly of knowledge and ideas.

What makes these people become imposing is, on the one hand, a value system, and on the other, a combination of features of their personality. The bossy person doesn’t think they have a problem. Actually they usually think their actions are praiseworthy. Even their psychological conflicts reaffirm their opinion (exploringyourmind.com).

When others feign superiority, it is an obstacle for creativity, prevents moving forward and change, and encourages unhealthy patterns of communication. It also makes human relationships into a constant source of conflict that sometimes explode and sometimes sticks around as uninteresting and unproductive.

A lot of chances for development will be curtailed when the imposing person criticize others and insist on the “brilliance” of his/her idea. Contempt is always developed around these personalities.

What causes controlling behavior?

The most common are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People with anxiety disorders feel a need to control everything around them in order to feel at peace. They may not trust anyone else to handle things the way they will.

Nazario (2022) mentions that controlling behaviors can also be a symptom of several personality disorders, such as histrionic personality, borderline personality, and narcissistic personality.

But since we know that there is something wrong with them, can we just let this pass? When we are constantly bombarded with the imposing situations we can always tell them to slow down. If they persist and continually insult us, in a curt voice, we can say:

See a doctor! Specifically, a psychiatrist. You are sick!

Those Who See You as a Person

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Jaon sila kun mabibo pa. Waya na kun waya nay imo. This is a harsh reality that we have to confront. There are people whom you thought are your real friends. They are always there when they need your comfort and companionship. But they are not there in times when you are the one to need them.

A fair-weather friend is there when things are going well for you, but disappears during your rough patches (Sherman, 2016).

There are times when you wonder why there are people who suddenly appear or call you up. There are even those who will cajole you to have outings with them since they are bored. These persons are oftentimes using you as an instrument to wipe away their boredom. Selfish ones won’t be there when it is your time to need them.

Fair-weather friends are exploiters of true friendship who are interested in unilaterally receiving support.

A person who is for you will celebrate your victories, cry with you during times of sorrow, and be there when you need advice. A fair weather friend is someone who is there for you only when it’s convenient for them. Not every person can be elevated to the status of a true friend.

One of the worst cases is when you will be picked by someone to be a friend because you are “convenient”. You seem to be the submissive type that the narcissistic characteristic of the other won’t be overshadowed. You are there any time the selfish friend wants you. You are always the follower so the ego of the egocentric individual won’t be harmed.

Meghan Marcum said: Being used is definitely not a sign of a healthy relationship. It means one person is taking excessively while the other is making all the sacrifices.

We will not fall prey on this unhealthy relationship. Detect early signs and leave them. There are people worthy of your attention and will be there in times when you are down. It is high time to be unleashed from the manipulating and sickening behaviors of these people.

We set ourselves free. We deserve true friends. We are not just for convenience. We have needs too. We deserve to be loved.

Insecure, Insane

 

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Hilabtonon The moment, they see the fault of others, they make it sound as if it’s the greatest mistake of the century.

All people have insecurities. These are the things that we see in others that we ourselves don’t have. This may come in the form of characteristics, achievements, material things, or even physical appearance. Tan (2016) mentioned that instead of us just being happy for them for the things that they have, we make an effort to find fault in them just so we can get even with them.

There is nothing wrong when one party complains about the actions or attitudes of another, if that complaint is designed to improve the relationship. But when it becomes a habit and such criticisms are meant to hurt and destroy, it can be another story.

When someone presents an idea, finding a flaw or an improvement makes one feel superior. It gives him/her an illusion of knowledge and expertise irrespective of whether the person possess it or not.

Then we go back to the concept of self-improvement by doing things within the sphere of influence. Why not consider your own flaws?

Self-improvement is any activity or goal that enhances quality of life, helps reach one’s full potential or leads persons to realize their dreams. Improving the knowledge, skillset, character or mindset are all good ways to move toward one’s self-improvement goals.

But insecurity is oftentimes undetected. Persons who do not make efforts to perform self-evaluation have the tendency criticizing others to feel good about themselves. They like putting others down so that they can feed their egos. The act of criticizing gives them power. In reality, they have shrunken personalities either caused by their parents or by peers when they were still young.

So what then? Do we just allow these persons to muddle with our lives?

We leave them behind. They are just unimportant facts. Despite the criticisms hurled at us by these detractors, we continue doing the best that we can and keep doing the right thing.

Let them deal with their insecurities which, if not dealt with, will lead to their insanity.

Green with Envy

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Kun magkalipay an iban, maglabad an uyo. Kun abtik sab an iban kay sa ija moisan paglabad an uyo! You have these people around you, right? They are full of envy to the point that they will be irritated with your happiness and achievements.

Envy is an emotion that occurs when one person wants something another person has, whether that thing is a material possession or perceived success or stature.

A complex emotional experience, envy can consist of many elements: longing, feelings of inferiority, ill will toward the envied person, resentment, and guilt. When a person becomes envious, it is often due to some degree of dissatisfaction with the self (goodtherapy.org).

There are companions in the workplace who will make moves to destroy you since you are “too much” for them. They do not understand that it is the deep-set insecurity and envy in them which propelled them to muddle with the business of others. There are also superiors who question your professionalism especially if you will be “liked” better than them.

They fail to reinforce the reflective questioning the inner person using WHY? Why am I behaving this way? Why am I making this achiever as an enemy? Is this some kind of insecurity? Am I envious with the “freedom” of this person?

Envy tends to be directed towards those with whom we compare ourselves, those with whom we feel we are in competition. As Bertrand Russell wrote, ‘Beggars do not envy millionaires, though of course they will envy other beggars who are more successful.’

Burton (2014) posited that envy has never been a greater problem than it is today. Our age of equality encourages us to compare ourselves to one and all, and the internet and social media make this all too easy, fanning the flames of our envy.

So what then? Are we going to allow them to harm us? Or we going to ignore them and let them wallow on their unhealthy mindset?

We continue to improve ourselves. We do our best in everything that we do. We won’t hamper their need to monitor our daily grind and allow them to get envious. What if this is the only meaningful activity of their pathetic lives? We might be depriving of the reason of their existence. Because if they won’t change, they are probably born (or nurtured) that way.

If they are inevitably near (like workmates), ignore them. But if they persist, it is also human nature to bite back. Life is short to keep quiet. Be professional in doing so since you will always win if you do so! 

Un-zapped

 

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Mag video call baja bisan nagmisa? There are people who cannot leave their mobile phones for even one hour. They fear that they will miss out something if they won’t check what is happening around them. They fear that they will miss out something “important”.

British psychologists elaborated and defined FoMO (fear of missing out) as “pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”, FoMO is characterized by the desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing.

There are people we know that even during meals are tinkering and scrolling on the social media sites. Cell phone use during meals is just as bad as eating while watching television. This is especially true if the mealtime in question is centered around family, friends, and treasured occasions.

Amuno (2022) reported: While phones interfere with the eating experience itself, they actually deny us the opportunity to enjoy the food we are eating. In any case, we spend more time swiping away than touching the food. When the brain is hypnotized by the smartphone screen, it under-utilizes sensory elements such as sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound, which are all closely linked to eating.

Checking and scrolling through social media has become an increasingly popular activity over the last decade. Although the majority of peoples’ use of social media is non-problematic, there is a small percentage of users that become addicted to social networking sites and engage in excessive or compulsive use.

That is the phenomena during the early 80’s when people tell you that you are zapped-out. You are physically present but you are somewhere else.

These facts are telling us that manners, the wise use of technology, the strong sense of self-knowledge, the importance of face-to-face communication, the application of our education, discipline and the wise utilization of our time are what matter most.

We will USE technology. We MUST NOT let technology USE us.

Redress

 

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“Hay salamat klase na, ya nay sagdahonon sa bayay!” These words were overheard from a parent who heaved a sigh of relief that their naughty children are now in school. “Mak-trabaho na ko nan yay mag samok-samok!”

Kurtz (2022) reported that in districts that were offering mostly remote or hybrid instruction last school year, 71 percent of survey respondents said students are misbehaving more this school year, compared with 52 percent from districts that had offered mostly in-person instruction the previous year.

Lately, there was a student who got hospitalized due to physical injuries. He was mauled by school mates. Some learners were also reported defecating on their classroom’s floor. Worse, cursing among learners in the elementary intensified. Some kindergarten teachers are complaining about their daily struggle with the unruly kids.

The ironic thing is this: Lots of parents are now happy that their peace is back that the in-person classes are back.

According to Nierva (2009), parent involvement in the Philippines is vague because there is still a need to improve parent involvement practices, especially those promoting the parents’ active involvement in the child’s learning at home and in school. Much of the practices of Filipino are brought about by history including the ways parents raise their children.

There is still a need to educate the adults that the attitude and well-being of children are PRIMARY responsibilities of the parents, not the teachers.

In order for a child to succeed, parents exert a lot of influence on their child's cognitive development in the early years and thus, the contact between home and school should be maintained, especially during the primary school years (Ho, 2009).

So, what then? Will the teachers just shrug their shoulders and allow these truant creatures to thrive?

For starters, let us visit their houses and see the ecology which might be the causal factor of the learners’ behavior. We then say: KAYA PALA! Then, we can introduce their parents to the registered social workers of our place.

Since our hands are full, we can report them to such authorities so that they will be reprimanded for their irresponsibility.

 

Blatherskites

 

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Tungod sa ka-bright ya na magpakatunong! Tungod sab kay nag pa-bright bright ya na noon maamo Have you experienced to have this confusion when a boss or a companion in the workplace speak of a certain concept that you often cannot comprehend?

Worse, when you will be blamed with an assigned task without a framework.

According to a report from the Economist Intelligence Unit, poor communication can lead to low morale, missed performance goals, and even lost sales in business.

But what about those leaders who project intelligence then pass the responsibilities to their subordinates? They find “empowerment” and “delegation” as excuses. In fact, they simply do not want to do the task (or do not know about it) that they simply pass it on.

It is all very well to try to get things off one’s plate. But if the leader is simply removing work from the pile only to dump it onto someone else’s, this isn’t necessarily effective time management (Brearley, 2020).

In the education arena, there are teachers who complain about too much paper work since the school authorities are passing-on their work to them. There are even school heads assigning teachers to track the lesson plans and develop findings through analyses! No wonder many of them are complaining about paperwork.

Being detached from the team can also cause a leader to be distanced from the details of their work. One doesn’t need to know everything, but often the leader is expected to be able to speak about the work of the team or report progress. Having no answers never looks very good!

There is a need to be at par with the position one is proud about. Self-improvement through developing the self by continuously learning and exposing oneself to learning opportunities are tantamount to the outputs expected of a leader.

Let us be empowered. We do the tasks first and allow others to learn through modelling.

Then, the achievements you post on social media can be more meaningful than claiming them as solely your effort.

 

Bad Fruit

 

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Report dajon kan Tulfo amo da sab di kun sila an sayaan! There are parents who are creating noise these days since they are always putting the blame when teachers react to the misbehavior and misconduct of their children. They even use the word “trauma” as if they understand the magnitude of such experience.

Trauma, according to the American Psychological Association, is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.

And shouting to the unruly adolescent to “Shut Up!” can cause trauma? What about the neglect the parents gave by NOT giving them complete meals which is a basic responsibility of them?

As parental affection and influence decreases and the amount of time children spend in non-parental care increases, an increased likelihood for behavioral problems both at home and at school is observed. Parents are critical in every aspect of a child’s development (Cavell and Strand, 2002).

Authority, responsibility, discipline, and accountability constitute the foundation of a sensible behavioral structure in all persons. Parents fail to exert these four premises of behavior in their children and this has gone a long way into shaping their children’s failing to uphold moral values and etiquette.

And when these children converge inside a classroom with only one teacher to traffic their undisciplined action, what is there to expect? There are parents who will then say that teachers are paid to be facilitative with the behavior of the learners. It can be true. But the mentors are not there to clean up the mess of these irresponsible parents manifesting on the ill manners of the children.

Let them know their inadequacies! The teachers can compose themselves even if their emotions are boiled up. They can call the attention of the parents and confront them with their irresponsibility. They can even raise their voices since NEGLECT is child abuse. A teacher can tell the parents up front that THEY are the ones causing long-term trauma to their children.

Since some are weaponizing the social media, the teachers can do the same. Subtly and in a professional manner, they can post things on why these cretins become who they are.

Tell them the story of a bad tree bearing rotten fruits!

Center of the Universe

 

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Uman di man sija makatunong pagtubag? Have you encountered people who do not know how to answer questions? You see, there are those who will be asked with a simple question answerable with yes or no but they answer you with phrases. That is when communication halts.

Is this their way of sounding clever? Or, they are simply incompetent with their communication skills.

A good communicator can encourage two-way dialogue, discuss critical issues, exchange information, build trust, and engage people in the desired goals of a group.

Good communication skills are key to success in life, work and relationships. Without effective communication, a message can turn into error, misunderstanding, frustration, or even disaster by being misinterpreted or poorly delivered (Hereford, 2020).

Yet, there are people who are incapable to communicate since the concept of this as two-way is not applicable to them. They think that their own ideas are the important ones. Often, their insecurities propel them to block another person for them not to confront the inferiority of their ideas. Or, their narcissistic personality overpowers.

One of the main reasons why we dislike certain personalities is their inability to listen and their power-seeking efforts to cut us off. These types like to be the center of the conversations to the point that they think that all conversations gravitate to them, their spouses and children or anything about their lives.

If you know somebody who constantly makes everything about themselves or seems to have little to no consideration for others, you are likely dealing with a self-centered person.  This is common with people who have narcissistic personality disorder and makes it difficult for them to maintain healthy relationships with others (Mutziger, 2022).

Sometimes, the concept of “having a standard” on friendships is a wrong concept. You simply do not know how to communicate well. This might be caused by something in your personality. A disorder might be one.

 

 

Swatting the Gadfly

 

                                                 (image: youtube.com)

Jaoy gajod siway na pangisip.Magpahisulti da lamang para kaw ma-insulto In a group, an organization or even a small circle, there will always be someone or two who give you headaches.

Psychological theories of deviant behavior come from a variety of perspectives. The psychoanalytic approach, for example, might suggest that all people have repressed, unconscious urges that lead to social deviance (Hartney, 2022).

Learning theories, on the other hand, might suggest that these behaviors are learned by watching others engage in deviant behaviors.

Genetics also has an effect on temperament and overall personality. These characteristics and traits may influence the likelihood that a person is born with the character traits.

But, can’t an adult learn to be more congenial and behaved rather than enjoy being the gadfly? You see, it is very irritating for leaders to be continuously bombarded with the “complaining” simply for the sake of the act with no deeper intention but to create confusion among the group.

Why some people are enjoying being cruel?

Humans typically do things to get pleasure or avoid pain. For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don’t like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don’t feel the pain of others or they enjoy feeling that others are in pain (McCarthy-Jones, 2020).

Another reason people harm the harmless is because they nonetheless see them as threat. Their insecurities propel them to insult, hurt or deviate from your ideas since they feel that they are better than you.

Poor people! We could not imagine how unhappy their lives can be.

For us, we continue to learn and proceed to become better versions of ourselves by empowering others. Not hurting or insulting them.

We See You!

 

                                               (image: youtube.com)

Simay kilaya ini sa ila?

THE GRIPER. Everything is against them. Everything must be complained at – the weather, the system, their jobs, their responsibilities. These people experienced childhood deprivation to the point that their adult lives must be spent on letting others become unhappy like them.

THE OVER-CONFIDENT. They believe that they are gifted with all the knowledge in the world that they belittle others even in public. They just do not understand that their actions are magnifying their ignorance by making a façade of being great. But times are changing, People can now determine who is intelligent and who’s a moron.

THE SOCMED PATROL. You may think that these types of people are busy since most of the day, they are stooped to their laptops. Yet, they are just looking into the posts of others to look for mistakes. Also, they seldom post anything since their grammar is nightmarish! They’d rather be the fault-finder than the one to commit a mistake!

THE PATRON. Ever met people who patronizes you? They openly appreciate your achievement and will even tell you that they idolize you. Beware, these persons are just putting up a front. Behind your back, they backbite.

THE MANIPULATOR. There are times when at your down moments, there are people who will introduce themselves as supportive to you. Yet, true to their evil intentions, they simply see your weaknesses as your Achilles’ Heels. They will then pounce for the kill!

Yet, these people think that we do not know! That we are unaware of their motives. Listen: You just wait. You cannot CON a CON.

WE understand that water has its course; that the bad intention will surely go back to those whose intentions are dark. What goes around comes around.

We will talk about you. We laugh when similar minds see your feigned “power”. We then see the decline of your sanity, happiness and even relationships. When you talk about our seemingly “bad” performance, people know how to compare you and our efforts and outputs. They even tell us about your stupidity!

We then become victorious in our quest for self-development while you will be destroyed and rotten to the core.